STOP using the word "retard".

[Sparklysilversequins]

This has been done many times before and I can't think why I am needing to do it again, except I have seen it used twice on here this morning already .

It's offensive. It's not JUST a word. It's no less offensive if you prefix it with "emotional" or use it to describe some silly thing you or a friend did, or some bloke you saw with his trousers half way down his backside as young men sometimes choose to do.

It may be that some believe that the use of this word is considered acceptable in other countries (ie the US) and this often trotted out as a reason for its use but that is not actually true here. As of 2014 the American Psychiatric Association plans to replace the term 'mental retardation' with 'intellectual development disorder'" in the 2013 edition of their manual.

most offensive terms used in relation to disability.

HTH.

Thank you, still.

I have thinking about disability lately as DD is at that stage of beginning to notice differences between people. I've been considering how to talk about it and the language to use. She's only three and it's a minefield - I worry that I will explain things badly and she will say the wrong thing and hurt the feelings of another child/family.

Is there any good reaon why you are likely to be having a conversation with me and use it?
Or are you making a point about the fact that it may be appropriate in a specialist scenario.
Because that's not what we are talking about, is it?

I've reached the age of 51 without ever having a detailed conversation with someone about their endeavours to make my car engine run better.
Is it imminent?

SomethingOnce, the opinion of anyone who takes umbrage based on something a very small child says in all innocence really isn't worth tuppence.

Sorry about that ludicrously badly written sentence.

I meant, by all means raise your child to be lovely and considerate, but don't worry that she will "cause offence". She is three. No one should take offence at anything she says.

It may not be, but it never feels good to upset somebody.

And I think the assumption that 'they pick these things up from h

Yy. Somethingonce
Don't worry. Children question and say things quite innocently.
I have had some quite entertaining questions

"Is there any good reaon why you are likely to be having a conversation with me and use it?"

If you own a car or any form of motorised vehicle (even a lawnmower) or walking past two people talking about engines/car maintenance in the pub you may well end up having a conversation using the term retard in the technical sense.

"Or are you making a point about the fact that it may be appropriate in a specialist scenario.
Because that's not what we are talking about, is it?"

Actually the op wants to stop the use of the word "retard" completely, so yes it is relevant and not just in a specialist sense.

DSis said it once as a child. I've never seen my lovely DM so cross. Growing up friends used to laugh at me when I asked them not to say it. Apparently not having any kind of additional needs myself then I had no right to object to it.

I honestly think people are hung up on language.
Bran language dictates a great deal of what we think, of how we think and function as a crowd. We have found better words to describe those with different needs, words that will hopefully become inclusive rather than exclusive.
Under this government disability hate crime has increased. This is because of the language used, shirker, skiver not striver, scrounger. These are all terms currently associated with those on benefits. Whilst many people with disabilities work, people don't see that, the crowd mentality dictates that they are disabled, ergo not working, (unable/able doesn't come into the thinking) ergo benefit scroungers. This government has used language very effectively to create an insidious little narrative.

Bloody phone!

... from home' makes me even keener to get it right.

Also, she won't be three forever.

Why not just say that then Boney? The average person isn't going to know that. Did it make you feel clever? Well good for you.

Do you know, I wanted to take your scenario seriously but I am seriously struggling BoneyBack

Seriously. I'm 51. I have avoided that situation so far.

And my post that prompted yours said 'I may..'

So if two people are having a private conversation about engine components there is every probability I will broadly ignore them.

It was a really desperate attempt tbh.

Oh boney that is just childish. What on earth is the point?

"Did it make you feel clever? Well good for you."

This obviously touches a nerve for you. but not everyone that uses the term means it in an insulting way.

Cn I add another one? When people describe self-centred, often aggressive, socially inept behaviour at work they will often say "x is so autistic". I say, really, does he get funding? And they look at bit . But it really doesn't help colleagues with autism, if the popular view is that it's all about being a sociopath...

You point is pathetic boney. Honestly.

It's a horrible word and in no way acceptable. I don't think I've seen it on MN though.

when my dd and all her friends were all badly hurt in an accident with critical to minor injuries they all referred to each other as spaz etc as in ' come on you spaz'.

it jarred with us but who were we to day anything. they used it as a joke to help/ motivate each other.

life isn't black and white.

Boney- practically everybody does. You know that full well.

Then explain that. I for one would be interested in knowing there is an alternative use for the word. I'm not sure why you were like that on what is obviously quite a sensitive thread for some.

Would it be ok for your dd and her mates to be racist or sexist because they'd been in an accident thebody?

well that's a stupid thing to say isn't it?

2 are in wheel chairs with spinal injuries and the rest have scars and other problems.

to be honest what they say amongst themselves is ok with us, they have earned the right to take the piss out of themselves and each other.