to want the school to admit some responsibility

[Justforlaughs]

Phonecall from school last night. 14yo DD "stormed" away from PE lesson after minor altercation with teacher, didn't return to lesson, an hour later a pupil asks DD something and DD hits her. School want to put DD in isolation for a day. All sounds reasonable, penalty for bad behaviour - and I am not condoning it at all. HOWEVER, DD is by nature the kindest, gentlest, quietest 14 yr old you could ever imagine (won't even put up her hand to answer a question in class because she is too shy) and the ONLY time I can remember her lashing out in the last 4 years or so is when her blood sugars have dropped suddenly - you see she is a Diabetic. To me, the whole incident is typically symptomatic of a moderate/ severe hypo, and I feel strongly that the teacher should have flagged that her "storming" away from the lesson was not "normal" behaviour for DD, she should have followed her/ got first aider to find her and check that she was ok. She sat alone for an hour in corridor, where no-one knew she was before the incident with the other pupil. Not being dramatic, she could have fallen into a coma. The school now want a meeting to discuss her behaviour, so AIBU to raise my concerns. I am honestly, not trying to belittle the fact that she hit another girl, but I don't want either my DD or anyone else getting hurt because of another incident like this. I am worried that it sounds like I am excusing her behaviour, and I suppose I am in a way. WWYD?

I don't know much about diabetes but I do read this blog www.sixuntilme.com and I find it so interesting and positive that I thought it might help you and your DD to look. It's American but you can see from some of the posts that the online diabetes community is international. Hope you get things sorted out with the school.

I'm not up to date but if Irc each 'set' - that is the sensor bit that sits under your skin is around £50 & lasts a few days -a week or so - but that's probably changed by now. Most hospitals will have a pool of cgms so you can 'borrow' for a few days at a time to check out specific issues, ie whether you're hypoing at night or your levels are just creeping up. The last time I had one I still had to finger prick test throughout & calibrate it with those results, but that was over 7 years ago now.

Have just taken a look at that site Moon tbh, it looks like DD might be a candidate for NHS funding! Feels almost a waste of time using "DD" now, as anyone who knows me, knows who I am now . Totally outed myself on this thread. Anyway, I really need some sleep, had a long day and another one to come tomorrow! I will be back though. I can't thank you all enough for help and advice, it's been a hard day and you got me through it! Thanks

The other thing to bear in mind is currently if you use the cgm & pump that's two things you're attached to - unfortunately I don't think there are any single cannula devices out there yet? (could be wrong though!)

It's not a magic bullet - like mittens said there's still a lot of thinking involved, but the benefit is far more flex in delivery (you can have a far smaller, more accurate dose on a pump than injections) & you can tailor the drip feed ('basal rate') to your body's needs & activities...takes a fair bit of setting up imitially but worth it.

Input will help you to ensure you meet the criteria. That's their remit. They are wonderful people. Luckily our PCT is great and we have excellent care and pumps no issue but not like that everywhere which is where they and Diabetes UK come in.
Sleep well. Thinking of you.

Just to add, I think YWNBU - I am a teacher and I also lived with a diabetic when I was 18. She was completely aggressive and out of character when hypo and she no control and little chance to sort it out.
So - it's not a case of DD taking responsibility - the school has a duty of care and what happened seems wrong to me.

Just wanted to add one more thought - I lived with a diabetic at college and though she tried hard to keep things under control, it wasn't also possible for her to remember what was going on in moments of crisis. Inevitably there were some situations that could get away from her, meaning that someone else with knowledge and responsibility (in your case that should have been a teacher) stepped in. If you have parental responsibility, then that absolutely should include supervision of your daughter diabetic condition, even if she does most of it herself. After all, she's becoming an adult, but not yet an adult.

My diabetic friend got pregnant, missed some major data on her condition, was hypo without realising, got in the car and drove home from work. She lost consciousness at the wheel and it was astounding that lives weren't lost. But she came close.

You need to get used to waving the Equality Commission's phone number around (they are there to ensure the UK lives up to its commitments to disabled people, which were made at the UNCRPD). Don't ask or wait to be given - demand pleasantly and demand again.

Hi,
Just to say that JDRF run weekends for young people with diabetes and also family weekends for the whole family. They are meant tone excellent, I have a friend that has attended.

They cover workshops, there's a disco in the evening and they have all the latest information and research there.

It might be worth considering at some point in the future?

