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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to complain about this busdriver? (pushchair related)

178 replies

candlelight2012 · 28/10/2013 19:40

Would appreciate some opinions before complaining as I'm unsure whether or not he was correct

There was a mother with two young children, one about 2/3, one about 8/9 months (going by eye) with a buggy in upright position in the buggy spot, and the older child on a seat younger one on her knee.

Bus stopped to change drivers and new driver got on the bus and told the women she had to fold the buggy up and move seats as another buggy was coming on.

The new family, mum dad and baby about 7 months, with downs syndrome got on and waited for the mum to fold the buggy and move.

The mum and passengers were all saying to the bus driver that the new passengers should surely be the ones to fold the buggy as they were coming on second, the driver didn't address anyone apart he mum and started raising his voice and hurrying her to move

This took about 4 mins and the mum was in tears by the end of it.

OP posts:
KathrynKampbell · 28/10/2013 21:03

What did everyone else do while this was happening OP?

bakingaddict · 28/10/2013 21:05

I use buses regularly with my 2 DC with one in a buggy. Most of the time I try to leave DD in the pram but she does insist more these days on coming out. I dont fold the pram as its quite a faff getting 2 kids and an unfolded pram off a bus on my own. Most bus drivers in my area will just tell that there is already 2 prams on regardless of whether there is actually a child in it. Its first come first served just wait and you just have to wait for the next bus

decaffwithcream · 28/10/2013 21:08

People assumed my son was about 7 months old when he was 3 years old.

Primarily due to Down Syndrome and all the medical problems that can go with it.

He would have lacked the muscles strength to sit well on my lap and would have been far far harder to hold safely than a typically developing much younger baby.

I certainly would not assume a child with Down Syndrome was 7 months old because he looked around that age.

Debs75 · 28/10/2013 21:08

To be fair these 'buggy' spaces are not for buggies they are for wheelchairs, as are the first 2 rows for disabled passengers. The baby with downs was disabled and should of got the place but if there are 2 places then they both could be on until a wheelchair user got on.

The bus driver was a bit twattish here and made a situation when they wasn't one. Also the first mum should have really folded the buggy down if the baby wasn't using it. It is like a pp said putting your bags on a seat therefore taking an extra seat up.

OP if you feel it is worth complaining first ask the bus company for a copy of their regulations re buggies and wheelchairs.

slothlike · 28/10/2013 21:08

I think some people on this thread must not use public transport very often. I've been in a similar position to the first mum, and it CAN be a huge hassle to fold a pram (especially a badly-designed one which is difficult to fold at the best of times, like mine...) when you've got a very young DC to look after (who may become upset by having to be held by strangers during the folding; having a screaming DC on the bus is seriously not fun...) along with stuff in/on the pram which you then need to take off and hold along with your DC. And then the whole process in reverse when you're getting off the bus. And all this whilst the rest of the passengers watch you struggle.

Can't say I've cried about it, but I can see how adding possible disturbed nights and general toddler-related stress into the mix might be a recipe for tears.

hettienne · 28/10/2013 21:11

I only use public transport, often with 2 children, and haven't found folding a pushchair that much of a nightmare tbh. Yes, it takes a couple of minutes but hardly the end of the world. Of course, I didn't buy a huge non-folding pram.

WestieMamma · 28/10/2013 21:12

WestieMamma , he shouted at he , told her she had to move, didn't offer to help just tried to fold the wheelchair.

He most likely shouted because instead of folding as instructed the woman and the other passengers were all arguing with him.

He told her to move because he decided a baby in a pushchair took priority over her luggage.

As for the unsolicitated help, how very dare he. The bastard!

Original poster
candlelight2012 · 28/10/2013 21:13

KathrynKampbell most were telling the driver he was out or order, but he ignored everyone and just kept telling the women to move and trying to put down her pushchair.

I know it's hard to visualise a situation on the internet but everyone was a bit Shock at the way the busdriver was speaking to the 1st mum

OP posts:
Original poster
candlelight2012 · 28/10/2013 21:16

Her luggage?

So her pushchair is luggage but the boarding pushchair isn't?

OP posts:
hazeyjane · 28/10/2013 21:21

The boarding pushchair had a baby in it.

