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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Mum's nickname for my unborn baby really pisses me off

172 replies

Jolleigh · 26/10/2013 21:32

Mum is calling the baby 'peanut'. I'm nearly 19 weeks and she's done it since 5 weeks despite knowing it annoys me. In fact, since she was told (by me) just how much it's annoying me, she's made a point of doing it more and insists she's not going to call the baby by its name after it's born, but call it peanut instead.

I'm pretty sure I'm being hormonal and precious. But it feels like she's disrespecting me (though if you asked me why, I'd definitely not be able to tell you) and I want to scream whenever I hear it. It's not even as if my own pet name for the baby is particularly complimentary...it's Alien

Anyone else had this or able to shed any light on why it annoys me quite so much?

Or possibly able to talk me into not hating it?

OP posts:

Original poster

Jolleigh · 28/10/2013 13:53

Thank you Eldritch

2tired - I'm certainly not posting about the biggest worry in my life right now as there are certain things I need to work through myself and that can't be helped by gathering opinions. This is an irritation that I'd hoped to get some advice on. I received a lot of advice from some very helpful people who did seem to understand that this isn't the be all and end all of my hapiness. I've received some playful but effective suggestions, which are the ones I've used and appear to be working.

OP posts:

DevilsRoulette · 28/10/2013 13:58

Why do you think that? You can have some really serious bad stuff to deal with and still find time for a trivial fear/worry/concern too.

My grandad had a moan about leaves one day.

a fortnight later his terminal cancer carried him off.

People in any situation can have a range of things that occupy them, from the most serious to the most trivial. You can be facing homelessness and be pissed off about milk. You can be in the middle of a painful divorce and hit the roof about someone leaving the top off the toothpaste.

In fact, sometimes it is when you have the most serious troubles that you get most angry about minor things.

I don't think it's kind to do the whole 'is this all you've got to worry about' routine. Nobody should be dismissed.

appletarts · 28/10/2013 14:05

You don't have to justify to a bunch of strangers why something is upsetting you, I think some people just come on here for a bit of a goady fight. You don't need to justify yourself here any more than you need to justify to your mum that no means no. Be prepared for her to carry on silly nonsense once baby is born such as feeding baby what you asked her not to, dressing baby in what you asked her not to and hopefully not refusing to answer your calls when she's looking after baby for you as she has parental rights in your absence....yep happened to me! Frigging nutter!

2tiredtoScare · 28/10/2013 14:05

Is AIBU usually 'kind'?

EldritchCleavage · 28/10/2013 14:07

No, but your lack of kindness seems so especially pointless.

2tiredtoScare · 28/10/2013 14:08

You don't have to ask 'a bunch of strangers' in the first place though do you appletarts?

Original poster

Jolleigh · 28/10/2013 14:08

2tired - I've seen plenty of light hearted posts in AIBU

OP posts:

2tiredtoScare · 28/10/2013 14:08

Yes it is pointless I agree with you there

DropYourSword · 28/10/2013 14:10

2tired There's no requisite that you have to be mean on AIBU!

Original poster

Jolleigh · 28/10/2013 14:11

Sounds like you had a bit of a battle with yours too Apple!

Apologies for trying to justify myself...some of the recent posts have made me think I'm coming across as a complete cow rather than just someone venting and asking advice.

OP posts:

2tiredtoScare · 28/10/2013 14:11

Oh shit

2tiredtoScare · 28/10/2013 14:14

I don't think you are a complete cow just thought your mum might be totally confused as to why something so seemingly innocent upset you so much and don't think it's worth falling out over but as others have pointed out I don't know the rest of your circumstances

bootsycollins · 28/10/2013 14:19

Bottom line is why would you purposely continue to piss off your pregnant daughter?. Not good all round. I'd just start calling her Dennis Jolleigh

Original poster

Jolleigh · 28/10/2013 14:26

bootsy - I christened her Boris

OP posts:

bootsycollins · 28/10/2013 14:27

Bahahahaha! That'll learn her

Original poster

Jolleigh · 28/10/2013 14:30

The full effects of my evil plan will only come to fruition when the baby is talking. Mum would like to be 'nana' but shall be 'grandma' if it's the last thing I do! (unless of course this truly is the last I see of Peanut...in which case I'll probably let her off )

OP posts:

Beastofburden · 28/10/2013 14:33

My mum has always said (thankfully only to me) that a grandchild from my brother isn't the same because it's my SIL who will have carried it, not a blood relative.

Very, very weird. My MIL only had boys, so I was spared that, but it is true that I cant feel towards her as i do towards my own mother on doing the "all girls together" thing.

I am sure she feels the same. One of her earliest gifts to me was a spare videocassette on "coping with your menopause", which given I was newly married and had not yet had the DGC, was both and way, way TMI about my MIL.

Beastofburden · 28/10/2013 14:37

2tired I most certainly wouldn't post about my most pressing thing.

Much as I love MN, some things are too serious or personal to expose to the internet. That doesn't mean I wouldn't like a little lighthearted support on a "so daft it's funny" thing that family do. It's an understood social convention- we expose a small vulnerability to show trust and make people like us, but we don't expose our worst and most vulnerable moments.

I will go so far as to say that when people do expose their very worst problems, I think that is not a very healthy sign in them.

2tiredtoScare · 28/10/2013 14:45

Fair enough. Still think YABU

WoTmania · 28/10/2013 14:58

Bit late to the thread but YANBU - you've asked her to stop so she started doing it more and has said she'll carry on once your baby is born. So total lack of respect for your feelings and now she's got other people saying it too.

This is the type of thing my family does. If I say something upsets or annoys me they do it more and if I say nothing and get quietly upset they then say I should have told them. Can't bloody win!

thebody · 28/10/2013 16:47

gosh just can't understand the comments that a sons child means Jess to you than a daughters child.

that's so twisted its mental.

my mil had 3 daughters and treated me like a fourth which is how I aim to treat my future dils.

I hope that my dds will get in with their sils.

that's family how it should be.

glad it's getting sorted op. in life seemingly trivial things to others can be huge to another.

thebody · 28/10/2013 16:48

gosh just can't understand the comments that a sons child means less to you than a daughters child.

that's so twisted its mental.

my mil had 3 daughters and treated me like a fourth which is how I aim to treat my future dils.

I hope that my dds will get in with their sils.

that's family how it should be.

glad it's getting sorted op. in life seemingly trivial things to others can be huge to another.

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