to want the school to admit some responsibility

[Justforlaughs]

Phonecall from school last night. 14yo DD "stormed" away from PE lesson after minor altercation with teacher, didn't return to lesson, an hour later a pupil asks DD something and DD hits her. School want to put DD in isolation for a day. All sounds reasonable, penalty for bad behaviour - and I am not condoning it at all. HOWEVER, DD is by nature the kindest, gentlest, quietest 14 yr old you could ever imagine (won't even put up her hand to answer a question in class because she is too shy) and the ONLY time I can remember her lashing out in the last 4 years or so is when her blood sugars have dropped suddenly - you see she is a Diabetic. To me, the whole incident is typically symptomatic of a moderate/ severe hypo, and I feel strongly that the teacher should have flagged that her "storming" away from the lesson was not "normal" behaviour for DD, she should have followed her/ got first aider to find her and check that she was ok. She sat alone for an hour in corridor, where no-one knew she was before the incident with the other pupil. Not being dramatic, she could have fallen into a coma. The school now want a meeting to discuss her behaviour, so AIBU to raise my concerns. I am honestly, not trying to belittle the fact that she hit another girl, but I don't want either my DD or anyone else getting hurt because of another incident like this. I am worried that it sounds like I am excusing her behaviour, and I suppose I am in a way. WWYD?

Now I am absolutely spitting!!!
I've just received a letter from the school stating that the internal suspension/ isolation is for 5 days!! it started yesterday, and she will not be back in normal lessons all week. Her name "has been recorded on the school Disciplinary Register at stage 1" etc, etc.

None of this was said on the phone, I thought it was a 1 day thing, thank goodness she has a hospital appointment on Monday. I will be going into the school straight afterwards and insisting on seeing the head then and there, forget the meeting with Head of House on Tuesday
............. you get the drift!

Bloody Hell - don't blame you!

Clearly they don't have a clue!

Good grief!

The lack of understanding here is staggering!

How dare they punish your DD for their own failings in this way!!!

That is appalling.

Do you have a good parent partnership service in your area? If so get them on board and ask them to come to the meeting with you. They can only advise you, not act on your behalf, but their presence can make schools sit up and think sharpish.

Look up the Equality Act 2010 and make sure you're conversant with the guidance before the meeting.

Diabetes UK have an advocacy service and they may be able to phone the school in your DD's behalf.

You need to be very careful about getting this sorted clearly and in writing. If you don't get them to admit that they failed in their duty of care they may do the same again and amongst the horrible possible repercussions is that your DD could lash out again and be excluded.

Time to get your warrior mum outfit on I'm afraid.

They clearly need some training quick smart and are not anywhere near as able to meet the needs of a child with Diabetes as they made out.

Yes to looking at the Equality Act 2010 before the meeting.
As Goldmandra says it does seem as if your dd is being punished for their failings and the system they use sounds ridiculous. What if she has 3 hypo's - is she then permanently excluded?!
My ds was punished for his disability related behaviour too and it's appalling that schools can act in this way.

Rude bloody words, lots of rude words!!!!! !!

formal complaint time. Board of governors, LEA, however high this has to go.

Diab UK advocacy is a great idea, also do try the children with diabetes site / email system - sadly the total abrogation of responsibility & downright fuckwitted dogged ignorance of the wider issues the school is demonstrating is not unusual & there will be plenty of other parents who've been through similar strife who can offer advice & support. It's not fair, you shouldn't have to fight but I think you need to get stuck in & reset the numpties asap.

Incidentally, did you ever find out what the other girl did / said to your daughter? I'm not saying it's the case but for all we know there is some underlying ongoing teasing / provocation which might have contributed to your daughter's reaction - has the school considered this & if so is she being punished appropriately too, or does the school have a policy of only punishing what they see?!! (sorry, been there, had the snarky remarks about being allowed 'treats' or being a 'freak', it gets wearing...)

So sorry you & your daughter are in this situation - I'm just gobsmacked given her previous good record the school don't seem to care whether there's more to this than a teenage spat?!!! (medical, bullying, whatever- surely it woukd ring alarm bells either way?! )

I am a teacher, and we are told very clearly that we need to make 'appropriate adjustment' for any pupil with SEN in our classes and need to be able to show evidence that we are doing that. So you could ask what appropriate adjustment is being made in light of your DD's diabetes.

And in a sense, the diabetes is a bit of a red herring. If any child storms out of a classroom, we have a duty of care to follow that up in some way - if I couldn't leave my class, I would email form teacher/SMT/safeguarding to say what had happened and request that the child be tracked down urgently.

Sorry - 'reasonable adjustment', not appropriate.

I am so cross on your behalf, and that of your daughter. At least now you will get it sorted though. How is your DD feeling about the whole situation, or does she not yet know?

LeBear - thank you for clearing that up, so it is clear that the school should have a policy on dc storming off - that is what I wondered - the practilities of how teachers are supposed to deal with such things.

If a child stormed out of my class, I would grab any passing member of staff and either
a)get them to track down pupil
B)ask them to supervise my group while I tracked down the pupil, or
c)get them to send a message to someone who could do a) or b)
If there was no passing adult, I would send a sensible child to the office to fetch someone.

5 days for lashing out? Ffs that is just mad, even without the hypo.

The punishment is unreasonable for a first offence but the worry is that they appear to using her actions as a way to deflect attention from their serious failure in their duty of care.

What happened was life threatening and, as such, should be treated as a serious incident, a formal debrief carried out and policies and training needs reviewed as a result.

If this is treated purely in terms of behaviour management none of those things will happen.

If the school refuse to take you seriously, a formal complaint and a concurrent complaint to Ofsted would be totally appropriate. The Headteacher would then be required to show that the incident had been investigated and any appropriate changes had been implemented.

thats is totally unfair! As has been pointed out previously some people hallucinate when hypo and while as the other parents you would want an explanation or punishment that is far too harsh.

This may not help but I remember a thread on a different topic suggesting that each day the parent got the school to sign a letter that said they were now responsible for the well being of the child till end of school day. I appreciate that seems extreme but would it make them listen? Take things more seriously?

words fail me on the its in the system so now it has to happen

My ds was permanently excluded for lashing out during a panic attack .
Ask school (in writing) for a copy of all incident and accident reports that were completed in respect of this. That may help them to focus a bit

Ask school (in writing) for a copy of all incident and accident reports that were completed in respect of this. That may help them to focus a bit

Good idea. It will be interesting to see if they have recorded the possible hypo as a cause.

Time for all guns blazing - it sounds as if they know they did wrong and are hastily 1) scapegoating your DD and 2) glossing over the very likely cause of all this - the hypo, and their own abject failure. Definitely ask for copies of all the reports as well as all the other paperwork that might be relevant and watch them shit themselves. I'd be contacting OFSTED in writing too.

Sorry, had DD2s 5th birthday party yesterday and had to try to put this out of my mind for a few hours or spend the entire day in tears, plan of action now is to email the Headteacher today and copy in the school governors, highlighting their failure in their duty of care to DD which resulted in another child being hurt (because even if she wasn't hypo, if they had done their job and followed her the second incident would not have happened). I will be insisting that I have a meeting with the head, either as scheduled on Tuesday morning, or on Monday afternoon after hospital appointment. Hospital appointment with DD tomorrow morning, will be asking for either a nurse to come to meeting or failing that, a letter explaining exactly what the school did wrong and how inappropriate the punishment is.

DDs story has changed slightly, I can't rule out the in my mind, unlikely possibility that she is trying to dig herself out of hole (although she tends to stick to a lie in the face of undeniable proof at times, on the rare occasions that she does tell one), but also entirely compatible with confusion over events. She told me that the girl was "annoying her"; she told someone else that a few girls were bullying her, teasing her and had "surrounded her"; she remembers hitting the girl once and trying to kick her but doesn't remember hitting her more than once, or hitting anyone else (school said that she hit a girl who tried to intervene); she remembers sitting in a corridor, she was there for an hour but in her own words "the hour went really fast" (did she pass out?, was she disorientated?).

She would also far rather take a punishment than admit to me/ anyone else/ herself that diabetes and blood sugars have any impact on her. Eg. she collapsed a while ago, fell off a chair - was out cold for a few seconds, then struggled up, giggly and "acting drunk", I took her blood sugars -2.2, I gave her glucose and then she was adamant that she had actually been "fine" all the time and was just messing about. Haven't slept again and my mind is in overdrive.

The schools response to this is shocking, and really highlights how
Little they understand about your daughters diagnosis. I hope you meeting goes well next week.

Oh Just, she really is putting you through the mill isn't she?

Try to keep in mind the whole time that this is a symptom of her internal battle about accepting her condition, not a way to deliberately wind you up.

I don't think you're ever going to get to the bottom of what was going on in your DD's head. A group of people stopping by her because she looks pale and ill her could feel terrifying from her hypo-distorted point of view. Normal caring behaviour can become twisted into something like scene in a horror film.

To be perfectly honest, your DD's account is irrelevant to the situation. What's relevant is that they don't know whether she was experiencing a hypo or not because nobody made sure her BM was checked. I feel sick at the thought that she might have passed out and recovered due to the food already in her system without anyone knowing.

I think your plan to email the head and governors and try to get the nurse to back you up with information is a good one. I am, sadly, very experienced in writing this sort of email (not about diabetes) when schools are failing in their duties because I have two DDs with additional needs and I would be very happy to help you word it if you'd like to PM me.

Don't forget to call your local Parent Partnership service for advice tomorrow if you can fit it in.

Can't believe the way school are treating your dd. Great advice from Goldmandra (I remember you giving me some brilliant advice re my own dd last year!) and hope the meeting goes ok tomorrow. Can def recommend Diabetes UK for help getting the school to change their provision. Not quite the same I know but a while back my Dh had some probs at work and they provided us with excellent information re Disability act. Dh has never thought of diabetes as a disability but employers were being completely unreasonable. They soon changed their turne pretty sharpish when they discovered they were breaking the law!

Justforlaughs, sorry you are going through this.

It may be that even though the school may be used to dealing with students with diabetes, individual teachers may not be.

It may be that the people who are responsible for the behaviour management system do not know much about diabetes, and that the first aider who do know about diabetes are not involved in the behaviour management policies.

I know the school I teach in has a couple of diabetic children, including one that I teach. Although the medical centre are very familiar with her and her symptoms, no specific training has ever been given to her teachers, including me.

If my diabetic student started e.g. acting out and hit another student during my lesson, it simply would not occur to me that it could be down to low blood sugar (although having read this read I would now be far more likely to consider that possibility).

I would suggest you look into taking a disability discrimination appeal to the Special Educational Needs and Disability Tribunal. And you should tell the school that you are doing so. Schools tend to hate having discrimination findings against them.

Oh Lord, what a bloody awful situation. I may have missed this, but can you bring someone medically trained with you to add weight to your explanation?

The school don't sound naturally inclined to think about students welfare and that worries me.

Ask them what reasonable adjustments were put in place for her disability. Also, see if their behaviour policy mention the Equality Act 2010 and whether reasonable adjustments to their sanctions are made accordingly.

As someone else said, your daughter may not actually ever be that clear on what happened - when your hypo your brain is literally starved of the fuel it needs to function properly, hence the confusion, panic, aggression etc. I've had t1 since infancy (decades! ) & still have hypod that frighten me, despite my always having had them as part of my life. It must be horribly scarey for your daughter, especially if she's passing out & her not telling you everything could also be her way of either trying to protect you or quite naturally not wanting to have to think about it. I'm so glad you're at the hospital tomorrow, keeping my fingers crossed they give you all the support you need. Best of luck!