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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mum's nickname for my unborn baby really pisses me off

172 replies

Jolleigh · 26/10/2013 21:32

Mum is calling the baby 'peanut'. I'm nearly 19 weeks and she's done it since 5 weeks despite knowing it annoys me. In fact, since she was told (by me) just how much it's annoying me, she's made a point of doing it more and insists she's not going to call the baby by its name after it's born, but call it peanut instead.

I'm pretty sure I'm being hormonal and precious. But it feels like she's disrespecting me (though if you asked me why, I'd definitely not be able to tell you) and I want to scream whenever I hear it. It's not even as if my own pet name for the baby is particularly complimentary...it's Alien Blush

Anyone else had this or able to shed any light on why it annoys me quite so much?

Or possibly able to talk me into not hating it?

OP posts:
bail16 · 27/10/2013 02:42

When we told my mum our chosen name for unborn daughter, she decided she didn't like it so shortened the name to a very boy sounding name (probably to put us off using the name). She kept saying this is what I'll call her when she's here too. So I said we'd just call her 'fool'.
So each time she said it that's what I called her. And when my 2 yr old niece started called her it too she didn't like it at all and soon stopped!

themaltesefalcon · 27/10/2013 04:15

Stupid nicknames for unborn children are so fucking naff. Argh!

zipzap · 27/10/2013 04:32

I'd do as suggested and everytime she mentions or texts about peanut I'd just respond by saying that peanutsoesnt exist. First couple of times I'd be mean and not mention immediately that alien is doing fine.

I'd also get dp/dh to have a word and ask her why she thinks it is appropriate to be causing such stress and upset to you while you are pg - not only the fact that you keep calling it peanut which she should know you hate as you've told her often enough - and then the fact that she has told you lots of times so she is now worried her own mother is losing her marbles and that you are forgetting that you've had this conversation already or that you are doing it deliberately to be mean, both of which are potentially signs of dementia setting in. And shes reallly stressed about the thought of having to cope with that at the same time as having a new baby. All done in a very nice and concerned way - maybe it will embarrass her into stopping or realising that she is causing you com

zipzap · 27/10/2013 04:35

Doh. Not sure how the post button was hit just then. Oops.

Trying to say that realising she is causing you completely unnecessay stress that isn't good for you or alien will help her to come around...

vtechjazz · 27/10/2013 05:44

"A peanut is not a nut, it is, in fact...a legume!".....and you can respond to every peanut query with a fun fact from this helpful page.

FairOfFaceButFullOfWoe · 27/10/2013 08:35

YANBU! My IL's have done this (it was cute/funny at first but now it's annoying!). My fiancé and I kind of stumbled on our own nickname for the baby and they get really irritated when we use our name and insist on correcting us every time! It's OUR baby and we'll call it whatever we want ffs! Hmm

Doinmummy · 27/10/2013 08:45

You might be a bit young to remember the peanut advert.

IIRC a man shouted Peeeeeeeeeanuts they're jungle fresh

Id shout that at her every time she says peanut. Grin

DropYourSword · 27/10/2013 08:51

...is this some pregnancy hormone thing I just don't get because I haven't had a baby yet...

To my utter astonishment, I agree with Curlew for I think the first time ever on a thread!!

moominleigh94 · 27/10/2013 08:54

I'm involved in a bump name war at the moment. DP insists it's Squirtle, DM insists it's Squiggle and DF insists it's "Ozzie" (apparently it's doing the rock on symbol in the scan)

I've just been calling it baby, and my classmates call it whatever fruit it is that week Grin although I must admit I do like Ozzie .

Just ignore her - her behaviour is childish and actually seems a little bit controlling; is it possible that she's jealous?

happyscouse · 27/10/2013 09:07

Another one in support of Curlew here... thought I was going mad til I got to that post. It's an overexcited grandma to be using a mildly irritating nickname! to those saying cut contact do you honestly think that would be in ops best interests?

Original poster
Jolleigh · 27/10/2013 09:19

Morning!

Thanks for all the replies while I was asleep. I'm on my phone but will try to reply to some shortly.

