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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

4 children 4 dads

578 replies

fll85 · 03/10/2013 15:50

One of my close friends is expecting her 4th baby. She is getting a lot of stick from other people in our group of friends, and even some strangers, because the 4 children have different dads.

AIBU not to see this as an issue? She is a fab mum to the 3 she has. What business is it of other people and does it matter?

OP posts:
LtEveDallas · 04/10/2013 18:13

Raisah, I'd suggest the doctor was just being judgemental and trying to scare the patient. Because it's bollocks, obviously Smile. Sadly there are those in every profession.

JohFlow · 04/10/2013 18:14

I think in a climate of serial monogamy. It is very possible for a woman to have children with a few fathers without being labelled as promiscuous. It can either be workable at home or a challenge for the children. I think a lot depends on her ability to manage relationships with the fathers after parting. There is no doubt that any kind of separation creates additional challenges for all involved though.

RandallPinkFloyd · 04/10/2013 18:23

I'm still pissed off that I got deleted within half an hour for saying that I thought the OP was goady but the 'R' word post stayed on all bloody night!

But all this talk of holidays is cheering me right up. Don't get me wrong I'm jealous as all hell, but I love hearing about people having a lovely time!

Anyway, I'm off out tonight. Akshewally out. To a public house, to drink cold beer, from a glass and to converse with adult human beings. I am chipper and shall be staying chipper. Grin

Big lols at SP's nursery rhyme fail!

SPsTwerkingNineToFive · 04/10/2013 18:27

The toddler will be home any minute. Jealous of those on holiday, going out etc

imofftolisdoonvarna · 04/10/2013 18:38

Lol at madmayday 's friend having 3 kids by 5 dads - that's some going!

AmberLeaf · 04/10/2013 18:44

I noticed that, wasn't sure if it was a joke or what? Grin

LeGavrOrf · 04/10/2013 19:17

Zippey - with respect, get stretched. We can talk about what we like. This thread could have done with some derailment.

QuintessentialShadows · 04/10/2013 19:19

I am feeling really embarrassed over the views I expressed here yesterday. Not my finest moment. I should have stayed off MN in the sort of mood I was in, rather than spewing bile on innocent people.

ModeratelyObvious · 04/10/2013 19:23

You ok, Quint?

QuintessentialShadows · 04/10/2013 19:25

No. Not really. My lovely friend died two days ago. She left behind 3 children. I just dont feel quite myself. I should not be a bitch to others though. There is no excuse.

SPsTwerkingNineToFive · 04/10/2013 19:26

Sorry quint to hear about your friend Flowers

SPsTwerkingNineToFive · 04/10/2013 19:27

Quint Sorry**

LeGavrOrf · 04/10/2013 19:27

Quint I am so sorry. You have been here years and usually you are very kind. I hope you're ok.

PeteCampbellsRecedingHairline · 04/10/2013 19:27

Sorry to hear about your friend Quint.

You've apologised, don't beat yourself up about it.

ThanksThanks

SPBisResisting · 04/10/2013 19:28

I'm so sorry to hear that Quint.

usualsuspect · 04/10/2013 19:28

Oh Quint.Sorry about your friend.

Be kind to yourself Flowers

phantomnamechanger · 04/10/2013 19:29

sorry to hear that quint

Hullygully · 04/10/2013 19:29

Oh dear Quint

QuintessentialShadows · 04/10/2013 19:30

I'll be ok. She was my best friend through primary and until our education took different paths for sixth form. Stayed in touch though, and would meet every time I went back home. Her funeral is on Friday. I am flying home tomorrow. It is still no excuse to be vile and hurtful to other people.

AnaisHendricks · 04/10/2013 19:32

Oh Quint. You have many years of helpful and lovely posts behind you.

So sorry Flowers

usualsuspect · 04/10/2013 19:33

We all have off days on MN.

MN doesn't really matter.

It's not important.

QuintessentialShadows · 04/10/2013 19:33

I dunno, I think the thought of all these children without involved dads just made my brain explode. What if something happened to their mum. How vulnerable they would be.

Right now my friends 3 boys are mourning the loss of their mum. The youngest is 13, the oldest 17. Not babies, but they need their mum. My friend was married, so they have a very hands on dad, but the situation just sort of devastated my mind.

I have learnt my lesson though.

kotinka · 04/10/2013 19:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LtEveDallas · 04/10/2013 19:38

Those poor boys Sad. RIP Quint's friend

nkf · 04/10/2013 19:38

It seems a bit untidy to me. And miserable to be the sibling whose father isn't involved if the others are.

Overall, it's another world to me though. I don't know a single woman who had her first child at 17. How does anyone cope mentally and emotionally with the ramifications of all these exes and their children. Of course, it's nobody's business, but you raised it...