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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think its not ok to call people mental

145 replies

LEMisafucker · 27/10/2013 21:59

It would appear that mental health is one of those areas where it is still OK to be prejudiced. To the extent where people do it without any real malice and would probably realise they are causing upset.

But the thing is, it DOES upset me and i am pretty sure it upsets others.

It upsets me because i a have fairly minor mental health issues, they often quite a negative impact on my life but its ok, im on medication, it helps. Other people aren't quite so lucky and their illnesses have a huge impact.

Over and over i see this on threads - Well, shes mental or she needs her meds The connotation being that a person is derranged or barking mad.

In tesco they have a halloween costume called "mental patient" Hmm

I suppose i am technically a mental patient - but im not likely to go running down the street murdering people and social services have not seen fit to remove my children.

I don't want to upset anyone but mental illness has enough taboo, people don't seek help because they are ashamed as it is still so misunderstood - something that isn't spoken about, but still joked about.

I know this may seem trivial to some people but I have had people treat me differently because i have had some mh problems - nothing major really, PND and anxiety, but you can see people sort of taking a step back say if you tell them you are on ADs. I have learnt its better not to tell anyone, but if i were a diabetic i wouldn't feel the need to keep that a secret.

I just wanted to challenge the taboo a bit (apologies if it was comments on another thread that made me want to post this but didn't want to "kick off" on the thread anymore than i did and hijack, it just really gets me down)

OP posts:
TrumptonVandal · 27/10/2013 22:01

YANBU.

ilovesooty · 27/10/2013 22:01

It's one of my pet hates. I think it's absolutely unacceptable to call people mental. YANBU.

Heartbrokenmum73 · 27/10/2013 22:03

YANBU.

I have mental health issues too and I HAVE kicked off on other threads about the stigmatisation surrounding it. I think if people don't stand up for this issue, it gets swept under the carpet.

Mental health are just like other medical problems - why do some people not get that?

TrumptonVandal · 27/10/2013 22:07

I also don't like people being described AS their illness - a "schizophrenic" is actually a real live person who happens to have schizophrenia for example.

Iwaswatchingthat · 27/10/2013 22:09

YANBU

One of my pet hates too.

Also hate hearing "I did not think they were that kind of person/that type" when someone is depressed. As if you have to be a certain kind to suffer mental illness.

Makes me really angry!!!!

KissesBreakingWave · 27/10/2013 22:10

NBU. Middling-serious MH issues of my own. Sometimes tempted to ask why, if these poltroons really believe MH sufferers are dangerous, they're saying such offensive things about me?

Problem is, I'm a big chap with prominent facial scarring and I own several axes and a chainsaw*. It'd just be playing into stereotypes.

*Big garden. Also did some demolitions work during the early days of my recovery from rock bottom. Hard manual labour where I got to just flat-out wreck things all day was ... cleansing.

AgentZigzag · 27/10/2013 22:11

YANBU at all, but tesco (and asda?) had that halloween costume, and took it down pretty sharpish after tons of people got on to them about it. Which is good.

I don't get stamping up and down rage about it when I see it on here, but it does fuck me off a bit when I see poster after poster saying how someone who's an obvious wanker is a nutter/mentalist/total loon because they've done something unusual.

It's the linking of everything negative with it, and I can understand why people might be frightened of it as a group of illnesses, but it's pretty frightening for people who have to put up with not only the mental health problems they have, but being portrayed like this as a stereotype.

Mine's affected every single part of my life, all my life.

I care about how other people see me through the lens of it (mostly when they try to discredit my opinion as being because of my MH problems rather than that I'm able to think they're a twat all on my own thankyouverymuch straight), but I try not to too much because there are some who have had it much worse than me, and it's them who need protecting from this tarring.

WorraLiberty · 27/10/2013 22:12

YANBU at all.

Though I have to admit to saying things like, "Really? That's mental" if someone tells me something outrageous.

I'm aware I need to stop though.

SPsTombRaidingWithCliff · 27/10/2013 22:14

I came to say what worra said. I normally say a situation is mental if it totally outrageous and unbelievable. Nothing connected to MH or anyone with MH problems.

WorraLiberty · 27/10/2013 22:14

I agree Trumpton

I also hate reading "My child is ASD"

No, your child is not an Autistic Spectrum Disorder.

Iwaswatchingthat · 27/10/2013 22:14

It is embedded in our language though.

In my previous post I wanted to express my anger - could only think at first of phrases like "It drives me insane/mental/crazy/mad"

Iwaswatchingthat · 27/10/2013 22:15

X post

LEMisafucker · 27/10/2013 22:15

Agentzigzag I thought that too, but i saw it on sale at my local tesco only yesterday - in their "sale" section. In fact i got the rage because some teenage boys were pissed off because they didn't do the "mental patient" in their size.......

Worra i know what you mean, i have done it myself but i think its often a case of context.

OP posts:
Itsjustafleshwound · 27/10/2013 22:15

Yanbu

It is such a dismissive label displaying complete lack of empathy.

SanctimoniousArse · 27/10/2013 22:15

YANBU

SeaSickSal · 27/10/2013 22:16

Oooh, I dunno. Because I have problems of my own and I do refer to myself as being mental when I talk about them. That's only myself though.

Shakey1500 · 27/10/2013 22:16

YANBU.

I once attended a training session where the trainer got anecdotal about something (can't remember what exactly) and finished her tale by saying..

"And of course, if we (general) don't stick to the guidelines we'll all go mental and be carted off to the looney bin...."

I could hardly contain my rage and tore a strip off her afterwards.

LEMisafucker · 27/10/2013 22:17

its context i think - i think "its driving me nuts/mad/mental" is ok - but there was a thread tonight where an unpleasant woman was described as "mental" and "crazy bitch needs to take her meds" - that is NOT ok.

OP posts:
LRDtheFeministDragon · 27/10/2013 22:18

I agree. And also with worra re ASD.

WorraLiberty · 27/10/2013 22:19

Yes I agree about context.

I think it's ok to refer to something driving me mental/nuts/mad but I would never refer to someone else as mental.

Oddly enough, I do refer to some of my friends affectionately, as mad or nuts though?

Itsjustafleshwound · 27/10/2013 22:19

It is a bit like a man asking an angry woman if she is pre-menstraul

BackOnlyBriefly · 27/10/2013 22:20

I personally don't like that expression and would be happy never to hear it again. I get why it bothers you. Saying they don't mean people like you (or like me) won't help will it.

But all the debates about words that are unacceptable encounter the same problem. That the same argument can be used about any derogatory word you do use.

If you have ever said anything even mildly insulting to someone then you've almost certainly used a word that means mentally or physically deficient.

Saying "don't be stupid" to someone sounds mild doesn't it, but means "low intelligence or poor learning abilities". Put like that it doesn't sound like a word we should be using does it.

Oh and agree with you, LEMisafucker, that context makes a difference.

NicolaSeven · 27/10/2013 22:24

Hm. Not really bothered by it. More bothered by the sideways sympathetic head-tilt that I get whenever MH issues are discussed on a general, non personal level. No one ever did that before I came out (as it were).

General, non-specific use of the term 'mental' wouldn't offend me. Direct teasing of someone whose MH issues are debilitating would.

HappyHarpy · 27/10/2013 22:24

YANBU.

KissesBreakingWave · 27/10/2013 22:26

SeaSickSal, that's like black folks and the n-word. We're allowed.