To not buy off THE list, and tell list Bitch to piss off.

[ShadeofViolet]

Last year DD was invited to the party, and with the invite came an Amazon gift list of all the things the girl wanted. I though I found the exact thing on the list cheaper elsewhere, so I got it elsewhere.

About a week later, the Mum comes up to me in the playground and asks if I have the receipt because the item wasn't correct and she didn't think I had got it off the precious list.

Yesterday DD had an invited from the same girl and a list. On the list in red crayon is written 'Please buy Jane any of these things but only these, thank you, LB'.

After last years rudeness I want to buy something else and then 'lose' my receipt so she cant return it.

AIBU?

Lost for words.

I would buy off list and it would be something incredibly tacky that every little girl would love and every mother would hate.

Or just send a card to prove a point.

If it's an Amazon list, send an Amazon gift voucher, and, if you want, something small like a packet of sweets.

I agree it's very rude, but if your DD wants to be her friend, you don't want to make things too difficult between you and her mother.

Gift lists for birthdays? For 5yr olds?

Bloody hell! I thought 5yr old were happy with anything they got..

Out of curiosity nosiness what is on the sacred list op?

The list mainly consists of Lego Friends stuff (including the pool which is £30 and Monster High Stuff which again is between £12 and £20. The cheapest thing on the list is £5.99

Whatever you buy her make sure to sprinkle a layer of glitter inside the wrapping.

The bitch in me wants to suggest you buy a nice, non-list present, and put "to be kept at Jane's daddy's house" on the label, or ask the SM if you can take DD to their house for tea rather than going to her mother's party from hell and telling mother as much.

Buy something off the list, but get an evidently 2nd hand version from the other sellers options. Like a 5 year old is going to give a monkey's about where her presents come from. Cow.

When I say its never compulsory, I mean apart from this case.

I really would just stick a fiver in a card... I would also want to get moon sand as well though.

What did you say when she pulled you last year?

What scurryfunge said, have never heard of this before, a list of gifts?!!!!!

I have heard it all now.

I'd give her a book gift card. No way would I buy from the list!

I have really heard it all now.

I suppose though if she is a nice little girl you can't punish her for her mother's terrible rudeness and grabbyness.

I'd go for a £5 amazon gift voucher. In a card. And I'm sorry, I'm usually a mild-mannered type but I really wouldn't be able to resist copious amounts of glitter in with the card too.

Sheesh!

Quickly buy the £5.99 thing before it goes!!! Because it will

Wow - how cheeky!!!

I would make a point of not buying anything from the list, but rather put a fiver in the card. Absolutely.

Cheeky bitch. Ask the little girl what she wants. And get her that.

Dont buy off the list. Its the principle of it.

Tacky as fuck. I was wondering though, would it be rude to put something like 'bring a present if you like, but nothing ovet £5'? That's how office secret santad often work and I thought it might be helpful for broke parents. Or would it just seem weird?

Or yes...a book token. Fuck the list. No matter what you decide to buy, fuck the list.

Ok, more difficult if Jane is a best friend. It does happen that some children are lovely despite the awfulness of their parents. I wonder if mum and dad got involved in some competitive parenting war when they split and mum's determination to throw the 'ultra' birthday party with the 'best' presents is her way of proving she's the better parent.

I think if you don't want to damage Jane's friendship with your DD, maybe go for one of the cheaper items on the list so you don't feel so sore about it or just put money in a card.

Oh god, I hate this sort of thing. Gift lists bring me out in hives.

However, you know what, the woman is rude but your daughter loves the girl and friendships are important. You are obviously not going to be best friends with the mother. That's ok. And the prices are reasonable. I would honestly just let this bit of crapness go. (But obviously would be saving it up in case I had to make a future judgement on the mother [evil] )

You just have to click a button, then stop thinking about it further.
Life is short!

NB if you have an objection to Amazon then by all means fight your corner.

Wouldn't be marvellous if all the invitees parents thought 'fuck your list' and no one bought a single item from it?
Listmamma would be sucking on a lemon then eh?

Well, I am familiar with wedding lists, but accept that there is some purpose to them, especially when a couple have lived together for some time and/or already have their own home.

Children making gift lists for parties though!!!!! That is encouraging them to be entitled and grabby. And trying to insist that you buy only what is on the list, and only from Amazon!!! It sounds almost as if the mum has some kind of vested interest in Amazon.

Nothing would be more likely to persuade me to do the exact opposite, actually. Cheap tat from poundland maybe, or as someone else suggested, a few quid on an Amazon voucher.

I would probably be tempted to give the party a miss though, as I think this is totally out of order.

I vote for book token with glitter

Definitely fuck the list. When DS was about 1.5 years he was invited to the party of a much older boy from nursery. I was a bit surprised and said a polite no, at which point the Mum highlighted that there was a link to the Amazon gift list on the invite! I couldn't believe her nerve! She was clearly out to just get as many gifts as possible. I got him eff all and didn't feel even slightly guilty. Especially as I still have no clue who he is!

I like the idea of a book token.

I worry if I don't stick to the list though, Jane will be told not to be friends with DD :(

However while I say Jane is lovely now, I do worry what the future holds. LB is one of 'those' Mum's who likes to get her way, is pushy and bossy and generally rude as hell.