I cancelled the babysitter

[ForSaletotheHighestBidder]

DH had arranged that we meet another couple for dinner this evening. It was booked for 6.30pm as our sitter has somewhere else to be at 10pm.

We had arranged a family day out today, cinema in the morning and then we were going to do some shopping for winter stuff for the kids and go for a nice lunch. Sitter was due at 5.30pm.

While we were in the cinema DH gets a call and then a text from the male of the other couple (that we were supposed to meet tonight), asking him if he would drive him 1.5 hours away to a football match as he is too jet lagged after a business trip to drive. He shows me the text and I said very clearly "you promised a family day today, tell him no". I also clearly stated that if he went to the match that he would not be back in time for the 6.30pm meal, to which he responded that "the girls can go to the meal and the guys can join them after". Now I hardly know the female partner and to be honest I have hardly anything in common with her, regardless of the fact that I think it's quite ignorant of the guys to just assume that they change our arrangements like that. So DH went off to call his friend, I assumed to say no.

He came back and said "right, lets take the kids for a takeaway McDonalds, I've to get on the road". So he left at approx 1.30pm and is not back yet. Obviously I told him to go f*ck himself and I cancelled the sitter and texted the female of the other couple to tell her exactly what had happened. I don't blame her partner for asking, I blame mine for not just saying no. I really could not stomach submitting to the rearranged evening, or sitting beside him and pretending to like him for even 5 minutes.

Am so sick of DH prioritising other things and other people over his family. Now I am the one stuck here at home with the kids and not even a bottle of wine in the house! Was my response unreasonable?

Oh dear! I see people
Still not reading the whole thread! Ppl like that r just rude !

It doesn't matter what OP had planned. She asked Dh to participate and he had agreed, then pissed off halfway through the day.
I don't care whether It's shopping or digging drains, I do not expect my partner to jump ship when a better offer comes along.

Shopping wasn't the only part of the day.

OP said they planned a morning cinema trip, a bit of shopping including for some things DH had said he wanted and had looked up on-line the night before, a nice lunch somewhere and then the afternoon together before going out for an early dinner with friends.

Why are people focusing only on the shopping part and speaking like it's something the OP twisted his arm to do? He wanted to go shopping and had a list of things he wanted to buy while he was doing it.

But it shouldn't matter if they were spending a family day cleaning out sewer pipes with her DH's toothbrush, he'd agreed to spend the day with his family and then took himself off to the football without a second thought. He broke his promise, that's the point. It's not what they were doing, or whose idea it was, it was that he broke their arrangements for no good reason.

And their nice lunch turned out to be at MacDonalds because he didn't have time for anything else.

He was a selfish arse. Which we know already since he was using his phone in the cinema. But it's not the fault of the shopping.

I don't get the impression this man is actually involved in the marriage or in the family.

His mate sounds dodgy, too. He obviously knew that the DH would be up for a change that day - he knew he could rely on him to drop out of his family's plans.

"cleaning out sewer pipes with her DH's toothbrush"

Sorry to bring this up but are you absolutely sure he was with his mate? It seems bloody weird to me, to run off in the middle of a day out with his wife and kids, unless there is some ow on the scene and his mate is covering for him with the story about the match.

I am horrified by some of these posts, which seem to think women should suck up shitty behaviour and struggle on their own to shop eith kids and keep then entertained because god forbid a man should have to share the work or be responsible for looking after his own kids. That seems to be purely the mothers job!

To be honest, I wondered if there really was a football match. Call me cynical...

Any update OP?