Was the boarding pushchair a pram or buggy?

bumpandkind · 28/10/2013 21:26

YANBU and I'm suprised at the level of venom coming from some posters. As a Mum of one 4m old who uses buses daily, it can be stressful traveling with babies and a buggy and many passengers and bus drivers can be less than helpful at best. Folding a buggy when you are holding someone that cannot sit unaided is near impossible. I fully understand the tears as the pressure and stress potentially put on you in this situation can be overwhelming on the wrong day.

Could the second buggy user have waited for the next bus? (I'm used to London buses running every 10 mins).

laughingeyes2013 · 28/10/2013 21:26

Personally I think the fairest option would be for the parent with least adult to child ration should do the folding. So a Mum with 2 children should be spared by 2 parents with only 1 child.

If I were the second person on a bus I'd expect to be the one folding. There is no point in folding for the sake of it because it might be unnecessary.

However ALL parents should expect to fold pushchairs within seconds should it be required of them.

misspontypine · 28/10/2013 21:29

Was the 2nd baby asleep? I would say a sleeping baby should get the space.

It is possible that the 2nd baby had recently had an operation and the parents felt it was more secure in the pram. I find when I'm on the bus all the bumping about and swaying makes it difficult to hold my baby firmly but gently, I'd prefer him to be in the pram ( the first mum obviously didn't feel this way or she wouldn't have taken her child out of the pushchair)

hazeyjane · 28/10/2013 21:32

But children with downs often have hypotonia (low muscle tone), meaning they are much floppier than a baby without these issues. My ds at 1 (he has a genetic condition, not Downs) was floppier than most 4 month old babies, completely unable to sit up and at 7 months he wouldn't even have been able to hold his own head up.

Original poster
candlelight2012 · 28/10/2013 21:33

erm i'm not sure, hazeyjane I would use the term buggy for both of them because to me a pram is where you have a sort of cot, horizontal on fame, both of these were sort of pram sized but with seats rather than cots.

The first mums one was bigger and chunkier but the second one was not a maclaren one foot fold up either

OP posts:
Debs75 · 28/10/2013 21:38

A sling would be so much easier if you can't fold a buggy down. Hands free and you don't take up so much room.

I think buggy space threads are doing the rounds again. I posted almost the exact same response last week

MrsOakenshield · 28/10/2013 22:12

well, when DD was a baby I'd frequently head into town for the day (so leave home at 10, maybe return at 4), maybe meet my mum for lunch, go to a gallery, do some shopping. My back isn't the greatest so not sure how I would have carried baby in sling, change bag with enough nappies, wipes, change of clothes to last a day, water and maybe a book for me, plus whatever shopping I did, for 6 hours. No, wouldn't work. That's what my buggy, with basket and handles, is for. Sorry for wanting to get out of the house and all that. Luckily I never came across any of the mean-spirited people who seem to inhabit these kinds of threads.

hettienne · 28/10/2013 22:16

Take a stroller you are actually able to fold = no problem.

hazeyjane · 28/10/2013 22:21

Candlelight, could it have been a sn buggy?

bakingaddict · 28/10/2013 22:27

Er what do you do Debs if your baby is past 6 months. Are you seriously suggesting mums should be putting 12+ months babies in slings for a couple of hours of shopping. I can fold my pram I just choose not too when I have already taken an allocated space unless a wheelchair user boards

ceeveebee · 28/10/2013 22:29

There aren't that many double buggies that are easily foldable with one hand whilst also being slim enough to fit through the bus doors and into the space where buggies are allowed to go.
If there was room for the two buggies then the driver was being a twat.

OneStepCloser · 28/10/2013 22:31

I don't understand why the other passengers didn't jump up and help tbh instead of sitting there arguing with the driver? Many hands make light work.

hazeyjane · 28/10/2013 22:34

But the family who got on offered to help, the mum said she would hold the baby whilst her husband and the driver folded the buggy.

OneStepCloser · 28/10/2013 22:38

But why not the other passengers on the bus? Op said they told the bus driver the second couple should fold up the pram, why not just help the woman with no baby in the pram? Would have taken seconds.

Alanna1 · 28/10/2013 22:42

I struggle to fold my double buggy, plus its usually overloaded with stuff - one toddler and one crawling baby. Neither would happily sit still in the pram for ages, either. I wouldn't fold the buggy - if a wheelchair user got on, I'd get off. And I'd complain if I was shouted at.