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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to complain about this busdriver? (pushchair related)

178 replies

candlelight2012 · 28/10/2013 19:40

Would appreciate some opinions before complaining as I'm unsure whether or not he was correct

There was a mother with two young children, one about 2/3, one about 8/9 months (going by eye) with a buggy in upright position in the buggy spot, and the older child on a seat younger one on her knee.

Bus stopped to change drivers and new driver got on the bus and told the women she had to fold the buggy up and move seats as another buggy was coming on.

The new family, mum dad and baby about 7 months, with downs syndrome got on and waited for the mum to fold the buggy and move.

The mum and passengers were all saying to the bus driver that the new passengers should surely be the ones to fold the buggy as they were coming on second, the driver didn't address anyone apart he mum and started raising his voice and hurrying her to move

This took about 4 mins and the mum was in tears by the end of it.

OP posts:
Mumof3xx · 28/10/2013 20:28

I too would rather get off the bus than juggle my baby and folding a pram most buses here can fit 3 prams but a lot of the time people sit there!

WestieMamma · 28/10/2013 20:29

YABU to complain about the driver. I'm not surprised he raised his voice because the woman with the empty buggy and the other passengers were all arguing with him. What was he supposed to do, park the bus, arrange a mediation session and then take a vote?

BrianButterfield · 28/10/2013 20:30

When I've taken a pushchair on the train, it's clear that if you get on and there's already someone in the pushchair space, it's up to you to folds or find a way to fit on. It's not up to the person who is sitting down, children settled, stuff organised etc to move, that's ridiculous. I've been in both positions and when I was second on, I folded and juggled, but that wasn't the first person's fault.

Mumof3xx · 28/10/2013 20:33

My issue on then train is getting on and all the spaces being full of bikes

If your have a bike ride you bloody bike don't take it for a train ride

hazeyjane · 28/10/2013 20:33

Hang on, so the second couple did help her fold the buggy, I don't understand what all the hoo hah is about then?

PrincessFlirtyPants · 28/10/2013 20:33

What was he supposed to do, park the bus, arrange a mediation session and then take a vote?

Grin Grin
MrsOakenshield · 28/10/2013 20:34

so, hang on, there was space for 2 unfolded buggies to be on the bus, but they weren't allowed to use it? That is very stupid indeed and worth a word if you are so-mionded.

I think the wheelchair thing is a red herring - there wasn't a wheelchair getting on. If a wheelchair was getting on I would get off, but in the situation the OP describes, I might well have ended up getting flustered.

And, whatever buggy you have, if it is full of shopping and just general stuff you need when out and about (certainly for a longer period of time - Mum 1 might have been out for the day) with 2 small children, it will be hard to fold. Ridiculous and very unempathetic to blame Mum 1 (or anyone, for that matter) for her choice of buggy. Maybe she didn't usually use the bus but had to this one time? But everyone who might have to use the bus should factor that in when buying their buggy? Don't be daft!

WestieMamma · 28/10/2013 20:34

x post with OP's last update.

YABevenmoreUnow as you want to complain about the driver even though he helped the women by folding her pram for her.

MrsOakenshield · 28/10/2013 20:34

so-minded.

Original poster
candlelight2012 · 28/10/2013 20:37

hettine I am not sure if you are trying to paint mum one as the 'bad' one here? She was filing her nails and reapplying her makeup of course!

Or perhaps she was trying to gather up her shopping from the bottom of the buggy and her other child and move seats?

OP posts:
Troubledtimes · 28/10/2013 20:37

Hypothetical question : what happens if a disabled mum (without a wheelchair who looks 'able-bodied') has children in the pushchair and then another disabled person in a wheelchair gets on the bus? Who has priority then? Do the two disabled people have to prove who is most disabled?

A wheelchair means that you have no choice but to advertise your disability but you don't have to actually discuss your disability with people.
But being disabled without a wheelchair means that you don't need to tell anybody else and you might find it difficult to start explaining it to strangers on a bus.

hettienne · 28/10/2013 20:39

How would I know candlelight, you were there - presumably you know what she was doing while everyone was helping her Confused

Troubledtimes · 28/10/2013 20:40

These fucking bus threads always wind me up!

hazeyjane · 28/10/2013 20:41

Sorry, but if a child is disabled then in effect their pushchair/pram/buggy is their wheelchair. Before ds was issued with a sn buggy he fitted into a standard buggy, but it was a lot more difficult to take him out and fold the buggy than a child who is nt.

Original poster
candlelight2012 · 28/10/2013 20:45

He didn't so much help her westieMamma it was more when he told her to fold it, she said 'I'll just put the wee one back in' he then started to try and fold it even when she said please don't.

Although reading through these replies it does seem like loads of people think mums and pushchairs and buses are just a no go.

I don't drive, my children are older however when I was getting out and about on public transport with pushchairs it was a simple case of, if someone is already there you have to wait for the next bus

OP posts:
hettienne · 28/10/2013 20:48

I reckon the rule should be all pushchairs must be folded on the bus, much simpler that way and sorts out arguments like these and people refusing to move for wheelchairs.

WestieMamma · 28/10/2013 20:48

How does that make it any better? So he tried to help her. She refused his help. And you want to make a complaint about him. What exactly do you want to complain about? Confused

decaffwithcream · 28/10/2013 20:49

It would seem a bit much to tell someone they had to wait for the next bus if there was just an empty buggy in the space though.

NotMeNotYouNotAnyone · 28/10/2013 20:53

The driver shouldn't have been rude. But if mum1 had both kids out of the buggy she should've folded it. Mum2 also should've offered to fold as she had partner there to help with the baby. In a 7 month old in this situation I don't see that Down's syndrome is relevant??

Uppermid · 28/10/2013 20:54

its stories like this that is why I stopped using the bus

decaffwithcream · 28/10/2013 20:55

Not buggies and buses being a no go, I think what people are saying is that non- foldable prams and buses are not a good idea, unless people are prepared for the possibility that they may have to vacate the wheelchair space.

Original poster
candlelight2012 · 28/10/2013 20:56

WestieMamma , he shouted at he , told her she had to move, didn't offer to help just tried to fold the wheelchair.

He was acting like a tit

OP posts:
Original poster
candlelight2012 · 28/10/2013 20:57

sorry buggy not wheelchair!

OP posts:
Morgause · 28/10/2013 20:57

Mum number 2 should have folded. She had one child and a partner to help her. Mum number 1 was on her own with 2 small children.

Driver sounds like a horrible bully.

I hope you do complain about him.

Original poster
candlelight2012 · 28/10/2013 21:01

thinking about it I don't think their where either wheelchair spaces or buggy spaces when mine were little so thankfully I never had to neogiate this minefield.

I just felt sorry for the mum as she ended up in tears and did seem to get an unfairly hard time of the busdriver

OP posts: