to want the school to admit some responsibility

[Justforlaughs]

Phonecall from school last night. 14yo DD "stormed" away from PE lesson after minor altercation with teacher, didn't return to lesson, an hour later a pupil asks DD something and DD hits her. School want to put DD in isolation for a day. All sounds reasonable, penalty for bad behaviour - and I am not condoning it at all. HOWEVER, DD is by nature the kindest, gentlest, quietest 14 yr old you could ever imagine (won't even put up her hand to answer a question in class because she is too shy) and the ONLY time I can remember her lashing out in the last 4 years or so is when her blood sugars have dropped suddenly - you see she is a Diabetic. To me, the whole incident is typically symptomatic of a moderate/ severe hypo, and I feel strongly that the teacher should have flagged that her "storming" away from the lesson was not "normal" behaviour for DD, she should have followed her/ got first aider to find her and check that she was ok. She sat alone for an hour in corridor, where no-one knew she was before the incident with the other pupil. Not being dramatic, she could have fallen into a coma. The school now want a meeting to discuss her behaviour, so AIBU to raise my concerns. I am honestly, not trying to belittle the fact that she hit another girl, but I don't want either my DD or anyone else getting hurt because of another incident like this. I am worried that it sounds like I am excusing her behaviour, and I suppose I am in a way. WWYD?

OP, I would consider asking them whether they think it's appropriate to punish her when they failed to get her to test her BM which would have given them evidence of the reason behind her outburst.

she is struggling with doing them at all, tbh, and is quite likely to make them up completely (very worrying) rather than actually doing them.

It is very worrying and, sadly, not that unusual. She may need some help to get her head round all this and accept the importance to her future health of monitoring properly. Knowing it and accepting it aren't the same thing.

You need to ask if your trust has access to specialist psychology services to help teens like your DD. If not you can access CAMHS through your GP or possibly counselling through the school nurse.

op if you do get a continuous monitor there are ladies who had/have one on s thread t1 diabetes- bumps births and beyond.

In all honesty I was told the risks but when rebelling against it shut all that out wish now I hadn't though. Theres a facebook page for diabetes.co.uk and their own site mayabe she coukd get in touch with other teenage diabetics there? I have a friens whose brother was diagnosed last year though he is mayabe around 17.

Thanks Gold but what if she doesn't want counselling, I am sure it would help if she would give it a go, but she is adamant that she won't go to see anyone/ talk to anyone - she's fine, even though she's not.

OP I am so sorry your Daughter and you have this horrible illness to cope with It makes my blood boil that the school are so nonchalant about something so serious in someone so precious to you.

I've been type 1 for 20 years and I will tell you it is fucking relentless and time consuming and frustrating and unpredictable.

No one wants to hear you talk about it because it's old news, but to the person with diabetes that's it for the rest of their lives. And you are treating the condition with a medication that can easily kill you if you make a wrong judgement. So at 14 I think that's pretty big and I think all those people that are saying "you need to have a word with your daughter about taking responsibly for her own levels" have absolutely no idea what they are talking about.

Diabetes affects you every single day, can I eat this now, how much insulin, if I go for a walk will I go low, am I ok to drive, am I ok to go to sleep, is my sugar too high, is my sugar too low, im not hungry but i've got to eat, i'm hungry but my blood sugar is high...I seriously think about it all the time, at the back of my mind it is there all the time and it never ever ever lets up. Ever. Get it wrong and you risk your life.

High and low sugars can make me irrationally and grumpy. As a teenager I was particularly irrational and grumpy. I don't know whether the OP's daughter was hypo or not but irrespective of that she shouldn't have been left alone for an hour and she's now having to deal with a condition that is life changing. And apparently (looking at a lot of posts on here) some people seem to think basically she should just magically control her levels, stop moaning and get on with it.

Ooh it's made me really cross.

Thanks Hoping, I hadn't heard of continuous monitirs until we both did an abseil a few weeks ago and someone I know saw us in the paper and told us that he had one (I had no idea he was diabetic until then), it sounded great, although he had to fight to get the funding for it and ended up paying for his own for 6 months before they agreed to fund t on NHS. He said it was life changing. It sounded too good to be true tbh. No more needles and sore fingertips, alarm beeping when blood sugars are too high/ low.

And yes, look at getting an insulin pump.

mittens do you have a pump. She is an avid trampolinist and I am worried about how that would affect her if she had a pump. She lands on her front a lot (supposed to! )

Yes I do.
They are fairly hardy and you can get protective cases, but she could always remove it for about an hour and then just take a dose of insulin if high when she reconnects. She'd likely find she wouldn't need much after the activity or possibly none. I disconnect when I swim as most pumps are not waterproof and it isn't a problem.

Check out The Insulin Gang on fb, they buddy partner type 1 kids. Also you could try www.childrenwithdiabetes.co.uk and www.diabetessupport.co.uk - they have a section for parents which you might find helpful.

Re the testing thing...

