To have 3 children sharing a bedroom?

[fedupandexhausted]

My eldest had a friend to play on Friday and told her she felt sorry for her because she has to share with her sisters.

They do moan abit sometimes as one is tidier than the others but generally is ok. We only have one bathroom which isn't prob at the moment but may be in the future??

We could afford a larger house but have decided against due to costs and hassle.

But, this comment is niggling me.....Aibu?

[Mimishimi]

We gave our two children the master bedroom upstairs in our flat. We could comfortably fit two or three more up there. It's nice to hear thrm chat each other to sleep.

[Trigglesx]

I see no problem with children sharing a room. I shared a room with at least one of my sisters until I was 16yo (at which point my older sisters were all off at university or living on their own, leaving just myself and my younger sister to have a room each). I enjoyed sharing a room, and honestly it just never occurred to me to complain about it or have a problem with it. It's just the way it was.

I am a bit disappointed to see all the people actually making unkind comments about how parents are irresponsible or horrible for having more children than bedrooms. Children can share, it's not generally a trauma. It's GOOD for children to learn to co-exist with people. Sure, there are ups and downs, but as long as the parents are making sure that groundrules are set, then it's just not a problem.

Personally I think the whole idea of "every child should have their own room" is over precious. How much time are they actually holed up in their room for heaven's sake that it's such an issue? They're in school during the day (except on the weekend), eating meals in morning and night, and even though they're in their rooms at night, they're asleep. So maybe a few hours a day tops. My sister and I had no problems both doing our homework in our room at the same time - we both liked music when we studied, but different types of music. That's what headphones are for. If one of us felt we needed privacy, the other could easily do homework in the living room, family room, or at the dining room table. There was always SOMEWHERE in the house to go for a bit of quiet.

I'd quite happily have DS1 and DS2 share a room together (they're 7yo and 4yo), however due to DS1's disabilities, it's impossible. I was actually sad over that, as I think they would have enjoyed sharing a room - I remember it quite fondly from when I was a child (and teenager).

[PatoBanton]

It sounds pretty ok to me OP - we have two bedrooms, I share the big one with ds2 (in his cabin bed) and ds3 (in my bed)

Ds1 has his own room, he is 10 - I think this is more important if the age gaps are large as they don't have so much in common and the little ones would really get in his way.

We will have to look at moving at some point because of this. But your three sound very close in age and interests so that sounds fine to me.

[PatoBanton]

I should say mine are 10, 6 and 9mo.

[jellybeans]

Mine have had loads of sleepovers and friends seem to love coming over. in fact I have parents ringing and asking if their kids can come over/sleepover again. As for study space, eldest DD can study in my room if she wants to get away from the others!

[mandi73]

By next March my 3 girls will be sharing a bedroom, they'll be 16, 7 and 1. We have a 3 bed house and 3 girls, 1 boy. My eldest keeps asking her brother to get a job and move out :)
But they'll survive, they all have their own area in the room.....well the baby doesn't yet.
And they'll just have to learn to be tidy hahaha
Could be worse I could've had twins :)

[PinkStarStuck]

I have 3 that actually choose to share, I was rather skeptical tbh, but they actually sleep better all in one room.

We have other space in the house for play or quite time.

If you posted on the 'credit crunch' board and asked if you should stretch yourself with a much bigger mortgage people would be telling you to stay put and manage.

[5madthings]

when we went on holiday the house we rented had enough rooms so that only two had to share, my boys were fighting over who would share as they didnt want to be in a room on their own!

[TombOfMummyBeerest]

Kids are supposed to share. Makes sense to start with their room.

My sister and I shared a room when we lived in a smaller house, and sometimes a bed. Even when we had our own rooms we'd sleep together in the bed from time to time. And we fought. But we'd still share.

I only have one DD at the moment, and she sleeps in my room with DH and me (albeit in her own crib). It's nice to wake up to both of them.

[Ragwort]

'Sleeping on your own is horrible' - only in your opinion jasmine, as I said earlier, I can't even sleep in the same room as my husband .

[BackforGood]

Even with large gaps picardi it doesnt matter. Its how you bring up your kids its down to the parents whether your kids grow up best friends or arch enemies, whatever the size of your house.

What a load of tosh.

