STOP using the word "retard".

[Sparklysilversequins]

This has been done many times before and I can't think why I am needing to do it again, except I have seen it used twice on here this morning already .

It's offensive. It's not JUST a word. It's no less offensive if you prefix it with "emotional" or use it to describe some silly thing you or a friend did, or some bloke you saw with his trousers half way down his backside as young men sometimes choose to do.

It may be that some believe that the use of this word is considered acceptable in other countries (ie the US) and this often trotted out as a reason for its use but that is not actually true here. As of 2014 the American Psychiatric Association plans to replace the term 'mental retardation' with 'intellectual development disorder'" in the 2013 edition of their manual.

most offensive terms used in relation to disability.

HTH.

Well I am sorry for that of course but I don't think it's a stupid thing to say. I think it's a perfect example of how disablist terms are considered less serious and less important than other kinds of prejudice.

Btw I have two dc with autism but I don't feel that WE have earned to right to use those terms.

There is an alternative, very specialised, use of that word that would only ever be used in a technical conversation about cars. Which is clearly not what is being discussed here.

For boney to deliberately play the smart arse shows that we have a long way to go before people like that even care about the basic issue of offending people.

Sparkly this is quite common. My dd calls herself 'spackylegs' and spaz. She has a form of cerebral palsy and uses a wheelchair. There are times when these terms are acceptable. However, much training has been used in that she, her brother and her sister have AS, so teaching when the use of such language is appropriate and when it is not, has been implemented.

Some people are beyond hope aren't they..

Well done boney

My son has Hyper mobility with a score of 7 out of 9 on the beighton scale, so pretty high, google it if you want to know more and struggles with gross and fine motor skills every day of his life he would be devastated if we used those terms to describe him. It's obviously a very personal thing.

I think it may be just that, in the same way that they describe themselves as Aspies, too.
I know about hypermobility too. Dd2 knows the name of most of the A&E staff now, she has subluxed many a joint!

Sorry, this is a bit off topic, but if the term is AEN now, why has the MN section not been renamed to reflect this? Or is SN still valid outside the education context?

Tbh, I think many would assume that if it's still used on MN, then it's appropriate language to use.

I can't believe anyone still uses words like retard!

I'm in the US and it is extremely common here. When I filled in the questionnaire about my and my husband's health at the OB/GYN office, under the list of potential conditions we could have ticked boxes for was 'mental retardation'. I hate the term personally, but it seems to be used as though it isn't offensive here.

the point I was trying to make is WE arnt using those terms at all, wouldn't dream of it but it's the girls themselves who are to each other.

are fat people not allowed to make fat jokes about themselves? Miranda and dawn French would be buggered then!

how about understanding a little bit how bloody devastating it is at 13 for lives to be suddenly and completely changed in a second.

no we don't feel its 'appropriate' for us parents to say we know better.

I have TWO dc with multiple disabilities. I don't think lack of understanding of life changing conditions is my problem to be quite honest.

Ooh Sparkly I'm a 9 so I feel his pain poor love. The test you want to do badly in isn't it.

This is a horrible word for me as bad as using the "N word.

I have heard this word said to kids for making silly or stupid mistakes and it is obvious the kids have very little understanding of the word.

If you go back in time to the 1980 s some of you will be aware the word "JOEY" was also a word that was used to attack people in a vile way.

For people who don't know what "JOEY" means Joey Deacon was a severally handicapped man who came to be known though being helped
by Blue Peter. Every day going to school in the 80 s you would hear kids being terribly bullied by being called "JOEY" dreadful. the teachers did not understand what "JOEY" meant and when people complained where told that a "JOEY" is a baby kangaroo. This is the same sort of name calling and bullying that in some ways is far worse than physical bullying.

I remember the Joey thing. Awful.

I am quite honestly amazed and disappointed that this thread is still going after the points made during the first half of it.

My DD is thirteen and at a very susceptible age but she would never use this kind of language, ever.

IME,The only teenagers I know who frequently use this offensive word to each other on social networking sites and in RL are the ones in private education....

sanss

Your experience is different to mine. It was very much in use at my state school (I left 6 years ago) and is still in use at the state school my dp teaches at. This is no good thing of course.

The use of the word is not a class thing.

We all know that retard has different meanings

Retard, the verb - fine. Use it if it is technically correct.

Retard, the noun - Never. Ever.

Google Sassure - the linguistic sign.

The signifier (Retard) points to a concept (the signified).

In this case, you are signifying 'someone so stupid, so inept, so idiotic that it would be a complete insult to be thought of like that.'

So you're right, the word, the signifier 'retard' is not offensive. However, until the signified is not ''someone so stupid, so inept, so idiotic that it would be a complete insult to be thought of like that.', then it is and always will be an awful word.

obviously only my observation in the city I live in.

I dont see any issue with young disabled people using a bit of black humour to get through things. If another disabled person hears them, they will immediately get why they are doing it.

It's when your teacher, or your doctor, or your friend's mum says something is "spastic" or another driver is a "retard" or a colleague is "so autistic he thinks we all care about this" that the damage is done.

Well, that is true, sunshine. I wouldnt want my LD son using that kind of language either, not least as he has no idea of irony or social context. But I cant help but have sympathy with what thebody describes.

Maybe it is the fact that it is easier to laugh at yourself if you have a physical disability, but very difficult to laugh with someone with a learning disability, as the level of informed consent just can't be the same?

It always surprises me how many people defend their right to use such a shitty word. Because their right to use the word obviously trumps the rights of people who might be upset to not hear it...

I see the points, and I myself never use the word, but exactly where does it stop? Where does one draw the line between acceptable and unacceptable?

lougle says retard as a noun is never acceptable - but what about things such as flame retardent or the musical use (a retard in music is a point where the tempo slows) etc?

Someone earlier said that "tardy", as in late or (physically) slow, was alright, but it comes from the exact same route (eg modern French: en/du retard - to be late), in much the same vein as words such as moron / imbecile.

I've seen many posters on here, when talking about words such as "cretin" say that it doesn't matter what it's modern use is, the historical use is awful and ergo any use in any context is unacceptable. But in this thread, posters have said that some use is alright, others isn't, as it depends on context.

Do you see where this causes confusion and problems in thrashing out exactly which words are acceptable and which aren't? I genuinely believe that most people really aren't intending to be horrible if they use one of these - if, of course, someone yells a word as an insult in the street, completely wrong. But I wouldn't be expected to be taken to task for (for example), using the word faggot in the butchers.

National borders can also change popular use and meaning, and in our increasingly global society, it can be hard to get it right 100% of the time.

Like I said, I don't believe most people set out with the intention to hurt. Some do, but they're arseholes, and they will be no matter what phrasing they use. I also don't think people should be crucified for questioning what may be long-held understandings. Humans are fallable and language is large and complex.

Don't use the word retard to describe someone with disabilities either about them or to the face and you'll be just fine. Perhaps if you're a doctor using it a technical sense then maybe it's necessary, but as I understand it it is not now in common use as a medical term.

I'm not sure what's confusing about that tbh. Posters have been VERY clear on this thread about the context in which it's offensive. I honestly don't feel it can be compared to using the word "faggot" in the butchers.