To not buy off THE list, and tell list Bitch to piss off.

[ShadeofViolet]

Last year DD was invited to the party, and with the invite came an Amazon gift list of all the things the girl wanted. I though I found the exact thing on the list cheaper elsewhere, so I got it elsewhere.

About a week later, the Mum comes up to me in the playground and asks if I have the receipt because the item wasn't correct and she didn't think I had got it off the precious list.

Yesterday DD had an invited from the same girl and a list. On the list in red crayon is written 'Please buy Jane any of these things but only these, thank you, LB'.

After last years rudeness I want to buy something else and then 'lose' my receipt so she cant return it.

AIBU?

Woaaaah. What the hell? What kind of person thinks this is acceptable? What kind of self-interested, grabby person? This is the beginning of the fall of the West and capitalism, I tell thee!

A book token is a lovely gift, and hopefully Jane will get to choose her own book/s. If DD comes home upset one day and tells you Jane has said her mum has told her not to play with her anymore, then get in touch with List Bitch then. But right now, do not feed the grabby monster.

Blimes

What do the other class parents say about it? Please tell me you've all had a good gossip.

Is there a link to the list? Is she also an Amazon associate so getting a cut on everything?

If so, YABU, she's an entreprenurial genius, I'm going to start emailing out gift lists for all my celebrations with Amazon Associate links so I can cash in

Get a gift card or book token, this is the hight of rudeness. Why not charge for a place at the party. On principle I would not buy from the list

she wouldn't be getting a gift at all from me I am afraid, absolute fucking cheek!

If this is little girl is a friend, and you think she is having a rough time at home, please buy her a lovely gift and ignore the mother's rudeness.

If it were my DD, I would also avoid commenting on the mother's (extreme) rudeness. She has her whole life to become judgy like us MNers.

Love the glitter ideas

And yes - get your DD to choose something. Preferably noisy

YANbu, this would annoy me too. I have a drawer full of stuff I've bought on special offer/pound shops/book people cstalogues etc and unwanted stuff for regifting so i hardly ever have to buy a present specially for a child's birthday party. Very rude of her to tell you what to buy. Have you got an extra large pack of aqua beads stashed away somewhere?

I am hauling my jaw up off the ground ... how DREADFUL to be so greedy and grabby on behalf of a little five year old, who sounds lovely, by the way. I'm inclined to agree with those who suggest shoving a fiver in with the card. But her mother sounds a Grade A Bitch.

Just say 'I don't buy off lists, sorry' and give the normal gift. Like lots of people, we gets loads of invites and I can't afford £10 a time, so I buy bulk lovely cards and books from the Book People and give those out, chosen by gender/age/ones we think they will like. They are so great, I give them to my own children for their birthdays too!

I just wouldn't shop off a list for anyone.

I'm sure she would like a plastic trumpet.
or a kazoo
and one of those musical birthday cards.

A vuvuzela?

I'm shocked that anybody would put a list in. I agree, stick a fiver in or buy moon sand. The mum is taking the piss.

I would send my child but go out of my way to choose something obviously not on the list and for good measure I'd wrap in the list with the red marker on it instead of the receipt.

I notice a local toy shop here has started putting birthday boxes together for kids. The birthday child puts things in the box in advance of the party and then guests presumably are to pick something out of the child's box to buy. Seems hideous manners to me.

A gift list like this is rude IMO.
But I am surprised at the level of vitriol against the mother. I'm a bit to see so many ppl calling her a bitch tbh. I mean, she's being presumtious and a bit controlling, not well mannered, but it's not like she's shagged your husband. Is it? Has she?
I think a small amount of cash in a card, some sweets, or a book token is lovely if the list doesn't inspire you.
Or just nothing?

The mother is being more than a little controlling though, she actually tracked down op last year for getting the 'wrong' present. Op is in a difficult position as the child is her dd friend. If this was just between adults she could tell her to fuck her list.

I didn't however call her a bitch, but I thought it!

fakebook that sounds like an awesome present!
I'm genuinely going to make a few of these baskets up for the crafty kids I buy for a Christmas.

I would splash out on two presents. One that you know DD's friend will like, and one basic book of manners for kids so she doesn't end up like her mother.

Sounds lovely, Fakebook, but that would cost more than £5.99.

I agree with Mummyblouse, just say, 'I don't buy off lists,' homemade card and book token for a fiver.

O.m.g

I second the Moonsand.

Sadly DCs can't help their mothers, DD1 is good friends at an extra curricular club with the DD of the Mum most deserving of the phrase "Did you mean to be so rude"

Her stuck up attitude and insistence her DD went to a totally different school to all her friend is not the poor girls fault.

I love fakebook's idea too.
You could scale it down if needed.

As someone suggested in another thread about such grabby list behaviour, buy an oxfam goat thing.

Just don't buy on the list. If she balks, tell her, 'I don't buy off lists. I think it's beyond rude to dictate to others what to buy as a gift.'

Sorry to hijack but What's so bad about moonsand?? I bought some for a friends DS last year, only well intended, but obviously went very wrong there! Do I owe her an apology?