To refer to a black man as a black man

[ShakeRattleNRoll]

The other day i was talking about this black man who lives down the road to a neighbour and she said it was politically incorrect of me to say 'you know that black man who lives there' after I had said it.I thought well i never.What's wrong with calling him a black man when he is a black man? How should have I described him? TYIA

We're all different.

And we're all people.

I think it'd be a bit ridiculous NOT to emphasise difference. Most of us say it as we see it. If I were standing amongst a group of Asian &/or white women, say, and someone across the room wanted to know who Dee is and it was said 'the black woman' then I wouldnt be offended by that. Id be offended if black was said in negative, derogatory fashion. Reversing it, Id do the same if pointing out a white woman amongst a group of black women. It would be automatic I very probably wouldnt put thought into saying 'the woman in the red dress' instead..although I suppose I could. But it just wouldnt come to mind 1st and Id be surprised if that were found to be negative..its simply using the simplest visible form of identification.

I feel a little sorry for Fifi, it can take a while to really get the point of what you are saying and I dont mean that in a rude way. I don't find life a PC mine field, people who say that surely have some awful views to air? But I always thought people making adverse about white people as racist and unfair but then like josie upthread I had the realisation that I didnt have a bloody clue what real racism was and felt like. The chocolate dad thing I cant really comment and im sure you mean no harm in it but I dont know what is like to raise mixed race children to be secure and positive about both their backgrounds for that i'd defer to Mrs DeVere. I will say this though (slightly off topic) that I was schooled in a very multicultural area and the mixed race children sometimes struggled the most as the white kids didnt always see them as 'one of them' and a lot of the time that black girls didnt either calling them 'half breeds' an awful term I havent heard before or since. I guess my point is that you're going ro have to think about how you are going to be this role model to your future child fifi and it wont be as easy as being so dismissive when they come across intolerance and racism

• I meant it can take a while to get the point of what other posters are telling you

I don't want to be told I'm either black or white, because I'm neither.

Who's telling you that?

Ok I'm biting. I am a good role model for DS. I work hard, I also study, we play, we read, I have friends from all classes, backgrounds, sexualities and whatever else there is. I don't discriminate.

The sense of humour that I have and that of my family and DP may not be the same as anyone else's but we're happy with it. I was brought up being told outrageous lies about money trees, that my nan had a glass eye, the moon was made of cheese etc. Originally the joke was made as DP are so much chocolate everyday that he'd end up being it, then we realised he actually was the same colour. We laughed a lot. Obviously DS only being 2 was a bit confused at first, now he says silly mummy. It's not a big deal.

Will DP be analysed over his parenting skills for making a joke about his own colour?

It actually hurts when my family life is questioned. I honestly never believed that comments over the internet could affect me, but it has. DP has asked me not to comment on this thread any longer as it's just got nasty and neither of us understand why.

Sorry I thought your DS was white, apologies if I got that wrong. I'm not trying to upset you nor do I think you are a bad person/mother just wanted to share how I came to understand what the other posters were trying to say on similar threads. You can get upset over what people say on the Internet that is totally normal and has happened to me too

fifi - some of the posters on this thread are well known for trying to upset people. They get a kick out of it and then give each other virtual pats on the back. They spend their lives on here.

I say it as I see it DeVere!

No one's ever given me a virtual pat on the back, fuckers

Is that my virtual pat mrs de vere?

Fanks

Thanks fruity that's exactly how it feels, going to hide the thread now. It's really taken it out of me, off to the land of nod I go....

When you have to resort to calling MrsDeVere of all people a bully you know your argument is done

Pretty much what Amber said.

And for the record, I am not part of some back patting clique. I post my own views. If some posters happen to pop up on similar threads that might just mean they are concerned about the same issues. Just a thought.