To have 3 children sharing a bedroom?

[fedupandexhausted]

My eldest had a friend to play on Friday and told her she felt sorry for her because she has to share with her sisters.

They do moan abit sometimes as one is tidier than the others but generally is ok. We only have one bathroom which isn't prob at the moment but may be in the future??

We could afford a larger house but have decided against due to costs and hassle.

But, this comment is niggling me.....Aibu?

[Miabelle12]

Hi there,
Just looking for some advice really, I live in a 2 bedroom apartment with 3 children.. all girls.
My eldest is 13, middle 7 and youngest 1.
My eldest seems to be constantly stressed out with the other 2 and frustrated over getting quiet time for homework etc. I just wonder what are the guidelines to qualify for a 3 bedroom? I have searched the internet time and time again but only find guidelines for two children sharing, can anyone help? Thanks so much In advance for taking the time to help.

[gotthemoononastick]

I had three girls sharing.They fought like rattlesnakes sometimes.They had chalk lines designating their spaces.They read and sang in bed and told stories too.They are on three continents now and truly joined at the heart.

[WorrySighWorrySigh]

The OP has said that they could afford to move for more space but choose not to as they dont want the expense or the hassle.

This is fine so long as the children are happy. It stops being find and becomes selfish behaviour if the children arent happy.

For some children privacy is important, having a room that you can go to away from others does matter for some. This isnt about being granted some space to do X/Y/Z it is having space which is ones own.

The problem for older children is that if a room is normally shared then whenever they want some privacy there will be a gaggle of siblings outside the door saying What are you doing? That isnt privacy.

[Trigglesx]

I don't see that having a 16yo and a couple younger children in one room are an issue. If I had that situation, then I would let the 16yo go into my bedroom when they needed to study. It's really not that complicated.

[ringaringarosy]

surely it depends on the 1 yr old?maybe they sleep through,my first two never woke in the night once they got past about 6 weeks,personally i would keep the 1 yr old in my room too but i say that as someone who has plenty f rooms but still chooses to co sleep with at least 2 of them every night!

[Butwilliseeyouagain]

I feel bloody sorry for a 16 year old sharing with a 7 and 1 year old. That sounds shit.

[Akray]

Have 5DC. Baby in with me and DH. Other 4 have their own rooms with king size / super king beds and by choice, 3DD share a bed in one room - ages 11, 5 and 3 - they just seem to like snuggling up at night. DS has always liked his own space (age 8) and sleeps alone most of the time though occasionally 3year old will sleep beside him. Bedrooms just used for sleeping with all toys etc in playroom and as long as all sleeping and happy, they can sleep where they like . I think it's lovely that by choice they sleep together........

[5madthings]

I think age wise it could be a problem, I have 14 and 11 yr olds in one room and 8 and 5 year olds in another, that works fine but I wouldn't put a baby and one is a baby, in a too, with a teen.

[stopprocrastinating]

My mum grew up sharing a bedroom with her two sisters. She shared till she got married. Mum always enjoyed the company and it was the norm then (1950s). I think it's okay, but perhaps standards have changed?

[livinginwonderland]

Pretty much everything on MN is a first world problem

[ALittleStranger]

Yes and look around you amicissimma, I'm guessing you live in the first world. First world problems are problems here.

Oh well, your kids, your family's loss. But no child of mine etc. Seriously, I think it's shitty. And selfish of their parents, the baby doesn't stay with them but their near-adult daughter has to suffer? Nice!

[ifyourehoppyandyouknowit]

Shit for the 16 year old, presumably the 1 year old will still be waking in the fairly regularly? Why not just keep the one year old in your bedroom?

[ALittleStranger]

Yep I agree with the previous poster. A 16, 7 and 1 year old in one room is very, very, unreasonable. That poor 16 year old.

[whois]

By next March my 3 girls will be sharing a bedroom, they'll be 16, 7 and 1

Wow, really? I think that's really shit for the 16 year old actually. Where will she study? What about when she wants to get ready to go to a party or to a friends house but the baby is asleep? Or have friends round? Or even have any of her space at all.

I think you should share with the baby and leave the two older girls together. Quite selfish really.

[jasminerose]

I agree triggles about the learning to get along. My mum and dad always used to say how important siblings were, and my brother and I do everything together even now despite a 4 year gap.

[QueenofKelsingra]

currently DS1 has his own room and DTs share. We are hoping to have another which will mean either DTD1 in her own room and DS1,2 &3 in together or DS1 and 2 in one and DDs 1 and 2 in the other depending on the gender of DC4!!

The bigger room is master bedroom size (easily fit super kingsize bed plus other furniture) so plenty big enough IMO for 3 boys if need be. If we end up with 2 DSs and 2 DDs the girls would get the bigger room and the boys in bunks in the smaller (good sized single) room.

that said, we do have a playroom, which will become their study room so they are not short on space if they need it. bedrooms would only be for sleeping and quiet time sulking

OP I definitely wouldn't give up a good garden for individual rooms, safe play space is more important IMO.

[ringaringarosy]

backforgood maybe the reason they fought like cat and dog is because they didnt share?probably made them worse.

[Trigglesx]

BackforGood as I had 3 sisters, I shared at one time with my younger sister (by 6 years) and then with my older sister (by 2 years). My older sister and I fought constantly. When my parents put us together to share a bedroom, they basically said "you will need to learn to get along." We did. We learned to compromise and although there was some fighting here and there, it did improve our relationship. My parents were very strict. I didn't even consider complaining - you just deal with it. That's life, hey. I am glad we shared the room.

[jasminerose]

I wasnt thinking of myself when I said that. I was thinking of my parents who knew just how to make my brother and I grow up to be best friends and tell each other everything close types. My parents always stressed how important it was, so we grew up with their values.

[BackforGood]

jasminerose - nothing to do with house sizes or sharing a bedroom, I agree, but all children are born with their own personalities.

My eldest 2 (who get on like a house on fire now they are 17 and 15) would have killed each other if they'd had to share. They have fought for the first 14 yrs of dd's life. However, same family, same parents, same upbringing- I also have dc3, who doesn't fight with either of them. If it were all down to parenting, then of course none of them would have fought with each other.
If you are ("one" is) lucky enough to have calm / placid / get on with everyone type children, then you probably claim it is your great parenting, in the same way that those who have babies who are great sleepers or children who are great eaters think it's all about the parenting.
Parenting does contribute to the overall child, but there's a healthy does of being the person you are born in there too, or of course all siblings would be alike wouldn't they ?

[propertyNIGHTmareBEFOREXMAS]

If you can't really afford a nice house with enough bedrooms then they will have to keep on sharing. Don't give it anymore thought.

[jasminerose]

Why backforgood? Your size of your house has very little to do with how happy a family is. Whether your house is big or small if the children are brought up to be family orientated then they usually remain close imo

[fifi669]

Denoting = snoring

[fifi669]

I used to share bunk beds with my older brother and then later shared with one sister and then two. We were 16, 13, and 10 (the girls) by the time this ended. We had the master bedroom, a single bed for me and bunk beds for them.

It's left us with great memories, we'd all chat away in bed, hear my dads creaky knees and fall silent. Except the youngest who'd make it obvious my doing a pretty poor denoting impression! Christmas was especially good, opening stockings together etc.

That's not to say we didn't fight, of course we did!

Separate bedrooms are far from essential, though I must agree with an earlier post, somewhere to study is. If it's likely they'll all be hanging out in the room as opposed to the front room etc then you really could do with a little study or something.