CGM does not have to be worn all the time - as someone else said it means wearing two pieces of equipment. She could just wear it when having particular problems. We did consider self funding one that I could wear occasionally but I haven't needed to since the pump has made my levels much more stable.

YANBU - there are 3 diabetics in my immediate family and I have seen them when they are in the middle of hypos and the type of behaviour your dd exhibited seems typical of hypo behaviour. However, I take it you have asked her. She would know if she had been low as she would have needed to have taken some type of corrective action to raise her blood sugars again.
You say that this type of behaviour is not typical for her but maybe it was nothing to do with her diabetes (directly) but a reaction to some type of stress she may be under.

I'm glad to see you have received so much helpful advice op and I hope your dd will be helped by some of those things, the weekend course sounds good and it will be great for her to meet some other kids in her same situation, even if it is just online. Hope all goes well with the school too.

Rather pissed off now, to find that DD was put into isolation today BEFORE the meeting has taken place, which was scheduled for Tuesday morning

Well they can't take it back now.

Tbh they have failed your dd. What if her hypo had got worse after she left the lesson? I think a strongly worded letter to the head/governors/LA is in order.

Do you think this is a case of wheels having put in motion and nobody gave it any thought or have they decided they're not having you dictating how they discipline your DD?

That to me sounds like they are worried about the parents of the girl who was hit kicking up a huge fuss so the isolation 'had' to happen immediately, that or it's their policy that 'violence' = immediate action (isolation) - either way it seems that they are just totally disregarding the whole medical side.

I would be very, very bloody furious firm about pointing out that if it was not for a) their stupid archaic policy re testing kit being kept miles away separately & b) their total failure to recognise the probable hypo and suitably support / ensure the safety of all students the ensuing episode probably wouldn't have happened.

I really think at the very least as a result of this they should let your daughter have her testing kit on her - she's not going to run around stabbing people with (& if she had such tendancies could do far more damage with a maths compass if so inclined!! ) - I would put it to them that this is a H&S issue & they are actively endangering her via their present policy. If they need a carrot you could arbue that if something similar happened again the teacher could ask your daughter to immediately test which would prove things either way. Unfortunately it does spund like they've no flipping idea...

Did you say your dsn would be with you on m

Dsn with you on monday? even? ! Sorry, temperamental phone screen...!

Argh, stupid phone/me!!!

I'm not sure whether nurse will be with me or not. I'm sure that the school will listen, but they seem to have a thing about "putting a punishment on their system" and then having to go with it. Eg. DD has a detention set for not handing in a homework set when she was sick and due in on her first day back! Another boy I know was given a detention for doing something, it was then proved to have been someone else, but he had to do it anyway because it was "on the system" and would escalate automatically if he didn't! Completely barking!
I wasn't going to argue against the isolation anyway, but now they've got my back up.

It does seem as if they are totally over-reacting. I do understand that with schools there is a need to be consistent with punishment, but this is a unique case and should be treated as such. Good luck with getting your message across, but I do think that you need to send a strongly worded letter to the Chair of Governors. It won't change things this time, but may well lead to the school being more reasonable in future.

Just that system is ridiculous! Does nobody ever challenge it? Where else would you be able to have a system like that and people would just accept it? How on earth do they expect pupils to have any respect for them?

This doesn't bode too well for your meeting next week. A school where the 'system' is so inflexible may not respond too well to you questioning their response when a pupil is acting out or expecting them to put robust procedures in place to keep her safe.

You need to go with a very clear idea of what is and is not acceptable in terms of how they care for your DD. If they won't put procedures in place that you feel will keep her sufficiently safe make that very clear, ask for the complaints procedure and follow it.

I don't think OFSTED would approve of that system.

I don't think OFSTED would approve of that system.

They won't find out unless someone makes a point of telling them.

Agree about the system that is just wierd, what do they mean it escalates automatically? Does it all end with the school going into a self destruct sequence and exploding?

Agree about the system that is just wierd, what do they mean it escalates automatically? Does it all end with the school going into a self destruct sequence and exploding?

It sounds like an episode of Red Dwarf, which shouldn't feel as appropriate as it does

Good news about the funding If that is the result of this thread then it has all been worth it for you.

PS the school sound like they really have no understanding and I second everyone else saying that it might be really helpful for them to have some education and training. I hope they agree.

I hope DD was ok about her day in isolation - did she say?

I think you do need to raise it. The children are in the care if the teachers is they need to be caring about their health. Diabetes is serious condition so teachers need training about it.