To have 3 children sharing a bedroom?

[fedupandexhausted]

My eldest had a friend to play on Friday and told her she felt sorry for her because she has to share with her sisters.

They do moan abit sometimes as one is tidier than the others but generally is ok. We only have one bathroom which isn't prob at the moment but may be in the future??

We could afford a larger house but have decided against due to costs and hassle.

But, this comment is niggling me.....Aibu?

[havatry]

I'm guessing you didn't share as a dc - but could be wrong.

I shared with two sisters then one.

TBH it was fine up to about age 10, then awful. People just need a bit of privacy. It's nothing in particular, just time on your own.

If you can possibly change things, I would. It's a bit like - imagine you now - could you share a room with a work colleague or friend for any length of time? Me, I couldn't. It would be incredibly stressful.

It's the same when you're a teen. It's just your space. Which it isn't when there are other people in it.

[Byebyebucket]

I have 4 boys who share .... We have two sets of bunk beds in the room ... I never worry about it and it bugs me that people make comments about how children should have their own room.... I once questioned it after being worn down by comments and then i watched a documentary about families in Indonesia where large families were living in tin shacks ... That soon put it into perspective again .... They are loved and happy and have a roof over their heads ... Life happens outside of where they get a good night sleep and I don't over analyse it.....

[Byebyebucket]

I have 4 boys who share .... We have two sets of bunk beds in the room ... I never worry about it and it bugs me that people make comments about how children should have their own room.... I once questioned it after being worn down by comments and then i watched a documentary about families in Indonesia where large families were living in tin shacks ... That soon put it into perspective again .... They are loved and happy and have a roof over their heads ... Life happens outside of where they get a good night sleep and I don't over analyse it.....

[youarewinning]

Well my sisters 3 years younger than me and started her period before me - so not sure of relevance of that argument!

We did have separate rooms though. We shared until I was 11yo and we moved from a 3 to a 4 bed. My brothers 4 years younger than my sister. Most of my cousins shared and I was jealous!

[imip]

I have three sharing, dds 6, 5, and 3. They love it and it works for is. Dd1 is 20 months and shares with us. We have a 4br house, but (so far) we are all happy this way....

[WorrySighWorrySigh]

I guess you have to ask yourself where your priorities lie. While your DDs are happy then YANBU

However, if your DDs become unhappy with the situation will you move or will you prioritise cost and hassle over your DDs' happiness?

IMO it doesnt matter how many posters shared bedrooms it is down to whether your DDs are happy.

[bettykt]

I think sharing is fine, but rather than moving and losing your garden and drive could you possibly convert the loft or have a double storey extension? Cheaper than moving.......

[5madthings]

Yambu it's fine, we have five in a three bed, at the moment ds1 and ds2 share, and ds3 and ds4 share and dd is in with us.

At some point we will swop rooms so dd goes in with ds3 and ds4. We also have the option of extemding into the loft and there is space downstairs to extend, we'll, a sort of utility room that we may make into a bedroom, but all are happy.

Interestingly my ds4 went to a friends the other day and was horrified that his friend slept in a room in his won' ds4 thought that was really sad and offered to become his twin so they could share a room


It just depends on the individual family.

My sister and I and a room each but often chose to share.

[foreverchanging]

My 3 DDs share (7, 5 and 2). We live in a 2 bedroom house so they have to. It's not ideal but such is life.

[jasminerose]

I have shared with my my brother, 16 girl rooms in work and lived in bunk beds in a 1 bed with my best friend. None of that irritated me tbh.

[misdee]

We have 6 children in a 3 bed house. 3 girls in one room (13,11 and 7)
2 girls (4 and 1) and ds (2years) in the other. The girls room as a triple (3 high) bunk. Lots of space in that room. younger children's bedroom has a small bunk and cot in it.

When older, if needed, dh and I will go for a decent sofa bed in the lounge, and the children will go in twos.

ATM it's not an issue, as even the teenager loves sharing a bedroom. She recently hurt her ankle and couldn't climb to the top bunk easily, so topped and tailed with dd3 on the bottom bunk for two nights. Found them asleep together looking sweet.

[embracethemuffintop]

I had my own room, and my twin brothers shared. I desperately wanted to share with them but wasn't allowed for some reason. I also used to complain that everyone in the family got to sleep with someone else, but I was all alone. In the end, they put a sofabed in my brothers room and I was in there with them most nights. It was fun! As an adult I loathe sleeping alone - I co-sleep and I am not comfortable unless I have lots of people in bed with me. My 13 yo is the complete opposite. She has always needed her own space so has her own room. I say it is only a problem if your kids see it as a problem.

