To be pissed off DP went to a strip club....

[NancyShrew]

When I made it perfectly clear I'd be annoyed about it.

DP doesn't seem to find it an issue and I'm fuming. He wanted to go to a strip club to "see what it's like", I said I wasn't happy and we'd discuss it at a later date.

He went anyway on a works night out last night, but apparently it's fine because it wasn't an enjoyable experience.

My dad and my uncle worked on the doors of a lap dancing bar for a while and got zero tips, one girl tried to but my dad refused to take it.

pigsmummy - would you object though if your DP slipped into the back room with one of the strippers for a private dance??

In the club I went to there wasn't a back room. Most outrageous thing was a dancer offering me a line of coke as we chatted in the loo.

There's a distinction between fact and opinion. Not that this should need pointing out. All this, oh these are just your opinions...is rubbish. These are factual experiences that unless you have worked for extended periods of time as a dancer, no amount of "interviews" or "research" will even come close too.

So you pretty much are dismissing anything I say as I can't possibly be informed enough and that isn't selective reading it is what you have written. I think I'm through with all this, whatever anyone says to you, you just come back and respond unpleasantly and we are all supposed to thank YOU for your input because 'all hail the lap dancer.' You just danced for a living, naked. It doesn't make you better than everyone else although this seems to be the way you respond.

Example:
JoinYP.....Christ, you make me absolutely die. Can you read? Because the fact I've already addressed everything you keep incorrectly harping on about makes me wonder if you can see the rest of the thread. You sound very well informed. Thank you for making me laugh.

Are you for real? Even other posters are pulling you up for it. Be done then. Because now you're just coming out with stuff so off on a tangent to suit your thoughts that it's too ridiculous to discuss.

You don't come across as stupid, are you one of those people that deliberately "misunderstands" what someone else says for shits and giggles?

Here - did we find out how he reacted to the handbag?

I thought that was a work of genius.

The handbag thing cracked me up a lot! I wouldn't be so gutsy!
And no, you're not being unreasonable.
If he didn't know how upset you'd be and he got swept along with his mates, fair enough I would say forgive and move on.

But he DID know you'd be upset and he not only attended but also was interested enough to buy a private dance.
That's different. I wouldn't say It's a deal breaker but I would say definite grounds to be pissed and definitely grounds for making him grovel.

I have only skim read the thread including Sugar's comments-I agree they're not the issue of the thread subject but I'll join in.

I still work as a stripper.
I am not as high an earner as Sugar, but I do earn a good living from it , I do it for the free time it provides me-I like to earn enough money in two nights, as opposed to it taking a 40 hour week for the equivalent £.

I hold a Master's degree and am from a good background. I don't do the job because I am desperate or feel I have to.
I've worked in high class clubs, and dives, and everything in between.

I work alongside some very intelligent women, some with prestigious fulltime jobs who do it for a bit of extra cash or because they like the club atmosphere or both.

Also some younger women who like the fact that it gives them money whilst they're at college, without having to work a lot of hours.
I do not ever feel exploited. I went into the industry with my eyes open.

My partner quite often comes to the clubs when I am working, to travel home with me and if he isn't doing anything else that night. He buys private dances on occasion. I honestly do not mind at all.

SugarHut do you still feel that the 'ugly' girls who did extras are 'whores', or do you think that is wrong to judge?

"as for being tarts, it's quite the opposite."]

How is accepting payment for taking your clothes off and providing sexual services "the opposite" of being a tart?

I mean if you must use language like that about women, surely with your incredible lapdancer's IQ, you must be able to see that accepting money for getting naked is on the same spectrum of "being a tart" as penetrative sex.

I feel that girls that do extras are whores. They weren't necessarily hellishly ugly. They just weren't attractive enough to compete on looks. One could have a really pretty face but be in bad shape, for example. And in a club, you are judged solely on your appearance. And there are some simply stunning girls. (Are we still fucking banging on about the ugly thing, I think a primary school child could have grasped that it's NOT that ugly people are whores, and not what I even said, I'm getting a little tired of repeating this, either bother your arses to read it properly, or stop asking the same thing)

A woman that receives cash and then allows herself to be licked, sucked, fingered, sometimes more, to me is a whore/hooker whatever you want to call it. The dirty dancers would often take money in the club to then go back to a guys hotel. That to me is being a whore. I fail to see why that's judging. I don't think bad of them for doing it, but it would annoy me that if they wanted to behave like that, they should sod off to those venues that provide those services, it would annoy me that the club would get a bad reputation as a whore house, when half of us were nothing of the sort, but calling a spade a spade, they were whoring. Nothing judgy, they were.

There is a massive difference from the dirty dancers, to receiving money, then the guy sitting on his hands, and being no more involved than in an observational sense.

'with your incredible lapdancer's IQ'

JoinYourPlayfuckers was that really necessary?

SugarHut no need to be so rude and insulting, I never said that you had said ALL ugly people are whores. I did actually read your posts, I recommend you read mine before comparing me to a primary school child

Being a stripper doesn't make you a 'tart'

Fucking hell.

