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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be pretty uncomfortable with home circumcision

578 replies

EastofEast · 20/10/2013 20:31

We get on very well with our neighbours and are pretty close but I was a bit shocked today, one of those moments where you find you really have opposing views on something quite fundamental.

Neighbour has a (gorgeous) two week old boy. She knocked on the door earlier to return my car keys (went to get a new battery for hers in my car) and I mentioned her new ds was unsettled for the first time ever; joking maybe he wasn't the perfect baby after all. My baby is demanding much more vocal about her needs. She said it was because he was circumcised today. I must have looked a little put off, I don't agree with it at all, as she then said 'oh he's doing really well. We were lucky the doctor came to house to do this one, all the others had to go to a clinic'. I was stunned, I'm amazed you're allowed to do such a thing at home in such an unregulated way. Frankly I wouldn't allow any deliberate harm to come to a child that wasn't medically necessary, but considering some people do do it I thought the rules would be tighter. We're both from (different) backgrounds which circumcise, although I refused to change my son, and I knew she'd do it after a related chat about whether fgm was that bad over a coffee one day but it's still upset me a bit the way it's done. The poor little thing is grumpy with loads of adults around to celebrate the event passing him round and round at 8.30pm.

I know the circumcision vs no circumcision has been done already, and not everyone shares my strong views, but at home? Should this be ok? I can't think of other similar procedures happening in a similar environment.

OP posts:

CoteDAzur · 20/10/2013 22:44

"Why not wait until they are old enough to make the decision them self."

I believe it is a much more painful process in adulthood.

I have seen several 6-8 year old boys get circumcised (yes, in front of everyone) and they didn't seem terribly bothered by it. Of course there must be some pain, but they seemed easily distracted with the clown, the party around them etc.

PrincessFlirtyPants · 20/10/2013 22:50

It's a barbaric practise no matter where it's done.

I just wish it was illegal unless absolutely medically necessary.

^^this!

PrincessFlirtyPants · 20/10/2013 22:51

I have seen several 6-8 year old boys get circumcised (yes, in front of everyone

Why on earth would anyone be watching that?!

MotheringShites · 20/10/2013 22:52

It is absolutely outrageous that parents are able to mutilate their boy child's genitals, causing pain and distress for no good medical reason. Someone explain WHY and I'll apologise. Until then I think it's just abhorrent.

FortyDoorsToNowhere · 20/10/2013 22:55

But how do people know how much pain a baby is in. A baby can not communicate.

SirChenjin · 20/10/2013 22:59

I don't care which God instructed the practice, it is barbaric, completely unnecessary and has absolutely no place in the 21st century. To turn it into a party (complete with clowns WTAF???) is sickening beyond belief.

PrincessFlirtyPants · 20/10/2013 23:01

I'm confused as to why it forms any part of a religion.

If God made the world and, therefore the human body, why would it be a religious requirement to mutilate Gods work... It makes no sense to me.

SirChenjin · 20/10/2013 23:05

Nope, nor me.

It's a good job that these religions aren't being established today - some of the things that form part of the instruction would warrant life sentences in jail for the perpetrators.

PrincessFlirtyPants · 20/10/2013 23:07

It's deeply deeply disturbing.

Actually, the fact someone would turn it into a party is just so fucking weird I can't even compute it. A child is having part of his penis cut off in front of his friends, family and coco the clown?!?!

Who accepts an invite to a party like that?!

SirChenjin · 20/10/2013 23:12

It actually makes me feel physically sick - the fact that a small boy (l've got 2 DSs...) can have part of their penis cut off without a general anaesthetic for no medical reason as what - the star attraction at a party??? - is utterly horrific.

foreverondiet · 20/10/2013 23:15

I know when my friend had her son circumcised at age 1 (done late for reasons I won't go into) the mohel insisted it was done at his doctor's surgery (he was a GP) - would only do small babies at home. I think the more relevant question to the OP is about what sort of qualifications someone needs to have to be performing the procedure in the first place - seems to be not to be that relevant whether its performed at home.

The problem with making it illegal is that its such an important part of some people's faith that they will find a way to do it, unlikely to say, oh now its illegal I just won't bother.

CoteDAzur · 20/10/2013 23:18

Princess - I realize that you can't begin to comprehend. It's ok.

It's a rite of passage. Child becomes man, it's celebrated. He dresses up like a prince, parades in the streets like newlyweds do, etc. The genitals don't show on big screen or anything.

My DS is not circumcised, btw. I'm just describing what I have seen, to say that these boys don't seem in terrible pain (without anesthetics, too) and enjoy the party in their name.

SirChenjin · 20/10/2013 23:19

Oh I'm sure that's true - unfortunately this is so ingrained in some religions that making it illegal would drive the practice underground. What is required is for religious leaders to come together and condemn the practice as outdated, unnecessary and barbaric - but I can't see that happening soon unfortunately. I just hope that it's not something that my DCs are ever faced with when they come to having children.

FortyDoorsToNowhere · 20/10/2013 23:19

So lets not bother with laws at all.

As people will always do it.

If it was made illegal it wouldn't stop all people, but many people would abide by the law.

SirChenjin · 20/10/2013 23:20

They don't seem to be in terrible pain? But pain nonetheless as the result of a completely unnecessary mutilation?

CoteDAzur · 20/10/2013 23:21

And God creating foreskin and expecting it to be cut off would be no stranger than cloning Himself in human form then killing that self in a horrific death, I suppose.

PrincessFlirtyPants · 20/10/2013 23:22

SirChenjin I couldn't agree more, it's utterly depressing.

Religion cannot be used as an acceptable reason to mutilate a child. We really should have moved on from that kind of nonsense by now.

CoteDAzur · 20/10/2013 23:23

Well, I can ask one of those boys how painful it was, if you want me to. In any case, he isn't traumatized by the experience.

SirChenjin · 20/10/2013 23:24

Agree Princess, utterly horrific. Why the practice is so blindly followed by so many in the name of 'faith' is equally horrific - this is 2013, the time to challenge the practice by the believers is long overdue.

Ericaequites · 20/10/2013 23:24

I had a great uncle who died c.1935 of syphilitic paresis. Male circumcision cuts the incidence of STIs and HIV. It became common practice in the USA afterWWI for that reason. Generations of American men have been done, and the vast majority never think about it.

SirChenjin · 20/10/2013 23:25

No, please don't bother Cote.

1944girl · 20/10/2013 23:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HappyHalloweenMollyHooper · 20/10/2013 23:28

Condoms and teaching our sons to use them is a much better way to protect them from STIs and HIV.

SirChenjin · 20/10/2013 23:28

Male circumcision cuts the incidence of STIs and HIV

Not true. Studies are inconclusive, and a quick Wiki search (rather than searching all the evidence based literature) shows why.

Stealmysunshine · 20/10/2013 23:32

Personally, I don't agree with causing any unnecessary pain to babies, or any children for that matter.

However, I think this is cultural and there are many things that happen in other cultures that others won't agree with. They are not for people outside to try and understand. If you are not part of that culture where its the norm then you will never understand.

Each to their own, it's none if your business OP.

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