[SaucyJack]

I think it's down to the individual personalities involved.

My DD1 is a veryh poor sleeaper and my younger DD really suffers as a result.

However, I know friends who have 3 or 4 sharing a room with very little trouble.

[YouHaveAGoodPoint]

I don't see a problem with it as long as the kids are close'ish in age. It might be more tricky as they get older with homework but it's still ok with a bit of thought.
We have always had more bedrooms than kids but our kids always choose to share up until they were teens

[misdee]

www.billyoh.co.uk/category/summer-houses/. One of these will be our homework solution.

[WahIzzit]

I grew up in a three bed terraced, dparents in 1, dbrother the spoilt one in 1, and I shared the largest bedroom (it was pretty huge tbh) with my 3 dsisters and 1dbrother its amazing thinking back to how we did it. Was so much fun though, talking and playing games all night and dm shouting 'get to sleep'
We had my lovely late dgrandad in with us too at one point as he was unwell and moved in with us! Then one by one everyone moved out. Youngest dsis however disliked sharing so had her own room as soon as one was available. I think its a good idea to ask your dc what they want. You may choose to get a bigger house but they may still prefer to share rooms!

It DEFINITELY made us a closer family. When going back to my dparents, my dsisters and I still try and squeeze in 1 room to sleep. Bit difficult now though with dc of our own but they love it too!

[misdee]

When we had less children, dd1 had her own room for a while. And never slept in it!

[CointreauVersial]

I don't see any problem with 2, 3 or 4 sharing, as long as there is a big enough room.

I shared with 17 others in a big dormatory at boarding school between the ages of 11 and 14.

My DDs have a room each, but bunk up together every weekend, as they miss each other!

[ToTheTeeth]

Puberty isn't just about periods. She needs space to sulk, cry, wank, think. I think learning to be alone and having somewhere to go when you need to be alone is very important for adolescents.

You say you could afford an extra bedroom so I think you are being unreasonable to cram your kids in together to avoid "hassle".

[sarahtigh]

I was eldest of 5 in 3 bed house until went to uni at 18, still had to share in hols though, it was fine still friends etc with my sisters

as you have 3 DD instead of 2 bed house you would need 4 beds so they each have a room a 3 bed would still mean 2 sharing on a permanent basis it sounds like each has enough space provided elsewhere in house there is a table for quiet homework

at home we did homework in dining room while mum and dad kept 2 youngest occupied in living room until they went to bed at about 7.30-8pm

so long as eldest will have quiet place away from TV and noisy younger siblings its fine I can't see that a bigger house with parents worrying about money all the time is healthier, I believe in being straight with kids and just saying we can't afford it

[souperb]

If moving or creating more bedrooms is not feasible, why worry about the issue?

Some people need their own space and others are happy to live like a pile of hamsters. If changing the situation is possible, then see what sort of people your DDs are. There is nothing wrong with kids sharing bedrooms if either they need to or they like it. But the opinion of a DC's friend is no reason to change anything substantial.

[NicknameIncomplete]

It is all about respect and consideration.

If one needs time alone the others respect that & find something else to do.

If one of them is doing homework the others have to respect that & leave them to it.

I dont see the problem with kids sharing.

[TheBuskersDog]

I must admit I am quite surprised how many people on here have what would be considered large families (i.e. more than 3 children) in relatively small houses.

I know just for sleeping you can have four children in a room in bunks, but surely it gets very cramped in the communal rooms and it must be very difficult for anyone to have space to be alone e.g to work, listen to music or read in peace. I mean generally the more bedrooms a house has, the greater the number and size of other rooms, not to mention toilets, as they are designed to accommodate more people.

[OttilieKnackered]

I shared with two sisters til I was 12. I bloody hated it. I think the idea of an automatic idyllic closeness between siblings can be naive. It will obviously work for some, but I think if you can provide personal space, then you should do so.

I remember being achingly jealous of friends with their own rooms before I got one, and never quite getting over the joy of having my own room until I left home. I also used to question my parents' wisdom in having another child when they were only living in a two bedroom house.

I always wonder if the massive advocates of sharing had to share themselves. With separate rooms there is always the option of being alone if wanted/needed with just as much possibility of sharing time and experiences if that is desired.