To have 3 children sharing a bedroom?

[fedupandexhausted]

My eldest had a friend to play on Friday and told her she felt sorry for her because she has to share with her sisters.

They do moan abit sometimes as one is tidier than the others but generally is ok. We only have one bathroom which isn't prob at the moment but may be in the future??

We could afford a larger house but have decided against due to costs and hassle.

But, this comment is niggling me.....Aibu?

[usualsuspect]

It's not that big a deal,plenty of siblings have to share a bedroom.

Not everyone is in a position to extend or move.

[stooshe]

Have I missed the memo/ Children sharing bedrooms is something that is potentially wrong, now? God cry!

[mizu]

My two DDs will probably never have their own bedroom. We rent and hope to buy in a year or so but doubt we will ever be able to afford to have a 3 bed house.

Luckily they are very close in age.

[bigkidsdidit]

We're moving next year and hoping to get a flat with fewer bedrooms, from a big house to a smaller flat, so we can live right by the seafront with a good school and a beautiful place rather than a soulless house. So we're choosing our boys to share. I am looking forward to it, I shared with my sister and liked it, I think it's lovely for siblings to share :)

[BackforGood]

Well, to be fair, If I met someone who was sharing with two siblings, I too would feel sad for them (having had to share with my 2 sisters growing up, when it was a lot more common than it is now, and not liking it at all) but needs must and all that.
If you've only got the two bedrooms, then that's all you've got - it's not like you are making them share and then got a hobby room of some sort that could be used as a bedroom, I presume ? (If you have, then I think YABU )

[jasminerose]

They will probably grow up and be best of friends as so close now. Dont worry.

[bigTillyMint]

I don't think it's a big deal - if you haven't got the space, then needs must. I'm guessing it's a 2-bedroomed place you have?

It might become more of an issue when they are all teens.

[SummerHoliDidi]

I shared with my brother and sister til I was 11 and then we converted the loft for my brother. I then carried on sharing with my sister til I left home at 18. Apart from the year I shared with grandma and brother shared with sister, that was my least favourite year.

We quite liked sharing, it was fun having someone to talk to.

[HerrenaHarridan]

Y'know, I loved being an only child

Hth

[TheSydenhamSet]

Our three, 5yo ds, 3yo dd and 18month old ds share a bedroom (the master bedroom). It works really well!

[festered]

I would say if they're happy that's the most important thing. If as she gets older, the oldest wants some space then rethink but she may never do, depends on what your children are like personally.


I think I would have hated to share a room as a child but that's an opinion of an only child!Had I been accustomed to that and had brothers/sisters I reckon I could have been quite happy, a lot of my friends always were. :)

[randomAXEofkindness]

It would be embarrassing for her e.g. to have her 7 yo sister asking what her sanitary towels and tampons are for.

I suppose this would depend on the family. My 4 year old already knows what tampons and sanitary towels are because she comes into the bathroom with me. I think I'd feel like I'd gone wrong somewhere if she was embarrassed about anything like that. Same goes for getting changed - I can't imagine siblings feeling the need to hide their bodies from each other unless they'd learned to be ashamed of themselves.

I am drawn towards sharing. We're sociable animals, I can't believe we'd thrive better alone in little boxes.

Maybe her little guest said that because she has a poor relationship with her own siblings.

[ringaringarosy]

why would youhave to explain what sanitary towels are to a 7 yr old?surely they would know?why make it into an embarrassing thing?my 3 yr old knows what they are for!

[ringaringarosy]

oh and my 3 eldest,who are 3 4 and 5,all have seperate rooms but choose to sleep in the same one every night!

[WilsonFrickett]

YANBU at all. Why stretch yourselves financially just so DCs can have a room each? I do think, however, if there's any way of adding a bathroom to your house you should do it. I don't fancy your chances of getting three teenage girls plus two adults through one bathroom and out the door every morning without world war three on a daily basis

I would prioritise that over separate bedrooms tbh.

[foreverondiet]

I think fine for the girls to share - esp as quite close in age. Don't agree necessarily need privacy at puberty - thats what bathroom is for, and anyway, only 3 years between oldest and youngest, might be different say 3 girls aged 10,5 and 1.

However, I would guess that all three of them would prefer, all things being equal, their own rooms. My DD has her own room (she has two little brother) and she would easily say either of:

a) I feel sorry for you as you have to share with your little sisters
b) I am very jealous of you as I only have 2 little (annoying) brothers

Don't read into the comment.

[CreatureRetorts]

My two share (ds and dd) - they could have separate bedrooms - I like them sharing and they like sharing. When they get older, we will revisit the arrangements but ok for now.

[BergholtStuttleyJohnson]

Of course yanbu! Nothing wrong with siblings sharing a room at all. I never had my own room, I shared with each of my siblings at some point but from age 6 or so mostly just shared with my younger sister, she's two years younger so I hit puberty before her, wasn't an issue at all. She already knew about puberty anyway. We shared until I left home at 19. I love her to bits, she's my best friend. We had the option of having separate rooms in our teens after older siblings moved out but we chose to share.

[LoveWine]

It would be embarrassing for her e.g. to have her 7 yo sister asking what her sanitary towels and tampons are for.

Isn't the bathroom whee you keep sanitary towels and tampons? Surely, that's where you change them as well. Is that's the case why does it make a difference if two girls share a room? I shared a room with my brother until I left for university! never had a problem or felt the need to be embarrassed.

[Jan49]

I'd be interested to know why you had 3 dc when you only have one bedroom for them, or did you circumstances change? You say you've decided against a larger house due to cost, but did you consider the practicalities and costs when you chose to have 3 dc?

I grew up as one of 3 dc sharing a room with my elder sister and I hated it. I wondered why my parents had 3 of us when IMO they didn't have enough space. It caused particular problems when I reached my teens and it became clear that I could no longer fit a junior single bed but the room could barely fit 2 singles. My parents ended up switching bedrooms with me and my sister as the alternative was for my sister and me to have the beds in the room with the door jammed permanently open - no space to close it - or the beds so close together that to walk across the room you had to climb over beds. (I'm not sure if bunk beds existed then). I remember my mum being quite unhappy about the situation.

I shared til I went to uni and vowed I'd never have a child I didn't have a bedroom for. In fact I only had one child. But of course, if it works for your dc, then that's fine.

[frogspoon]

Isn't the bathroom whee you keep sanitary towels and tampons? Surely, that's where you change them as well. Is that's the case why does it make a difference if two girls share a room? I shared a room with my brother until I left for university! never had a problem or felt the need to be embarrassed.

Depends on your home. We always had a small bathroom with not enough cupboard space for sanitary protection, so it was always kept in our own bedrooms (this also avoided the issue of who stole the last sanitary towel!)

I can see how if these were kept in the bathroom this would not be an issue at all, but if they are kept in the bedroom, an insecure pre-teen may be a little sensitive about it.

Do your currently have a quiet space to do homework that is separate from play area? When oldest DD goes into secondary school, she will likely be spending an hour or two on homework and will need a quiet place where she is not disturbed by happily playing younger DDs who have finished their shorter amount of work.

[PomBearWithAnOFRS]

I have four of my five DCs still living at home, and we have a 3 bed semi. When my pfb also lived here, we had 2 teenage boys in one room (and pfb's fiancee for about 6 months until they got their own place too), my no3 son and DD in the 6ft square box room, and no4 son in my room in a cotbed until he was five although he usually ended up in with me.
Once pfb (and fiancee) moved out, we moved no3 and no4 son in with teenage no2 son - they have bunks and a single, and DD has the box room to herself. She was reaching the age where she needed her own space so the boys had to share.
Now they are 19, almost 9 and almost 7, and DD is 11 and it works for us - well, it has to work, there is nowhere else for any of them to go until the Glorious Day no2 son manages to get himself a place of his own, and who knows when that will be, given the current economic situation