To be outraged by children's centre

[quertas]

I've just received a letter from my local children's centre congratulating me in the birth of my baby (well he was born 3 months ago so thanks but the moment for congrats has rather passed) and stating that 'an appointment has been made' for next tues (letter arrived today) for someone to come and visit me at home to tell me about the services at the children's centre. Aibu to see this as a bloody liberty and to wonder where the actual fuck this person gets off inviting herself into my home?

Chipping - quite often a family who are suspicious of social services involvement and don't want to engage with services would for example accept a nursery place for their 2 year old. Then there is someone seeing that child/family several times a week, the parent builds a relationship with the staff, they have a family support worker they trust and might agree to do a parenting course or bring the baby to a group the family support worker is running. It works precisely because the CC staff aren't social workers.

Chipping. Now I have calmed down apologies for the tone of my post, but I stand by what I meant - if you know what I mean.

Chipping Child protection is everyone's responsibility. The parents may be more open to someone who is not a social worker. Many people are suspicious of social workers. If they get through the door, they can assess the environment. I think this is a good idea.

No one is saying it will prevent child abuse but support for parents is a good thing. Honestly, does is take that long to cancel a meeting? It's not just about child abuse either, what about a depressed mother who is too anxious to get out of the house and needs a helping hand? Some people have no access to internet and no support. So what, it's not helpful for you, it is for other people!

Beertrickspotter. I have never had a cc worker " assess the environment" when they have visited. They have told us about services and also provided some fantastic support when needed.

I think people need to chill out more about what they think they cc are doing and concentrate on what they are actually doing.

I do think a lot of the people being affronted by this probably aren't the same ones who would benefit from the CC's services.

Beertrickspotter. What I also meant to add was we wish they had have "invited themselves round" when we had our twins. It would have saved time and would have been nice to have a friendly face offering advice and support.

CC workers of course can assess the family's needs, and if they environment is particularly unsafe then would know how and where to refer concerns to.

Hettienne. I think that is a polite way if saying they think they are better parents than those who need the services of a cc. And they ate the ones who take offence!

I agree about the assessment hetienne, but that isn't their primary reason for being there

They're not going to do assessments but they will notice if the place stinks or is shockingly filthy. Some people are just looking for a reason to be offended. I would expect anyone working with children to be aware of basic safeguarding.

I find it concerning that there are people who see a woman not wanting to "engage" with the children's centre, as a cause for concern.

Some people don't like joining in with stuff.
If you are like OP and already have a child/children you might well not want or need this stuff or indeed have the time to go along.

In the OP's case they are trying to flog stuff you have to pay for which sounds more like a sales pitch (bounty woman style) than anything altruistic.

I agree with BeerTricks that in all the tragic cases in the news in that last few years the families were known to social services and what needs to be addressed is how tragedies like this can happen with families who are known to the relevant authorities, and how to improve matters.

They send medical records to children's centres without explicit consent? What?

I filled in a form, quite happily, with contact details and birth dates. I would never consent to giving NHS records, as I know how difficult data protection is, and there is no need for them to know anything medical about my children and their birth.

I also had PND / anxiety after the birth of my children and this letter would have utterly terrified me.

It's not true to say that only parents who are coping well would react badly to this letter. I am not the only one on the thread who has said they would react like that either.

In our area you get MW and HV visit you at home after a baby and one of them (I forget which) gave info about what was on at our local centre and leaflet. Fine. I think a lot of people haven't picked up that the OP said most of the stuff at her centre you have to pay for which changes the "flavour" of the visit from giving out info to sales pitch.

NiceTabard You are naïve if you think that community support and extra services will not go a way in aiding social workers in preventing more tragedies occurring.

It's unlikely that most of the stuff going on at the centre is paid for tbh. More likely is that the type of activities that tend to attract middle class, coping parents who just want something to do with their babies/toddlers (like baby massage or baby sign) have to be self-funding, while the real family support work is targetted and by referral. No Children's Centre would just get away with running some nice playgroups these days - they actually have to show they are being effective.

Did you all see the child in the news who died of starvation. Did you see the pics of where he lived? I don't care how much as parents we get offended by this. If it means some children are saved, sorry our delicate dispositions will just have to deal with it.

hetienne OP said that 75% of stuff at her centre is paid for and I've got no reason to think she's lying.

Candy what you are responding to is not what I actually said.

75% of the stuff they advertise. It's likely that a lot of the stuff they don't advertise is by referral - maybe groups for families where a partner is in prison, recovering drug users, programmes aimed at overweight toddlers or families that have experienced domestic violence, asylum seekers or those facing deportation.

Then they aren't going to be telling her about that stuff when they come and see her, presumably.

So it's a sales pitch. I imagine these places have to get bums on seats in a big way these days to raise money / get funded.

They don't know that yet though do they? Lots of parents will tell you things when you visit them at home that they wouldn't just drop by and tell the receptionist. For all the CC know they will turn up and the OP will tell them she used to be addicted to heroin, or her older 3 children have been taken into care and she is massively anxious because this baby is her last chance of keeping one, or her husband has just been deported and she doesn't know anyone in the area. Or she could be perfectly fine and they'll leave her a leaflet about cheap baby massage and tell her what day the HV runs baby clinic there.

And "bums on seats" for the paid for stuff really isn't going to be a priority for a Children's Centre, and certainly isn't the aim of trying to do these visits. Many CCs aren't doing any open access stuff anymore as the aim of CCs has changed and narrowed with this govt. Funding, Ofsted etc is only interested in how CCs are targetting particular groups and demonstrating their effectiveness at helping people. "14 mums came to baby yoga this week" isn't going to get them anywhere.

Children's centre workers aren't the front line in family work though are they?

She has been through midwives, HV, GP.
Already has one child so is "in the system" and may be in contact with a preschool / school.

Stuff about drug abuse / partner in prison etc is all asked my midwife when you're pg and MW & HV are supposed to look for signs that all is not well presumably?

Don't see why a woman would suddenly open up to a person who is talking about baby massage classes for £x a pop, if she has chosen not to do so to GP, MW, hospital people if not a home birth & HV. Especially as those people are trained to ask questions and listen to responses to draw that type of info out.

If she has issues like previous children in care, ex dug addict then services will be aware and presumably offering appropriate support / keeping an eye on her.

This thread is strange.