To refer to a black man as a black man

[ShakeRattleNRoll]

The other day i was talking about this black man who lives down the road to a neighbour and she said it was politically incorrect of me to say 'you know that black man who lives there' after I had said it.I thought well i never.What's wrong with calling him a black man when he is a black man? How should have I described him? TYIA

If your DP (or you) want to knock yourself out and pretend he's made of chocolate then its entirely up to you. Personally I am more cautious about it having an impressionable child and fear many people vastly underestimate the casual use of language as a way of reinforcing unhealthy stereotypes either deliberately or inadvertantly.

As a parent who has struggled with the real effects of the media and societies stereotypes re skin colour , I would be reluctant to take the line of "Ha ha look at the funny black man he's made of chocolate" as a positive statement in any way. Perhaps when you have a child of a similar colour you will understand... or maybe not.

AS for the old chestnut of "But I call myself White is that racist?" - its kinda hard to put people in their "place" by using a skin colour shared by the majority of the country we live in - strength in numbers and all that, where the vast majority of politicians, business leaders, teachers, royalty etc in fact the majority of people with wealth and power are all that colour. You can't really think for a second that anyone would read the same message into labelling someone "white" as a descriptor.

I do hope you're not assuming that we're all white and middle class because we can string a sentence together? Because that would be... well... just a teensy bit racist (and classist if you want to go there too).

People on the thread have tended (I thought) to state as a black woman, or my DH is black.... I assumed, perhaps wrongly, that if people hadn't empathised their point by speaking of their own circumstances that they were indeed white. Bugger all to do with education.

As I said DP isn't black. He's brown and happens to be the exact shade of cadburys and eats a ridiculous amount of chocolate which is actually how the joke originated.

All posters will be assumed white unless otherwise explicitly stated, hmm?

On this particular thread your point would be made better if you state you are posting because of your own skin colour you would personally feel x, y, z. We are talking about racism and acceptable terms so yes, I think their opinion is more valid.

Don't try and make what I said into something we both know it's not.

No-one is black or white, I'm not sure why you say this You do understand that society tends to call anyone darker than beige with african origins black?

Assuming that everyone who hasn't stated to the contrary is white might be a little odd but I can see that it has some rationale behind it... but explain the middle class bit to me.

Or is it just an attempt to be dismissive of people who disagree with you?

I just honestly think working class people are a lot more straight forward, less interested in psycho babble, word twisting and taking offense at the slightest thing. They also in my experience have a better sense of humour. Just my opinion from what I've experienced.

"I really can't be bothered to reply when people on here are no better than school bullies."

What do you mean?

Therefore everyone who has disagreed with you on this thread must be middle class because they have no sense of humour and have taken offence and talk psychobabble.

But I'm a lovable cockney geezer, salt of the earth I am and I calls a spade a bloody shovel

Do you have any idea how ridiculously cliched you sound?

Time for me to step away before I start waving my mining ancestry and poverty at you to validate my view.

Name calling is bullying. I'm not stupid or uneducated. I'm not a bad mum, there is no need to fear for my unborn children.

What makes it ridiculous is you've pointed out we agree on the OPs dilemma but are continuing to badger me anyway. I'll make it clear. I don't like the tone of this conversation or how you are trying to perceive me. I'm not racist. I'm not stupid. You don't like my opinion, ignore it. Leave me alone.

is this the thread MrsDeVere is pissed off about????? cant even be arsed to read it

I don't like calling people black or white. They may be the preferred terms of the moment but I think they emphasise differences and not many people actually do look "black" or "white".

mistress
I am starting to think you are one of the professionally offended...
(I admit I can be overly wordy - maybe lose my point in the waffle? )
Actually I have read back over our posts and think I am becoming defensive because I feel you are attacking me - and think you are feeling the same...
I have just written a massive reply to you - and deleted it...
I am really not blaming black people (or indeed anyone) for racism against them...except the racists...
All I was trying to say is sometimes if you are close to something you hear/see one thing - but from the outside you might hear another...
To go back to an example I gave earlier - changes to legal aid being a racist move - I can't and don't know what you would have heard in that report with your life experience - but the message I got from that - was that all black people would need to use the legal system (as victims or criminals) and they wouldn't be able to afford it (all poor) ....a really negative message about black people -from the very people who should be representing them and putting out a positive message... it made me so angry -(still infuriates me 20 yrs later)...
Now you could argue it was on Choice radio - so I wasn't their intended audience - but young black people would be ...

Still don't know if I have explained that very well - but hiding thread now...

"I don't like calling people black or white. They may be the preferred terms of the moment but I think they emphasise differences and not many people actually do look "black" or "white".

So what would you use?

curlew - terms that don't polarise people at either ends of a spectrum and put them in one camp or another.

Like what?

curlew - just describing the actual skin tone of the person in question I guess.

FruityPops That would be hard. Maybe we should all be allocated shades like foundation

KellyElly - Better than emphasising differences.

But describing the actual skin tone is still emphasising differences.

Are you going to apply this to white people too? For example, I am faintly bluish white. Ds is a sort of light brown at the moment, but will be cream by Christmas. Dd is very white but with lots of freckles, which she wouldn't thank you for calling attention to.

I honestly don't think it would work. And it's much more divisive and draws attention to differences much more than a simple black or white.

unlucky83 nope, not professionally unoffended Im just too tempted to reply when i see perculiar things

curlew good point, I guess - I have very rarely seen a black person. Different shades of brown, yes, but black is a rarity. When my DCs were very young and starting to become 'aware', theyd regularly ask me why we were called black, when we're brown. Swings n roundabouts..

I'd call my colour - a mucky off white with hints of mole and a dash of menopausal acne.