To not buy off THE list, and tell list Bitch to piss off.

[ShadeofViolet]

Last year DD was invited to the party, and with the invite came an Amazon gift list of all the things the girl wanted. I though I found the exact thing on the list cheaper elsewhere, so I got it elsewhere.

About a week later, the Mum comes up to me in the playground and asks if I have the receipt because the item wasn't correct and she didn't think I had got it off the precious list.

Yesterday DD had an invited from the same girl and a list. On the list in red crayon is written 'Please buy Jane any of these things but only these, thank you, LB'.

After last years rudeness I want to buy something else and then 'lose' my receipt so she cant return it.

AIBU?

Drumkit. Definitely.

Fgs, you're all making WAY too big a deal of the list. Let's face it, is IS v handy, you get list, you pick something, it's sent to your door, job done thank fuck. And it does make it easy for the child's mum to return duplicates etc.

So I can forgive the list.

Asking for the receipt though after the event IS the really beyond RUDE bit iyam.

Anyway, child is 5, no doubt mum made up the list. Just buy something off it, enclose the gift receipt and move on.

It's not worth your energy. Seriously. Esp when lists are normal enough where you are.

'Just buy something off it, enclose the gift receipt and move on. '

It costs too much.

Buy her a book token or a box of sweets. Job done.

I think the problem with the list is partly that most of the suggestions are far more expensive than most people would budget for a 5yo friend's birthday. And there isn't a "worth £20 but got it in the sale for £6" option, if value is what matters rather than outlay. A bit like wedding lists where the cheapest item is a £100 popcorn machine.

People like her are only rude because others indulge her nonsense. Don't indulge. Keep your child away from the party or send her in with a present that is NOT on the list. If she challenges you again, don't waste energy responding, roll your eyes and walk off.

I think lists should only be given if asked for.

Actually I think the weirdest and worst and rudest bit is that the mother remembered from one year to another who had dared not to buy from The List. Just wha?

Whether or not you buy the entire list (and good point on boycotting amazon) the fact is that at 5 the friendship may or may not last, for no other reason than kids are fickle.

You will not 'damage' a child's relationship buy buying the wrong gift, or even not going to the party, it simply won't register!

I'd not attend the party, give a gift via the step mum, and invite the little girl to tea.

playing together builds relationships not birthday parties! Don't get sucked into the hallmark childhood!

If LB said anything, i'd loftily reply, 'Oh lists? I don't do lists'

Definitely buy a book token, including the message that you don't buy from Amazon on principle.

Hmmm.
Amazon gift voucher. Unless you want to boycot amazon.

i have a really loud mini electric piano tht would do the job nicely. tht nd a tube of glitter.

Picked up a book token in Tesco tonight. Is a National one so it can be used in quite a few places.

Shades you did the right thing, don't pander to the list mother, whilst not penalising the child.

I'm sure she'll like that.

BLOODY HELL!

Yes good. Perfect.
Suck on that Listzilla!

. She was not only crass enough to distribute a gift list, but took you to task for daring to purchase your gift elsewhere??
Is she on commission?

Perfectly acceptable. She gives you any schtick ask her what exactly is unacceptable about a book as a gift.

I would buy the messy glitter moonsand..Can I ask how expensive these gifts are...

I find it shocking...I actually remember saying when my son was 5 just buy him a comic he will love it as I refuse buy them...

I don't like been told what to do at the best of times yet alone by a parent I don't even speak to particualry.

I would let my child go though easy to say don't go , this isn't some acquaintance its one of her closest friends

Wow. I. have. no. words.

Has any other parent mentioned anything?
It is so rude. You shouldn't have to feel pressure of a list for a child's 5th birthday party.
Good for you for not buying off it.

Rude rude rude rude rude.

Let's face it, lists are handy for weddings where you're buying for people whose tastes are formed and who already have stuff, to avoid duplicates/disasters. Although no one has any business in getting pissed off if people use their imaginations instead.

But for kids there's a world of possibilities to guess what they'd like, or to introduce them to something new. Most of the fun is in the opening and the surprise anyway. And kid's birthdays are a great way to introduce children to some basic concepts about gift-giving and receiving:

1. Not obligatory
2. Not 'currency' so don't think of it like tit for tat or n terms of value, but instead, effort
3. Ie, Thought that counts
4. Therefore: Smile nicely and say thank you that someone bothered their arse to get you something

Although it seems this poor kid's mum was raised by wolves or something.

Bloody nora I thought nothing could irritate me more than fucking wedding lists for people that have already been living together for decades - but this really takes the piss.
Bag of Haribo and be done with it frankly.

I'd take DD on a spending spree(max 5 quid) in the pound shop and give grabby mum an envelope with the receipt in. Bet she wouldn't take anything back in case the neighbours saw her. Cheeky cow.