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Original poster

Mum's nickname for my unborn baby really pisses me off

172 replies

Jolleigh · 26/10/2013 21:32

Mum is calling the baby 'peanut'. I'm nearly 19 weeks and she's done it since 5 weeks despite knowing it annoys me. In fact, since she was told (by me) just how much it's annoying me, she's made a point of doing it more and insists she's not going to call the baby by its name after it's born, but call it peanut instead.

I'm pretty sure I'm being hormonal and precious. But it feels like she's disrespecting me (though if you asked me why, I'd definitely not be able to tell you) and I want to scream whenever I hear it. It's not even as if my own pet name for the baby is particularly complimentary...it's Alien Blush

Anyone else had this or able to shed any light on why it annoys me quite so much?

Or possibly able to talk me into not hating it?

OP posts:
Original poster
Jolleigh · 26/10/2013 22:33

Happy - I think the breaking point for me is her stating she'll continue after the birth. Just seems really twattish to me that she'd do it despite the fact that the child will have its own name then.

I suppose she could think it's banter. Crappy banter though and she must be stopped! Smile

OP posts:
Original poster
Jolleigh · 26/10/2013 22:34

KCumber - Grin at the pinching. She'd do it back though Sad

OP posts:
LadyBigtoes · 26/10/2013 22:39

Alien is OK but I initially read it as "Allen" which did seem odd.

I think you should tell her you've got so used to it you are now planning to call the baby peanut. Peanut Snickers - especially if it's a girl. Nutty for short.

QueenMedb · 26/10/2013 22:41

Console yourself that she's not calling it 'bubba' or 'bubs'.

Invent your own complex and annoying foetal nickname and say it every minute you are in her company. Or start referring to it fondly by your MIL's name (because you are planning to call it after her if it's a girl, obviously!) Or indeed the name of any family member particularly disliked by your mother...

LegoStillSavesMyLife · 26/10/2013 23:08

You can always do what I did to my father. He thought ds1 name was phoney so he called him an even ponied name.

I calmly said. "father dearest, you keep calling ds1 that and I guarentee he will grow up calling you buppy" and then hung up. The subject was never raised again. No idea why I picked buppy, it came to me in the moment.

Problem solved. Ds1 had always been called the correct name ever since.

LegoStillSavesMyLife · 26/10/2013 23:11

Poncy and poncier not phoney and ponied. Hopeless auto correct.

curlew · 26/10/2013 23:17

"
"But it's MY Alien. Not her frigging peanut."

But it is her peanut! Your alien- her peanut.

VenusDeWillendorf · 26/10/2013 23:18

Ask her if she wants a relationship with you or your child!

Tell her she's not going the right way about ensuring that she does.

Don't call her for a few weeks, and don't answer any texts or calls from her.

If she ever says peanut again, repeat as above.

She'll get the message.

My mother did the same thing, except she called my DC "her" favourite name for months and months. In fact she only saw DC a few times for the first year until she stopped. She was being a right ass about it.

It wasn't worth the stress to me to be continually undermined and disrespected , so I cut contact if she kept poking me with her stick.

I don't regret playing hard ball with her, and it got her out of my hair also, when she had an opinion about how I was going wrong about anything and everything anyway.

I feel for you OP. and hope everything goes splendidly with you and your little babe.

SleepOhHowIMissYou · 26/10/2013 23:25

We called our daughter Peanut throughout my pregnancy. The named started from my husband moaning about me ordering him about with my feet up during the early term morning sickness; "Awww, is it hard work carrying that peanut around all day?"

It was going to be her middle name! Luckily we came to our senses before we got to the Registrar!

Original poster
Jolleigh · 26/10/2013 23:29

Venus - I couldn't threaten with less contact. It would absolutely crush her Sad

Then again, we're relatively close and see each other every week. So it might be a disproportionate punishment given those circumstances.

OP posts:
curlew · 26/10/2013 23:31

"Don't call her for a few weeks, and don't answer any texts or calls from her."

Jesus wept- oven a loving nickname??

I'm glad I don't live in your world!

ChippingInNeedsANYFUCKER · 26/10/2013 23:39

But it's my first baby and I'm struggling to connect with the bump while she's the one who's creating its identity

Jesus, I just read that back and it definitely sounds hormonal

It is the first thing that has actually made me laugh out loud all day Grin

^^ That is ridiculous - and you know it!!