And dancing for someone isn't the same as letting them insert their penis into you.

JYP, you're having to really grasp at straws now. Bless you. I know you struggle reading most of the post because it shoots you down in flames, but remember that bit about me being a Chartered Accountant, go on, try super duper hard, well yes I do have high IQ. As do many of the other girls I worked with. What a bitter individual you are. Luffly hugs, your way.

Provide sexual services. Lol, what a dick. (Pun absolutely intended) Yep, because sitting around naked in front of someone, who's sitting on their hands, with a CCTV camera watching them, for 3 minutes. Well yes, that's my usual shag with my DP.

More hugs x x x

I was merely asking if your opinion had changed. Clearly not, if you're using such degrading language to describe fellow women.

the clean/dirty dichotomy is clearly a very important mechanism for maintaining a sense of self esteem when working in the adult entertainment industry.

I wonder where in the hierarchy you would place porn actresses, dominatrix work and webcam girls Sugar?

And any particular reason my opinion should have changed? And clearly not because another poster is acting like a buffoon?

I'm lost on your reasoning. Must be my lapdancer's IQ.

Wow. You're very defensive for someone so self assured. I never insulted your intelligence, in fact I defended it. Now I'm not so sure. Go aim your ill-placed malice else-where, I was only trying to ask a question.

Lol at important mechanism. We shall twist and make this into something it's not if it kills us. I'm telling you now, it's fact. Nothing to do with self esteem. It's how the clubs work. Segregating ourselves from dancers who would essentially prostitute, was nothing to do with self esteem. I love how you talk with such conviction and no experience.

Porn, dominatrix work, webcam....nothing to do with dancing. Not my area of experience, I really couldn't tell you anything about those industries, or how the girls view each other.

Different environments, different professions, you can't really compare them. I suppose if I were to apply a very simplistic view of the categories, I would say webcam girls were not too dissimilar, depending on how far they go...I've never watched one, and so have no experience of it so I really can't comment. Some other posters should consider that concept.

Honestly, not directed at you Creepy. I thought you could distinguish the bits that were...so I can't have made that very clear.

Genuine question though, why on earth would you think any opinion of mine would have altered? Some posters are interested and having a debate about it, and I'm happy to answer questions. Some are just selective reading, performing a "Chinese whisper" exercise then acting like dicks. Some want to know what happened to OP!!! Lol.

Why would any of that make the slightest bit of difference?

"'with your incredible lapdancer's IQ'

JoinYourPlayfuckers was that really necessary?"

I just find it amusing how I never ever hear anyone who is a lapdancer not make a big massive point about how clever they are.

As if that has anything to do with anything.

But I suppose my incredible distaste for this hateful woman and her disdain for the women who do the same job as her made me say something that implies I think ALL lapdancers are stupid and crass.

Which I don't.

"Yep, because sitting around naked in front of someone, who's sitting on their hands, with a CCTV camera watching them, for 3 minutes. "

Yes, that is, by definition, a sexual service.

The fact that you do other things with your partner is hardly surprising.

Or unusual for prostitutes.

I meant, had your opinion of the women who performed extras changed since you stopped working at the clubs. Maybe life experience changed your outlook or your opinion changed since being out of the environment where there was an 'us versus them' attitude, or maybe you felt sorry for them as maybe they felt they had no choice. But if you still view them as 'whores' then fair dos, that is your opinion.

Why do you define that as a sexual service? Nudity must mean sex?... Because most don't.

Do you not see how you're making yourself look stupid? "You do other things with your partner. Hardly surprising. Or unusual for prostitutes."

And there you have it.

Damn right sweetheart. What I do with my partner is OTHER stuff. The stuff that prostitutes would do. Not clean dancers. Thank you for that little gem.

Ohhhh, I see what you mean now Creepy. No, my opinion hasn't changed since stopping. In my eyes, when a woman takes money and then does what the dirty dancers did, that's whoring. It's prostitution. And I have no problem with hookers, it's their life choice, but I did have a problem back then that I would get labelled as a hooker because we all got tarred with their behavioural brush so to speak. I would class a dirty dancer as a whore in the same way I would class a hooker as a whore. And I don't mean that as "ooh you dirty filthy slutty whore" I mean it in quite a factual way.

Did I feel sorry for them. Hmmmm. That's very tough to say. They sort of had no choice, they would have still made a little bit of money if they clean danced, but not the money they were making for doing extras. Maybe I felt a little sorry that they had to do those things, but to be honest, they seemed fine with doing it. Maybe they enjoyed it even? Maybe they felt sorry for me doing my routine like a robot?

I define it a sexual service because that is what is being paid for - sexual arousal.

They're not paying because they think you're a good dancer and think they will get a better view of your tendons and muscles doing their work if you are unclothed.

They are paying for you to get naked because your "dance" is a performance specifically, and entirely, designed to sexually arouse them.

Sometimes nudity doesn't mean sex.

But when a woman is being paid to take her clothes off so a man can get a hard on, then nudity means sex.