Mother is refusing to bring DD (3) back from abroad as agreed!

[AbsolutelyBloodyFurious]

My mother and stepfather live abroad in an Asian country that is a 16 hour flight away. They are out there due to my stepfather's work.

DH and I visited with DD (aged 3) last month for 2 weeks and as we had been experiencing some marital difficulties (he let's me do everything-cleaning, shopping, paperwork, childcare drop offs etc even though I earn double what he does and I am sick of it), my mother suggested that DD stay on with them for 2 weeks extra (as they are flying back to the UK anyway) to give us some time together.

I was not happy and said no initially as I am quite an anxious person and it is just too far away but was made to feel like an idiot so I agreed.

DD was supposed to come back next Wednesday but my mother has just rung me and said that they are postponing coming back until next month due to problems with stepfather's work so DD will have been over there for almost 7 weeks in all without us.

I am beyond furious. I would never have left her if I had any suspicion that they would do this. I am already completely stressed out worrying about DD constantly. My mother will look after her OK but anything could happen right? I cannot cope with another 5 weeks of this. There is also the impact this will have on DD being away from us so long.

I can't afford another flight out there and would need at least another week off work which I won't get.

Mother has said she won't fly back on her own with DD. She has to wait for my stepfather (mother does not work out there).

I want to bloody scream!!

Meant to say completely understand that the gm cant fly back if shes a nervous flyer so op should go over if shes that worried.

Pumpkin I was 3 in 1993 - 1994 I would have gone over aged 3. Dad took us stayed a couple of nights then went home. Sometimes grandparents would come over and take me back with them.

I don't think it would be unreasonable for your DD to stay out there for that length of time if you had both discussed this and both agreed that it was the best thing to do. But that's not what happened here OP.

And yes sometimes we stayed longer then we were meant to. It did us no harm and didn't break a bond with our parents.

When I got run over my grandparents took baby sister aged 1 to them for a couple of weeks. They then said they will have her a week or so more.

The OP doesn't seem bothered and so be it. If she thought it was an abduction or anything I think she would have gone.

Look at flight times, would you be able to fly out tomorrow morning, back Monday morning? that's only one day off work - yes you'll be knackered, but you are upset and your DD will be missing you. If you called your boss and explained your mum is refusing to return your DD (you might need to exagerate the situation a bit), it would be hard for them to refuse to let you go.

Then never leave your DD in a situation where you can't get her back quickly.

Stop doubting your upset, you are allowed to be upset, and you can go get her. What does your DH think?

oh and are you 100% certain you couldn't fly out today if you got yourself organised and back tomorrow? You might not need to take time off work... Get off here, get on to the airline websites, find timings and go. Or could you ask your DH to go get her?

I would just go & get her if your mother won't bring her back as arranged. I wouldn't let my daughter think she'd been let down, when she was expecting to come home to Mummy & Daddy.

But I wouldn't be very impressed with my mother.

Either report to police. Or if you don't want to do that get a flight booked and go and get your daughter back. Put the flight cost on credit card. Or just wait for your DD to be returned.

I do hope you're currently sortng out your flights OP....

I would get my DD back any way I could. I think it could make your DD very very insecure to be away from you for that long. Summer holidays felt like forever when I was 7 or 8. At 3, 7 weeks will be a huge length of time.

Like someone else said (sorry, I can't refind it) I would tell her to brig her back or pay for my flight and threaten that she will never see your DD again. You're furious. Direct that.

Wow. I'm not even a mum yet but I think you're being stupid. Imagine that, having an international jet-setting 3 year old that doesn't see her parents for 7 weeks... Why you even let her go in the first place completely escapes me, why you aren't being more pro-active in her return, absolutely ridiculous. Could you not at the very least fucking insist that your mother brings her back as previously agreed otherwise she will have more to worry about that some flight nerves? I'm not usually this harsh, but after seeing you prioritise work and cost, I'm fuming. Poor little girl.

As the mother of a 3 year old I can't believe you would even consider not going to get her.

We're due to leave dd with my parents for 2 nights next month and I'm having a serious wobble about it!

I think you right. I mean she can't afford a ticket now but could afford to throw away money her dds return ticket that she didn't even use?

Where has op said what work she does? As everyone is saying fly the weekend you wont miss much work, why assume that?i work weekends.

Have reported. Let HQ decide

It does seem funny leaving dd abroad due to marital issues

Anyone ever seen -Not without my daughter? With Sally field?

Hence the hysteria

Me too.

You got over your fury pretty quick there, OP.

Bloody crazy.

I hope you are a troll!

I had some sympathy with you at the beginning but you seem totally self centred. Your 3 year old who you apparently hardly leave is going to be without you for 7 weeks. Put the flights on a credit card and go get her FFS. Whinging about your mother disregarding your feelings and your twat of a DH and about how you feel is pretty shocking to be honest.