[Doyouthinktheysaurus]

I shared with my dsis until my dbro left home when I was 16! It was the norm back in my day

My dses used to share but one now has the box room. They are quieter at bedtime being separate and as one is much more untidy that the other, they like having their own space to do as they choose.

All that we lost on giving them separate rooms was a junk room though. We wouldn't have paid to move or extend so they could have their own space, it costs too much.

I don't think sharing is a big deal at all really.

[fifi669]

I used to share bunk beds with my older brother and then later shared with one sister and then two. We were 16, 13, and 10 (the girls) by the time this ended. We had the master bedroom, a single bed for me and bunk beds for them.

It's left us with great memories, we'd all chat away in bed, hear my dads creaky knees and fall silent. Except the youngest who'd make it obvious my doing a pretty poor denoting impression! Christmas was especially good, opening stockings together etc.

That's not to say we didn't fight, of course we did!

Separate bedrooms are far from essential, though I must agree with an earlier post, somewhere to study is. If it's likely they'll all be hanging out in the room as opposed to the front room etc then you really could do with a little study or something.

[fifi669]

Denoting = snoring

[jasminerose]

Why backforgood? Your size of your house has very little to do with how happy a family is. Whether your house is big or small if the children are brought up to be family orientated then they usually remain close imo

[propertyNIGHTmareBEFOREXMAS]

If you can't really afford a nice house with enough bedrooms then they will have to keep on sharing. Don't give it anymore thought.

[BackforGood]

jasminerose - nothing to do with house sizes or sharing a bedroom, I agree, but all children are born with their own personalities.

My eldest 2 (who get on like a house on fire now they are 17 and 15) would have killed each other if they'd had to share. They have fought for the first 14 yrs of dd's life. However, same family, same parents, same upbringing- I also have dc3, who doesn't fight with either of them. If it were all down to parenting, then of course none of them would have fought with each other.
If you are ("one" is) lucky enough to have calm / placid / get on with everyone type children, then you probably claim it is your great parenting, in the same way that those who have babies who are great sleepers or children who are great eaters think it's all about the parenting.
Parenting does contribute to the overall child, but there's a healthy does of being the person you are born in there too, or of course all siblings would be alike wouldn't they ?

[jasminerose]

I wasnt thinking of myself when I said that. I was thinking of my parents who knew just how to make my brother and I grow up to be best friends and tell each other everything close types. My parents always stressed how important it was, so we grew up with their values.

[Trigglesx]

BackforGood as I had 3 sisters, I shared at one time with my younger sister (by 6 years) and then with my older sister (by 2 years). My older sister and I fought constantly. When my parents put us together to share a bedroom, they basically said "you will need to learn to get along." We did. We learned to compromise and although there was some fighting here and there, it did improve our relationship. My parents were very strict. I didn't even consider complaining - you just deal with it. That's life, hey. I am glad we shared the room.

[ringaringarosy]

backforgood maybe the reason they fought like cat and dog is because they didnt share?probably made them worse.

[QueenofKelsingra]

currently DS1 has his own room and DTs share. We are hoping to have another which will mean either DTD1 in her own room and DS1,2 &3 in together or DS1 and 2 in one and DDs 1 and 2 in the other depending on the gender of DC4!!

The bigger room is master bedroom size (easily fit super kingsize bed plus other furniture) so plenty big enough IMO for 3 boys if need be. If we end up with 2 DSs and 2 DDs the girls would get the bigger room and the boys in bunks in the smaller (good sized single) room.

that said, we do have a playroom, which will become their study room so they are not short on space if they need it. bedrooms would only be for sleeping and quiet time sulking

OP I definitely wouldn't give up a good garden for individual rooms, safe play space is more important IMO.

[jasminerose]

I agree triggles about the learning to get along. My mum and dad always used to say how important siblings were, and my brother and I do everything together even now despite a 4 year gap.

[whois]

By next March my 3 girls will be sharing a bedroom, they'll be 16, 7 and 1

Wow, really? I think that's really shit for the 16 year old actually. Where will she study? What about when she wants to get ready to go to a party or to a friends house but the baby is asleep? Or have friends round? Or even have any of her space at all.

I think you should share with the baby and leave the two older girls together. Quite selfish really.

[ALittleStranger]

Yep I agree with the previous poster. A 16, 7 and 1 year old in one room is very, very, unreasonable. That poor 16 year old.