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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

STOP using the word "retard".

211 replies

Sparklysilversequins · 13/10/2013 11:59

This has been done many times before and I can't think why I am needing to do it again, except I have seen it used twice on here this morning already Angry.

It's offensive. It's not JUST a word. It's no less offensive if you prefix it with "emotional" or use it to describe some silly thing you or a friend did, or some bloke you saw with his trousers half way down his backside as young men sometimes choose to do.

It may be that some believe that the use of this word is considered acceptable in other countries (ie the US) and this often trotted out as a reason for its use but that is not actually true here. As of 2014 the American Psychiatric Association plans to replace the term 'mental retardation' with 'intellectual development disorder'" in the 2013 edition of their manual.

most offensive terms used in relation to disability.

HTH.

OP posts:
KissesBreakingWave · 13/10/2013 13:01

Nincompoop: from non compos mentis, the old legal term for lacking mental capacity. Basically a mediaeval way of calling someone a retard, forsooth.

And Retard in a drug name usually means it's delayed-action or slow release.

ShadeofViolet · 13/10/2013 13:03

YANBU.

I deleted my cousin from FB for using it yesterday.

Hate it.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 13/10/2013 13:04

I'm fairly sure that's a myth!

I think we all know what 'retard' means in the context of a drug or anything else. It's just an illustration of the fact that a word can give you the shivers.

EeTraceyluv · 13/10/2013 13:13

Ooops!! sorry Grin Just realised what i did there Blush

EeTraceyluv · 13/10/2013 13:13

I was really angry.

K8Middleton · 13/10/2013 13:16

Is nit wit ok? I think fuckwit is ok?

After all wit is mental capacity but quite a general term for mental capacity and not mental incapacity. IYSWIM. I think. err...

Branleuse · 13/10/2013 13:17

its an insult. Its supposed to be offensive.

How are you supposed to insult people if youre not allowed to use offensive words to do it???

Pagwatch · 13/10/2013 13:18

Why don't you just call them a cunt?

Rather than use the thing that people shout at my son when I am out with him?

Branleuse · 13/10/2013 13:18

Je suis en retard, always makes me giggle

LRDtheFeministDragon · 13/10/2013 13:19

But bran, the point is, you're insulting a whole group of people you (presumably?) didn't intend to insult?

If you wanted, for god knows what reason, to really insult someone with learning disabilities, calling them a retard would do it.

If you want to insult someone who does not have learning disabilities and you call them a 'retard', you are effectively saying to others: 'ha ha, it's really insulting to someone to compare them to you!'.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 13/10/2013 13:20

Erm ... pag, I love you and I generally agree with you but I have isshoooes with 'cunt' in that context.

Branleuse · 13/10/2013 13:20

but cunt is supposed to mean a womans sexual organs. OFFENSIVE

I dont think theres any basic human right to not ever be offended.

People shouting out things to your son in the street is the problem.

Branleuse · 13/10/2013 13:21

I have two sons with learning disabilities, and I dont find it offensive. Its completely subjective.

TheVermiciousKnid · 13/10/2013 13:22

Very well put LRD. And actually, I agree with you regarding cunt for the same reason.

Pagwatch · 13/10/2013 13:22

[sigh]

Use what you want.
But the point of retard is to draw a deliberate line between the worst thing you can think to call someone and a person with SN.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 13/10/2013 13:23

Of course it's subjective. It's language.

But if you're not offended, what's your problem?

Pagwatch · 13/10/2013 13:23

I don't expect not to be offended.

You can call me what you like. Just pick on someone who can stick up for themselves.

Pagwatch · 13/10/2013 13:26

I wasn't sighing at you btw LRD

I am happy to talk about the use of cunt. I just think sexual swear words are a different topic.

It's making people with SN who cannot defend themselves a cheap punchline is really scummy.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 13/10/2013 13:28

Good good.

And yes, completely agree on both counts.

Branleuse · 13/10/2013 13:28

but its so bloody tedious, pretty much banning words all the time. Its not even the real problem. Like people getting more offended by a word, than by the shocking level of provision for people with LD.

Its just context. People fucking about and using the word as a light insult, are not the problem, but it obviously makes people feel theyre doing some good in a patronising way.

I find this ever increasing list of social rules, acceptable ways of thinking, and allowed language to be rather offensive, and tbh, scary.

TheVermiciousKnid · 13/10/2013 13:29

I agree. Retard is in a different category to cunt.

Pagwatch · 13/10/2013 13:32

I manage to be shocked by shit provision nd people shouting retard at the same time.

Perhaps if retard wasn't a hilarious insult then provision might be considered more important?

LRDtheFeministDragon · 13/10/2013 13:35

Is there not a certain irony, to get steamed up about people 'banning words', while trying to shut down a whole discussion and narrow the definition of 'real problem' to suit yourself?

IneedAsockamnesty · 13/10/2013 13:39

Its a horrible word and there is no excuse for using it

Branleuse · 13/10/2013 13:42

well obviously feel free to not use any language you deem innapropriate, but i think youre wrong to think that it says anything much about the person using the word and their goodwill or lack of, towards disabled people, and youre most likely wrong to think a few kids useage of an out of date term as an insult, makes the slightest bit of difference to anything

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