To fall out with her over this and stop speaking to her

[Opalite]

This woman who I met not too long ago but have been getting on well was round at my house, my DD, the woman and I were sitting outside and part of the conversation was my DD calling her dad and DSs dad 'useless twats' and a few other things. This is when the woman started saying you shouldnt speak about your dad like that, it's disrespectful and you wouldn't be here without him and loads of other crap. I was pissed off because firstly she was in our home telling my 16 year old DD what she should and shouldn't do and secondly because DD should be allowed to say her opinion about a person...
It made me feel really uncomfortable but I didn't shout at her or anything, I just said something like 'no, she can say what she wants and she's right etc.' then I said 'we should really get ready to go out now dd' and said to her that me and dd will be busy now, bye etc

We havent known each other for too long, I do have to see her very regularly though! I am wondering if I should just tell her I don't want to have much to do with her any more OR if I'm actually being unreasonable

It's not irrelevant to the thread because that's what the woman in the OP had the issue with. Again, the woman didn't have an issue with the language used

I have never seen such pearl clutching over the word twat.

I'd be miffed OP, but I wouldn't fall out over it. I'd just tell your friend he hasn't been a great father and at 16 your dd is old enough to make up her own mind.

To those of you objecting to "Twat", could she have acceptably used the words "Helmet" or perhaps "Bell end" instead? 'Snot swearing, you know.

Swearing, used grammatically and in context is fine. Maybe it's the familiarity thing and the friend felt uncomfortable because she felt she didn't know you or your daughter well enough to have this kind of conversation.

I hope you aren't smarting too much from this AIBU, OP.

"Twat - horrible language and awful coming from a child, the 'twats' daughter in fact.

I would actually find it very offensive to be made to listen to such vile language"

Retro:

1. She's not a child. She's a young adult who is old enough in law to have a child of her own.

1. And it's not very offensive to tell someone who is old enough to have a child of their own what they may or may not say in their own home?

1. How the fuck do you cope on MN if words such as "twat" offend your sensitive soul?

My dad is a twat, which isn't a strong enough word for him in all honesty.

My mum would have gone mad if I had said the word twat though. I could say what I want about him but I just wasn't allowed to swear

I think your friend had a cheek. If anyone told me not to be disrespectful to my dad I would laugh my head off.

I would still get in trouble for using the word twat today and I am in my 30's with five children ;) Funnily enough my mum has raised three children with potty mouths, pretty sure we rebelled lol.

I would not tell off someone elses child in their own home while they are present but had I heard your dd say that, I would probably back off a bit myself to be perfectly honest

I don't think that it is a bad thing to wonder when it became OK for people (especially adolescents to be honest) to 1) swear/use language that people find offensive while in polite company 2) be derogatory about their elders in said company 3) air their dirty laundry

It just doesn't sit well with me. My dad was a complete TWAT but I would not sound off about that in front of my Mother & her friends. It would be rude to my Mother and her life choices, it would share information that perhaps my Mum did not want to be open about in front of friends and it would possibly colour peoples view of me nd my family as at 16 I knew that some people found words and actions that you would see after the watershed offensive.

I don't allow my DD (15) to swear and I curb my own bad language. I have been known to say the odd fuck/feck/shite in her presence and that is OK - it would NOT be ok for me or her to do that in front of a neighbour/elderly relative/stranger.

You can have a civil talk with her and tell her you didn't appreciate what she said to your dd. If she's a reasonable person she'll take your opinion on board.

That stuff about 'you wouldn't be here without your Dad' has always sounded like bullshit to me. Thanks Dad for getting so horny you shagged my Mum without using a contraception method. Your noble self-sacrifice just means the world to me!