To have 3 children sharing a bedroom?

[fedupandexhausted]

My eldest had a friend to play on Friday and told her she felt sorry for her because she has to share with her sisters.

They do moan abit sometimes as one is tidier than the others but generally is ok. We only have one bathroom which isn't prob at the moment but may be in the future??

We could afford a larger house but have decided against due to costs and hassle.

But, this comment is niggling me.....Aibu?

[jessieagain]

I remember being so jealous of a childhood friend who got to share a room with her 2 sisters. It was so much fun at their place!

[Xmasbaby11]

I wouldn't have 3 children if we they had to share a bedroom, though 2 is probably ok until around the age of 10. I do think it's important to have some privacy.

[Ragwort]

Personally I would think it would be hard, but then I am in the fortunate position of never having had to share a bedroom - and even now I usually sleep separately to my DH . I hate sharing bedrooms, if I go away with my mum or a girlfriend I would always insist on a single room! I am a very poor sleeper and find it hard to get to sleep if someone else is in the same room.

My DS is an only child so has never had to share but he enjoys sharing at sleepovers and when he goes away on PGL, camps that sort of thing.

To me, privacy is very, very important - children need somewhere quiet to do homework/hobbies etc in peace but then everyone is different

[cestlavielife]

if you happy and they happy it's no big deal.
if you have a big garden you could install a nice big year round garden room/garden office for around 10,000 as homework space etc - might be cheaper than moving costs.

[TheBuskersDog]

This is England. 6 bedroom houses have one bathroom!

If I was buying a 6 bedroom house because I needed 6 bedrooms I would want more than one bathroom, if I didn't need all the bedrooms I would turn one into another bathroom.

[CointreauVersial]

Even though my DCs now have a bedroom each, they are rarely in their rooms during the day.

[VenusDeWillendorf]

Move house, get them their own rooms.

Fwiw play dates are a nightmare if friends are all sharing rooms with siblings.
I never let my dd for eg go to a house where a sister shares with an older brother (two of my Dds friends share with older brothers 12 yo) the boys are all going through puberty, and the girls are subjected to comments.

I think it's very irresponsible to have so many kids with too little room for them. They need their own space. Kids are not battery hens.

I never had a room or any space to myself when I was growing up and I hated sharing. One sister was in her own room and the next two shared the box room- it was awful. The sister I shared with was very messy and it was a nightmare when studying.


Move to a bigger house- even if the bedrooms are all box rooms, it's a better solution than making them share.

[jellybeans]

YANBU. My 3 DS will share when DS goes in with brothers. Biggest room and triple bunks and it is fine. My 2 DDs share too. They sometimes argue but on the whole are fine. We have the smallest room. We would rather stay where we are in a great location than move. Own rooms are a luxury and generally only happen in smaller families. Most people with 4 or 5 kids would have some sharing.

[PeppiNephrine]

Yeah, Op, just move house. Cos its that easy.

YABU to listen to the shit other people come out with, on here and in real life. Most of them either haven't got a clue what they are talking about anyway. These ridiculous comments about how you can't have kids sharing in case one of them sees tampons belonging to another...what planet do they live on?

Live your life, and pay no attention to what anyone else thinks.

[morethanpotatoprints]

I shared with my 2 sisters until we moved we would have been about 14, 11 and 8 or thereabouts.
It was good sometimes but it was good to have own space eventually.
I can't say it was bad growing up though, most of the time it was good fun sharing and we got up to all sorts of mischief, had pillow fights, chatted till late, etc.

[Butwilliseeyouagain]

I shared and loathed the lack of personal space one I was a teenager. Fucking loathed it. For me it's really important my dc have their own room.

[vole3]

I shared a bedroom with my parents until I was 10 when the youngest of my brothers left home. Prior to that, they had shared with a single and a pair of bunk beds in the other bedroom.
That arrangement also worked for my half-siblings, the only difference being my half sister slept on a sofa bed in the lounge until she married and moved out as by then my brothers were toddlers and were in with my parents.

It literally was a case of 1 in, 1 out for a decade.

[ThePost]

I presume most of the posters in relationships share a room with their DP without issue?
Children sharing a bedroom is not a big deal, OP.

[jasminerose]

Sleeping on your own is horrible. All 4 if us often sleep in the same room in our place.

[bigkidsdidit]

Study space is important though, I think, especially quiet space in secondary school. We're planning to move when ds1 is 13 ish so they can have separate rooms; if that turns out not to e possible we'll have to put a desk somewhere to make a study space for him.

[pumpkinsweetie]

Nothing wrong with siblings sharing

I remember growing up in a 5 bedroom large house, but guess what me and my bro & sis prefered to all sleep in the same room although we had the choice of our own rooms.
I have 4 dc and 3 of them choose to share one room although i have 3 bedrooms as they love to play and spend time together

Moral of the story don't get into debt, i'm sure they are happy enough!

[gemdrop84]

If they're happy sharing so be it! And if you don't have anymore rooms what can you do?! I shared with my 2 sisters, Im the eldest. It was fine until I got to about 12 then it was hell. They were messy, used to take my stuff, I really hated not having any privacy whatsoever. I think I was the only one at uni that didn't get homesick! Loved having my own room, it was bliss after sharing for so long.

[jasminerose]

Surely there is loads of quiet time? There always us in here no one is going to be all in all the time.

[MrsMook]

We've put two beds in DS1's new bedroom so sharing is an option even though it's not necessary.
Most of the DNs have shared rooms for a few years while growing up through choice. DH was 1 of 5 in a 3 bed house so the 3 boys had one room and 2 girls in another.
My cousins had 3 in one and 1 in the box room until they had an extension when the oldest was 15. I loved staying with them and being 4 in a room.

[PicardyThird]

OP, going back to your earlier post about having to sacrifice a big garden if you moved - that would clinch it for me - I would pick big garden over one room each for the dc any day.

My two (8 and 6) share. It's easy IMO because of small age gap and same gender (both boys). We don't have an option for them not to share, but I don't think they would take it if we did, tbh. I would suspect the main issue wrt sharing comes when age gaps are significant (by that I mean 5y+).

[5madthings]

Fwiw play dates are a nightmare if friends are all sharing rooms with siblings.I never let my dd for eg go to a house where a sister shares with an older brother (two of my Dds friends share with older brothers 12 yo) the boys are all going through puberty, and the girls are subjected to comments.


well you sound lovely ...not. the issue of 'comments' as you put it, from older brothers, is to do with parenting not the fact they share a room.


fwiw kids enjoy coming to ours to play as its fun and i often have more than one child round. my elder children (14 and 11) are very good with younger children, their siblings and their friends.

making crappy generalisations and judgements doesnt do anyone any favours.


and re house being cramped, no our living room is the length of the housr, we have a dining room as well and its big enough for a big table that we all sit round to eat as well as space for pc unit etc. we also have conservatory and front and back gardens.


the idea that children should have one bedroom each is a very new idea. and most people round the world would laugh at the idea that own bedrooms are an essential.

[jasminerose]

Even with large gaps picardi it doesnt matter. Its how you bring up your kids its down to the parents whether your kids grow up best friends or arch enemies, whatever the size of your house.