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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mum's nickname for my unborn baby really pisses me off

172 replies

Jolleigh · 26/10/2013 21:32

Mum is calling the baby 'peanut'. I'm nearly 19 weeks and she's done it since 5 weeks despite knowing it annoys me. In fact, since she was told (by me) just how much it's annoying me, she's made a point of doing it more and insists she's not going to call the baby by its name after it's born, but call it peanut instead.

I'm pretty sure I'm being hormonal and precious. But it feels like she's disrespecting me (though if you asked me why, I'd definitely not be able to tell you) and I want to scream whenever I hear it. It's not even as if my own pet name for the baby is particularly complimentary...it's Alien Blush

Anyone else had this or able to shed any light on why it annoys me quite so much?

Or possibly able to talk me into not hating it?

OP posts:
Alexandrite · 26/10/2013 21:58

I did call dd1 peanuts when she was in utero. I think I had read in one of those week by week pregnancy books that she was the size of a peanut at a certain number of weeks, so i got it from that.

ChasedByZombees · 26/10/2013 21:59

I'd ignore her every time she texted about peanut. And ensure you correct any family. It would really annoy me but she is not creating your child's identity. Only your child can do that (speaking as a parent to a wilful 2 year old!)

If it upsets you this much now though it will be worse when the baby comes out if she keeps doing it. I can't imagine you'd want her around as much and it could make your relationship strained. Every time she says it, pull her up on it. An icy, "I've told you I don't like that name. It's really disrespectful to continue using it" should do it, unless she's doing it for your reaction?

Original poster
Jolleigh · 26/10/2013 21:59

I quite like the name little chimp Smile

OP posts:
sandtimerhalfempty · 26/10/2013 22:00

maybe she is doing it because she hates you referring to it as alien!

Original poster
Jolleigh · 26/10/2013 22:01

Serial - I may genuinly take that suggestion. That is sheer brilliance.

The daft thing is, if she didn't make quite so big a point of doing it, I'd ignore it.

But it's MY Alien. Not her frigging peanut.

OP posts:
Original poster
Jolleigh · 26/10/2013 22:03

Cherries - she unfortunately wouldn't care about the cock reference Confused

OP posts:
LadyKatherine · 26/10/2013 22:03

How about this:
Jolleighs mum; how's peanut?

Jolleigh; salty, i'l get the dry roasted next time... Grin

do not respond to any queries about 'peanut' and just answer any other questions as normal. she only gets info on how her grandchild is developing/you are feeling once she stops referring to it by that name.

MakeHayIsAWhaleNow · 26/10/2013 22:03

Peanut wouldn't bother me, but if it bothers you, you have told her and she carries on then she is BU and very disrespectful. Try all of the above....

Dh banned me from calling unborn dc1 "spawn".... So I didn't in his hearing .

Original poster
Jolleigh · 26/10/2013 22:05

Looking - it's great to find a way to actually word it and that it would be maddening to someone else too. Thank you Thanks

OP posts:
LadyKatherine · 26/10/2013 22:05

That is brilliant MakeHayIsAWhaleNow, i'm so calling my next dc spawn.

YoureAllABunchOfBastards · 26/10/2013 22:05

Mine were known as Kidney Bean and Plum, but took on their own names the second they were born!

Original poster
Jolleigh · 26/10/2013 22:07

MakeHay - just nearly cried at Spawn!

OP posts:
YourMaNoBraBackOfMyCar · 26/10/2013 22:13

Aww I'd rather Peanut than The Accident. My mum is lucky I forgave her.

TerrorTremor · 26/10/2013 22:13

My Mum called DD peanut from about 12 weeks onwards after seeing the scan.

I preferred it a lot to Pigeon, which is what she previously called her.

It's not exactly offensive is it. If it was little shitface I could see your point, but who is it actually hurting?

I know you find it annoying but just ignore it. Chances are she thinks you're being jokey about hating it so much and she's being playful and mentioning it to wind you up. So in that extent, you're making it so much easier for her.

Just shrug and let it pass. I imagine she'll get bored of it.

If not, think of your own name to call it. One that she really doesn't like [except little shitface, so not cool] like thumper or jackhammer or something... I have no idea.

Sparkletshirt · 26/10/2013 22:15

That's a bit passive aggressive of her. Is she worried about being called a granny and being old? I would relentless take the mickey anyway, just in case, every time she says it. Something like 'You can't pretend you're not passed it now, can you eh?', or 'It must be sad being a dinosaur. When you wear make up? You just look like a T-rex with lipstick on now....' 'You won't be running around after him or her with your hips will you?'

That's really mean she's stressing you out while you're pregnant.

HappyHalloweenMollyHooper · 26/10/2013 22:15

DH and I were very cringe worthy when I was pregnant with DS2, but only in secret.

We would read each week what fruit/vegetable DS was the same size as and call him that. Like "Aww, little figgy" or "How's the little turnip this morning?" Blush

Please don't boak, we didn't inflict it upon others...

OP it wouldn't annoy me, it's really very harmless IMO. However if it really does bother you then she should stop.

Just don't tell her about the fruit/vegetable thing or she will do that instead.

Sparkletshirt · 26/10/2013 22:17

relentlessly take the mickey.

KCumberSandwich · 26/10/2013 22:17

leave the room every time she does it. if she texts you ignore it. hang up the phone. she'll soon get fed up of only managing half a conversation with you.

if it was me i'd probably start pinching her but that's not for everyone Grin

Original poster
Jolleigh · 26/10/2013 22:18

Sparkle - she's been begging for a grandchild for many years (even when I was a bit young for it to be appropriate for her to do so!). So don't think it's a 'past it' type thing. I think she's just enjoying being a bleeding wind up merchant.

OP posts:
Original poster
Jolleigh · 26/10/2013 22:22

Happy - I actually already share the fruit/veg equivalent info with her in the hope she picks this up instead. No such luck Sad

OP posts:
Sparkletshirt · 26/10/2013 22:23

Well you're taking it in really good form Jolleigh. I agree with the poster that said give her your own nickname back. Old wrinkly perhaps? Gummy? Nana bananas? See how she likes it. And remind her she should not be stressing you out while you're pregnant.

bebopanddoowop · 26/10/2013 22:25

You might be being unreasonable but to be honest it would bother me, too!

We refer to ours as sesame - from when it was the size of a sesame seed, so not that dissimilar to peanut but at least we chose it.

You should say you can call it peanut anymore it's far more developed it's more like a massive orange (or alien if you prefer) Smile

HappyHalloweenMollyHooper · 26/10/2013 22:26

Oh dear, You must be desperate. :o

I really wouldn't be happy with her wanting to call the baby that when he/she is born.

Does she think it's banter? My DM doesn't quite get how banter between two people works and has pissed me off in the past attempting it.

Original poster
Jolleigh · 26/10/2013 22:28

A poster earlier in the thread suggested Twat Lips Sparkle and I'm very tempted to go with it!

OP posts:
Original poster
Jolleigh · 26/10/2013 22:29

bebop - I did try the rout of rationally explaining it's bigger now. She couldn't care less Angry

OP posts: