to really hate this couple?

[Reality]

This is just a rant, really. They were in my dream last night so I've been stewing on it this morning.

I thought they were friends of ours, his wife was (I thought) my best friend but with hindsight they were just users, they used to come here for dinner and drinks almost every weekend and leave their DD here, for example, the favour was never returned.

When we were planning our wedding, they asked me if their DD could be a bridesmaid and if he could be our photographer (he isn't a professional, just a hobbyist), a few months down the line they said, oh as payment for being your photographer you can pay for our room at the hotel. I have no idea why I went along with this but I think I genuinely thought they had our best interests at heart and were doing us a favour. The room was about £250 I think, a family room for them and their DD. We also invited her parents (and paid for a meal etc) as they asked us to.

So, the wedding photos were predictably awful, we had a list of family shots we wanted and none of them happened, I have no photos of my sisters at my wedding, for example, and loads of photos of his wife and DD.

He spent a good ten minutes staging a shot that made it look like DH was snogging my mother (with the camera angle), and fucking PHOTOSHOPPED one of DH and my mum dancing to move DH's hand onto my mum's arse. These were the shots he was most proud of and plastered them all over Facebook.

We had to wait about six months for any copies of our photos, and he charged us a fortune for some framed shots, it's only now I work for a print company that I realise how much he ripped us off on those. We asked him literally every weekend for a good six months about the photos before he eventually gave us a disc with them on, and arranged the framed prints at the same time. He charged us £100 for each print, they were framed in plastic frames from Wilkos.

So as not to dripfeed, this is the man who broke into my house and assaulted me while I slept, a couple of years after the wedding. We obviously dont' see him any more and he was arrested for it although not charged. She hasn't spoken to me since and 'can't forgive me' for calling the police. She blanks me at school and Scouts although still has a cheery hello for DH.

So obviously I have that context to it. But I am fixating on the wedding stuff this morning. I am really fucking angry about it and need to have a big old AIBU rant.

They are cunts, aren't they? Or is it me?

[Reality]

That's me, I'm not childminding any more though. I'm in a fab new job in sales that I'm really enjoying, I think as Kotinka says its' all that change which is prompting me to reveiw stuff, I've had mad dreams about this and about my horrible exH and his horrible wife too recently, again with them apologising to me.

It's like my brain is trying to put my house in order.

I do think counselling is my next step.

[Reality]

'bit of a coper' just about sums me up actualy, it's kind of my thing.

I'm probably due a breakdown, it's been about seven years since my last one

[Groovee]

What horrible pieces of work some so called friends have been on this thread! Reality, I remember your thread where the bastard assaulted you. I didn't realise he's been a "photographer" too.

Hoping Karma kicks their butts soon.

[Reality]

xx

[sweetestcup]

Congratulations on the new job! Sometimes its easy to think we can just "carry on" especially when its over things we cant control, like your cunty ex friends and dodgy wedding photos. Dont let the "oh its in the past move on" mentality overwhelm you - yes these things are true but sometimes we need a wee bit of help in coming to terms with issues. no bad thing - we can also learn a lot about ourselves through therapy.

[MrsGeologist]

They are a big smelly shower of bastards, and you're well shot.

Counselling sounds like a good idea, it's a lot to deal with.

[yegodsandlittlefishes]

I can recommend counselling too, but it does help to put this kind of thing into words, too. This is a good thing to dohope it helps.

[yegodsandlittlefishes]

Surely you could tell the schools and scout leaders and so on?

[AlpacaPicnic]

If ever there was a need for a rant, this would be it. They are twats of the highest order. Cunts the pair of them. They deserve everything that ever comes their way.

If this was a novel, you wouldn't believe anyone could be that much of a dick.

I think this is the most I have ever swore (sworn?) on mumsnet.

[AmazingBouncingFerret]

Deffo counselling chuck.

I never knew that about your wedding photos, The painting boffy's DH did is amazing and all the more beautiful now I know the reason it was painted.

Make today all about you, make some really good food and just sit and relax.

[Reality]

They are 'pillars of the community' types, she is a school governer, he's a scout leader, they do lots of charity stuff and are very well known locally. I feel like I would be judged for smearing their good name, kind of thing. My friends and family have no such qualms however and bring it up in public a lot. I know several people who removed their children from his Scouts.

My Dad was all chummy with them at a recent thing and my Mum didn't speak to him for a week . I dont'; blame my Dad, it's very difficult.

[AlpacaPicnic]

Actually - could you write it down as a novel? Then sell it for squillions and have it made into a film starring Julia Roberts as you and Cillian Murphy as your DH and someone repulsive as them... I dunno - Timothy Spall does a good 'slimy twat' maybe?

And kill them off at the end of the film

[AnyFucker]

They are Mr and Mrs Cunt of Cunt Street, Cuntford.

[Growlithe]

What shouts out to me about ths is that though you had these absolutely awful people in your life, you had other friends who took good photos and did the painting, and you had the police officer who sounded like he or she did their utmost to try to get him charged.

For all the negativity there were some lovely positive people in this too. Try to focus on them.

[Rhinosaurus]

Wtf is someone who was arrested for assault doing working with scouts? Surely it would show in his CRB?

But yes, proper cunty cunts of the highest order, silly cow - who does she think she is blanking you when she has chosen to stay with her disgusting cunting pervert of a husband?!

[yegodsandlittlefishes]

I love the novel idea!

[AlexReidsLonelyBraincell]

Bloody Hell, what a pair of utter fuckers! I remember your thread about that cunty excuse of a man assaulting you, awful.

I tend to dwell on negative 'incompleted' parts of my life when everything else is going well. Sometimes I feel like my brain does not want me to be happy. :) a previous poster's explanation sums it up in a much more rational sense though.

I hope you're feeling better about things soon, our dreams are one thing we can't control unfortunately.
Imagine being her, being married to him, I bet there's more going on behind that smug, shiny facade than she'd like you to know.
It's twee but I do believe that living well and happily is the best revenge on twunts like that.
It kills them to see you happy and it kills them that they can't twist the knife or affect you as you've removed them from your lives.

[TheProsAndConsOfHitchhiking]

Rant away. I remember the thread about him letting himself in whilst leaving dp at the pub :(

They ARE CUNTY CUNTS and you are so much better off without people like that in your life.

[DanglingChillis]

I love AlpacaPicnic's idea, very cathartic. I can see why people are recommending councilling, but, you know what, you are completely right to be angry with these awful people. If it's affecting you then get councilling to help with that but if it's 'healthy' anger then rant away on here.

[yegodsandlittlefishes]

I never hear about this kind of thing. I would hate to think that this is someone I know or have known.

I suppose they really know what they are. I doubt they get any real satisfaction from the 'good works' they do, just makes them feel a bit less guilty sometimes. It is still horrible to think of people like that making decisions or being in positions of responsibility in the community. I would take my kids out of his scouts too. Id not want her as school govenor either.
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[mysticminstrel]

They are awful.

Do you know what I think you should do, though? And please nobody flame me for this, I am genuinely trying to be constructive.

Have a think about why you let them walk all over you and how you can stop that happening with anybody else in the future.

Things like this: "We also invited her parents (and paid for a meal etc) as they asked us to" jump out from your OP. You need to learn to stand up for yourself.

I think you'll find it easier to move on from the whole thing if you can use the awful things that happened to make you stronger and protect you from this stuff. Then you won't feel so helpless and angry still?

Obviously, I'm not referring to him assaulting you, which is absolutely shocking and in no way anything you could have done anything about.

But the walking all over you about your wedding stuff - how are you going to make sure nobody treats you like that again?

[Reality]

I don't know. I am a bit of a pushover with stuff, I know this. Luckily most people in my life are genuine good guys (these days).

DH and I were talking this morning about how fucked up my family dynamic is, it all stems from that I'm sure. I'm actually a bit scared of what therapy would uncover,iI have worked very hard at being generally awesome but it's a fragile veneer.