I cancelled the babysitter

[ForSaletotheHighestBidder]

DH had arranged that we meet another couple for dinner this evening. It was booked for 6.30pm as our sitter has somewhere else to be at 10pm.

We had arranged a family day out today, cinema in the morning and then we were going to do some shopping for winter stuff for the kids and go for a nice lunch. Sitter was due at 5.30pm.

While we were in the cinema DH gets a call and then a text from the male of the other couple (that we were supposed to meet tonight), asking him if he would drive him 1.5 hours away to a football match as he is too jet lagged after a business trip to drive. He shows me the text and I said very clearly "you promised a family day today, tell him no". I also clearly stated that if he went to the match that he would not be back in time for the 6.30pm meal, to which he responded that "the girls can go to the meal and the guys can join them after". Now I hardly know the female partner and to be honest I have hardly anything in common with her, regardless of the fact that I think it's quite ignorant of the guys to just assume that they change our arrangements like that. So DH went off to call his friend, I assumed to say no.

He came back and said "right, lets take the kids for a takeaway McDonalds, I've to get on the road". So he left at approx 1.30pm and is not back yet. Obviously I told him to go f*ck himself and I cancelled the sitter and texted the female of the other couple to tell her exactly what had happened. I don't blame her partner for asking, I blame mine for not just saying no. I really could not stomach submitting to the rearranged evening, or sitting beside him and pretending to like him for even 5 minutes.

Am so sick of DH prioritising other things and other people over his family. Now I am the one stuck here at home with the kids and not even a bottle of wine in the house! Was my response unreasonable?

What's he trying to prove? Is this other man a looker?

I don't think you made an unreasonable request, no. But there will probably be others along soon to say that he has every right to go out on his own and you should just suck it up, blah, blah

YANBU, I'd be majorly pissed off, especially after telling him straight that he'd promised a family day and not to go.

No, but I do call him "your boyfriend" as everytime he calls DH jumps.

Wtf? You shouldn't have even had to say "tell him no." My DH would have just texted back no all by himself. Really not okay for him to think he could just leave you to finish the family day alone (er that is not family day) and then go hold the restaurant booking for him until he could be bothered to arrive.

Have you tried to talk this out with him, the bigger issue of his time management/priorities? I mean, is he being clueless, or selfish?

Why did he have to go to the match, as opposed to just dropping the man off?
I'd be really annoyed if I were you.

Yanbu.
You need a big talk about where his priorities. Write your objections down then try to leave it for tonight and watch some girls tv and have a long bath and sod him.

Stanley, I know, but he went out last night to watch a match in the pub, stayed till closing, on the understanding that we would have a family day today.

YANBU OP. In fact, you did the right thing.

In that case he is taking even more of the piss. YADNBU, as I said before.

Yanbu, it's unacceptable. After you both agreeing to a family day out he should have said no to this guy without thinking twice. He was seeing Him anyway for dinner!!

He gave up a family day and a meal for a football game? YANBU to cancel the babysitter and have him sleep on the sofa!

Wtf? Hell no you're not being unreasonable. Your 'd'h is taking the piss.

YANBU, it's obvious where his priorities lie. I'd be furious.

Both men in this scenario sound like complete knobs tbh
Bet the other wife is fuming too

Your husband, and this guy, are a pair of twats.

YANBU, I would be so pissed off. I have no issues with DP going off and doing stuff with his mates but if we've planned a date night or a family day or whatever, then that's what we're doing and he knows not to even suggest dumping me for his mates.

If you arrange something (be it with your DP, your family, your friends, your DC) then you stick to what you arranged unless it's an emergency. Driving someone to a football match does NOT count as an emergency - I would be fuming OP.

Yanbu, but...to me a family day out means the zoo, or the beach, or a theme park for the whole day. It doesn't mean shopping. that's a chore and there's little point 2 people wasting their day doing that. That would be his pov I guess.

You were right to be angry but now he is the one who is out and you are home with the kids.
You and the other woman could go for the meal withou. the men.
Did the babysitter lose out too or did you pay her?

arethereanyleftatall, the plan was movie, literally half an hour to buy socks and jocks, hats and gloves for DH and the kids, then lunch. He also wanted to look at some items for himself, in which case I would have taken the kids to the toy shop or the book shop for half an hour. I wasn't planning on torturing the man.

He's not home yet, I just phoned to ask him to pick me up a bottle of wine and they are only halfway home. And yes, both of the males in this situation are twats. I just assumed that my DH, being married with children (other couple aren't) and 10 years older than the other twat, would know better. More fool me.

Laquitar, I don't want to go for a meal with the other woman, especially not after what has happened. I don't know her well enough to have a rant about my husband in front of her.
Babysitter is cool about it, we had changed our plans to suit her party plans and I happen to know that she was out very late last night, so she will get over it. I'll book her for another time to compensate.

YAbu because you should have gone out, not with the woman you didn't know, but just to make a point and told him he had to be back for 10 for the babysitter.

But YANBU he's been a dick especially if this is a regular thing.

I agree with arethereanyleftatall . If I was being dragged on a shopping trip, then someone offered me the chance to go watch a football match with them instead, I'd go.
How can anyone describe shopping as a 'family day' ?
Like Laquitar said, you've cut off your nose to spite your face though - if you spent a bit of time with this other lady you might get to know her better. You had the babysitter, and could have had a nice meal out. It's you that chose not to.
So, IMO, yes, YABU

He was definitely being very unreasonable, but if you hadn't cancelled the babysitter and had met the wife and had the restaurant meal together you may have both had a good night. So in that respect you wbu to let them ruin everyones night.

bit harsh