I'm very surprised at just how many people agree with me! I'd thought general consensus would have been telling me to stop being so touchy about it all Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
Jolleigh · 27/10/2013 09:24

bootsy - I honestly have no idea why anyone would do something to deliberately annoy a pregnant woman! Seems like a daft thing to do really considering all the hormones and the potential that it would upset more than intended. Confused

OP posts:
Original poster
Jolleigh · 27/10/2013 09:24

(Though I'm loving the explanation APartridge gave Grin )

OP posts:
Original poster
Jolleigh · 27/10/2013 09:28

Justalilmummy - I don't get have a decent bump, but already have my response for belly rubbing lined up for any arse that doesn't check it's ok...

Back off, I'm a pregnant woman, not the bloody blarney stone! trundles off to check the spelling of blarney

OP posts:
Firsttimer7259 · 27/10/2013 09:28

I think peanut is cute but that's not the point the point is that she's disregarding your express requests regarding your child and imposing her agenda. That is nasty and u would be annoyed

Original poster
Jolleigh · 27/10/2013 09:30

moomin - I actually really like squirtle Grin

OP posts:
DontmindifIdo · 27/10/2013 09:31

I agree don't answer at all if she says peanut. Not a "there's no peanut here" or any amusing or clever answer, say nothing. If it's to your face, just blank her. Texts, just delete. If she's on the phone, I'd be tempted to hang up. She'll learn, if she calls back and asks why you hung up, say "you know". Again, if she says peanut, hang up again. If she asks if you got her text, say "yes." She might think you are being silly, but she knows what to do if she wants to be part of your life, stop calling the baby peanut, it's not tricky.

You just have to be more stubbon than she is. You are pregnant, you have the ability to be a much bigger cowbag than her!

Original poster
Jolleigh · 27/10/2013 09:36

happy, Curlew & DropYourSword - I was under the impression more people would be in your camp. Though you're definitely right in that it's not worth severing contact over. She genuinly is over excited as well as being a wind up merchant. I don't mind it occasionally. I just need her to stop making quite so big a point of rubbing it under my nose. Angry

OP posts:
DropYourSword · 27/10/2013 09:40

I know right...but because so many people think this is actually normal I'm now just worried when I get pregnant that I'LL BE EXACTLY LIKE THIS TOO!!

Original poster
Jolleigh · 27/10/2013 09:44

Grin I'm assuming it's quite common for baby associated things to annoy the pregnant women so much, as a lot of people agree with me. Though I can't say for sure as it's my first and I'm not used to being quite so annoyed at something that in the grand scheme of things is quite minor.

Mum has always done things like this. Because she's a cow bag. It's never grated on me quite this much before, so the thing that's changed must be me.

OP posts:
SharpLily · 27/10/2013 09:48

I've known people who've named their bumps Peanut, but they've only been really, really chavvy types. You could ask her if she's angling for you to call Jeremy Kyle on her behalf?

MsVestibule · 27/10/2013 09:55

I'd be seriously pissed off with this, too. If she just 'forgot' and dropped it into conversation occasionally, fair enough, but to do it frequently and deliberately is baffling. It's the way I would expect a 9yo to behave when winding up a sibling, not a mother towards her daughter, pregnant or not Confused.

I wouldn't cut off all contact, but would definitely ignore all references to it and hopefully she'll stop. Eventually. Do you have a close relationship with her normally? Do you see her a lot?

ilovebabytv · 27/10/2013 09:59

Its a nickname. A fucking nickname. For a baby thats not even born yet. And shes not asking you to call it peanut. This is perhaps her special grandma/granchild bond thing. Suggestions of cutting contact. Some people really need to get a grip.

Original poster
Jolleigh · 27/10/2013 10:00

Sharp - that just might work! She has a serious aversion to being lumped in with the great unwashed Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
Jolleigh · 27/10/2013 10:05

MsVestibule - we speak daily and see each other weekly so I'd say we're quite close yeah. So really, I'm looking to find a response that pisses her off equally rather than at disowning her for irritating me while pregnant Grin

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