1. Maybe try explaining to her that when she tests, it's 'just a number.' It's a number that informs your decision making, not a sign of failure. Don't get hung up on any one result, patterns & trends are key - good record keeping helps with this
2. Has your daughter been taught to carb count, dose adjust & correct (i.e done a 'Dafne' course or similar?). If she can't see a link between effect & probable cause, I don't blame her for being fed up with testing -pre pump I always thought finger pricks worse than injections!

i really wouldn't browbeat her (you don't sound like you will thankfully!)...she's probably feeling rubbish as it is (blood sugar swings affect mood) & effectively telling her she's got to achieve the impossible or go blind / lose a leg / any other scary complication you can think of won't help if she's already finding it overwhelming.

Re pumps, they are brill for many reasons but can be hard to get & are hard work - high reward, but hard work ...not that injections are perfect either, but I'm wandering right off now!

Anyway, I'd definitely recommend you take a peek at those sites & best wishes - it must be very hard on you as a parent too.

www.diabetes.org.uk/Guide-to-diabetes/My-life/Teens/

Hope this link works. It is the diabetes uk section for children and teenagers and may be of interest. My dh has lived with type 1 since he ws 25 and I fully understand your worries for your daughter. Xx

I can't lie and say it's perfect but I think it is about a hundred times better than the multiple injection system. And she wouldn't have to go and do injections in the first aid room because she'd always be connected.

Some pumps work with the continuous glucose monitoring systems but the funding can be difficult to secure long term for CGM. Funding for pumps is now much easier to obtain and I think NICE say that all under 18s are eligible for pump funding.

A pump reduces the risk of severe hypo also. I was undecided over whether to have one and now I wish I'd had one sooner (had one for nearly 6 years).

Strangely she doesn't mind the injections, it's jabbing her fingers that she hates! I'll take a look at the sites you've posted as well. So much for AIBU being aggressive - you've all been fantastic today!

As a teacher/ senco I'd say the school do have the onus of responsibility here. It's quite basic really, potentially life-threatening illness does not equal child being alone whilst showing possible symptoms. I taught lovely, responsible young diabetics and every one of them to some degree struggled with recognising fluctuations in blood pressure. I would kick up a bit of a stink, not in terms of no punishment but it terms of reviewing her care plan and knowing how it was communicated.

It's sad but in our area over a significant percentage of the children over 14 who are seen by the visual impairment outreach service have a history of uncontrolled diabetes. It's sadly so common that for young children families do not take it seriously enough in primary school, as I've witnessed myself too many times. It's so tough on parents, it's hard and so difficult to know if you're dealing with it right. Don't beat yourself up about counselling, school etc but look for others in similar situations for advice.

Just
Wanted to ask if her friends know what signs to spot and what to do if she's low/high? My sister's friend was dx aged 11 and her mum told all her friends what signs to look for and what to do. Then when she was out with her friends her mum could relax (a tiny bit!!).

I didn't mind the actual injections, everyone always thinks that's the worse bit but it's barely anything compared to the continual weight of the responsibility of making constant decisions and judgements.

The pump allows greater flexibility and tighter control. JDRF are also pretty good at supporting children with diabetes I think.

dunked we have spoken to them all, but maybe we need to refresh their memories. Some of them seem to have to brains the size of ants honestly, one girl insists on buying DD sweets and lollies all the time as presents. DD2 does well out of it! Doesn't matter what we say!

mittens JDRF?? Who are they?

Feel really sad for your dd reading this as I am the parent of a diabetic child.
Definitely get Diabetes UK on board if the school are going to be ridiculous (although accept a meeting and possibility that not all her behaviour due to the condition.) I can't speak highly enough of them and all they do to help parents in this position.

Also if you want support with going more high tech, check out Input. I heard Melissa Holloway speak at a recent Dabetes UK event and she is seriously on the ball and showed us all her CGM device.

Thankfully, my child's school is great.

Sorry, Mittens, have googled their website. I've never heard of them before.

Oh I'm sorry.

I've been in a similar situation (although not related to Diabetes) with my own DD when she didn't want help from CAMHS even though they felt she really needed it. It made me feel really helpless and inadequate.

If she won't accept help there's not an awful lot you can do. She is old enough to decline without your permission.

Would she be willing to meet other young people with the condition? You may be able to find one close to you on here.

There's also this site which is aimed at teenagers with diabetes which she might find helpful if she hasn't seen it already.

If you want to remind her of the long term implications of poor control try Googling "Sarah Caltieri". She lost her sight through rebelling in her teens. Just be aware that she used hyperglycemia as a weight loss programme which you may not want to suggest to your DD. Only you know if that's appropriate.

I'm sorry she's sticking her head in the sand. That must be very hard to watch. Keep interfering as much as you can because she will thank you in later life, whatever she thinks now.

I hope you find a good way to help her through this.

mittens couldnt say it any better myself its like a full time job in itself isn't it! Im currently having to get up at 3-4am most nights due to rising bg.

I have considered a pump but as far as I can see dont meet the criteria and yes have read up.on the ones linked to a cgm which sound great though my dn did point out that as it would take me a while to trust the devices.

just if there is any hint of being able to get funding really push for it as cgm is expensive unfortunately or I would fund my own.

Does anyone know how much they cgm costs off hand?

About £3000 or thereabouts.
Seriously, look at my Input link. They are incredibly proactive in getting people these.