You bonding with your baby has nothing to do with anyone else, nothing at all.

Your mother sounds really 'odd' and actually not very nice. I don't understand why any Mum would do something like that?! So, you either need to get her told firmly or just let it wash over you and stop allowing her headspace. It's your Alien, not her Peanut - no matter what she calls it or how annoying she is being.

... and a word of warning - Do not tell her any real names until it's born & named - she will spoil them for you I'm sure :(

enriquetheringbearinglizard · 26/10/2013 23:56

I speak as the mother of grown daughters. Your mother's just being rude.
That is all.

Original poster
Jolleigh · 27/10/2013 00:13

Nail on the head I think enrique

OP posts:
Original poster
Jolleigh · 27/10/2013 00:16

Chipping - I think seeing myself writing tripe like that, I actually managed to talk myself down a bit from my rage!

Think I'll be having the Twat Lips talk with her Grin just to counterbalance her rudeness!

And most definitely will not be sharing names if it can be helped.

OP posts:
Idocrazythings · 27/10/2013 00:22

I had to tell my DM that she was now the grandmother not the mother and she backed off a bit. She's still very full on though. I get it, it's not about the name itself but that she's naming it. Try and tell her straight up, you feel horm

Idocrazythings · 27/10/2013 00:26

Oops posted too soon, mums net seems different lately on the iPhone,
Hormonal and she's hurting your feelings by labelling your baby, when it's for you to do. My dm decided she would call dd "precious". And I didn't like it. She was my firstborn and I didn't want anyone else giving her a nickname. Maybe selfish or irrational. I don't care it's how I felt. I told her no she couldn't it made me think of her as gollom! Lucky she got the message.

ChippingInNeedsANYFUCKER · 27/10/2013 00:30

What do you mean 'if it can be helped'??

You are about to become a Mum, it's time to grow up (meant in the nicest possible way!!), you are going to have to stand up for your child a lot - consider this early practice!!

The only answer to 'So what you going to call it' is 'we haven't decided yet, we'll let you know when we have had the baby and named it!!' :)

This is your baby - no-one can 'make' you do anything!

Original poster
Jolleigh · 27/10/2013 00:42

Ha! Nope, I'm not 15.

Not explaining myself very well...I've been debating giving her a string of loads of names I know she'll hate, claiming each in turn is genuinly what we're planning on until I can no longer keep my face straight. But can only really do that once DP and I have settled on them.

I've told her I'm going to name a boy Athelstan but she laughed right away so I need to get more subtle Wink

OP posts:
FrightNightcirCurse · 27/10/2013 01:43

It's just not her place to give a nickname to your baby. She needs to step out of the spotlight and realise she is gran not mum or dad.

It annoys you as she is being alpha where your baby is concerned.

justalilmummy · 27/10/2013 01:51

I called mine baby bean
Could be worse, u could have the mil rubbing your belly at every possible opportunity saying how's my baby...back off lady!
Congratulations btw Smile

prissyenglisharriviste · 27/10/2013 01:00

My first was known as fergus (c/o a friend) second was champ (yeah, thanks dad) and third was either princess or precious (dad again - I had to choke down bile every time I heard it, but whatever).

I moved abroad. Wink

Ours were alien baby 1,2 and 3 between ourselves. I'm slightly nonplussed that people actually argue with their relatives over what said relatives call the bump. Weird. I just eye rolled and changed the subject.

Dad did try shortening the boy child's name once. We just steadfastly referred to him by his name and all nn's and contractions and diminutives went away...

ColderThanAWitchsTitty · 27/10/2013 01:14

he even texts several times a day saying 'how's peanut?' I don't want to piss on her chips because this is her first grandchild

What Peanut? No peanut here. Literally don't respond until she refers to it as baby. or alien .or fetus.

. Don't respond op, she is doing it to wind you up and it an annoying PA thing to do.

bootsycollins · 27/10/2013 01:26

I don't understand why anyone would intentionally annoy a pregnant woman Confused

APartridgeAmongThePigeons · 27/10/2013 01:32

Because some people are knobs bootsy they were probably born that way.....

sat next to you in school just being knobish then grew up..

got jobs annoyed their colleagues......

got married had children and wound them up too

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