I don't f***ing believe it

[Neeliethere]

OH has met someone else. I get that. It hurts. He's taking her away for the week next week. I am at the marital home with my daughter. The marital home has a large drive. She lives 50 miles east of here and they are travelling a long way west.

They are going on holiday to an apartment we have rented as a family for the last six years that I found through a friend of mine and I have personally booked every year since then. Normally me and my daughter and her friend go but a few times with him as well. I am now feeling that I can never go there again because I will be thinking about how they were there having a lovely romantic time. I feel sick just writing this. Tell me I'm not mad.

As if that isn't bad enough he informs me that she is planning to drive to our house and leave her car on our drive while they are away. Am I going mad again? Is that just beyond the pale. The other woman's car on my drive whilst he takes her to our special holiday place shagging her senseless.

God the pain of it. How on earth do people manage to conduct themselves in such a heartless way????

Sorry to pick at this, but I really want to know. Why do you question this woman's moral standards? In the op you said she had morals of an alleycat.

Think of this as CBT. Why, objectively, do you hold that opinion?

Grobags...... I think having a bollard fitted to your ex's home with the express intent of preventing his partner from accessing the property might be swaying just a teensy-weensy bit into bunny boiler territory.

Nevermind that it's highly unlikely to be legal anyway as the OP doesn't live there any more.

Doesn't she? So why does she care about car? I thought she moved back? I'm so confused. But if she owns the property she can fit a bollard. Whethr she lives there or not.

Her post clealry says she is at the marital home. Fit the bollard OP he's being plain nasty suggesting she parks there.

I worry that if the daughter stays with her dad in the home, them OW and her kids move in, she might be forced out by her wicked stepmother, and if you have agreed for no maintennace for her, but get 'saddled' with her what then??
Does your daughter really want to stay with a father who is basically shaking up with his ready made young new family?? Would the daughter benefit from attending legal advice with you so she can see the cold harsh truth of the matter?

A bollard. You think a bollard is the solution to op's problems?

Have you any idea at all what he has told the OW about you and the situation?

She could be entirely unaware and blameless.

wait a minute!

wicked stepmother? no maintenece and abandoned children? wtf are people reading?!

she is a single mother who has met a single man and veen invited on a weekend away. she hasnt introduced her kids yet, she coukd be entirely nice and reasonable!

Fuck. This thread is hateful. How in Gods name did the girlfriend become a homewrecker, bitch, evil stepmother simply because she's going to park her car on her boyfriends drive while they go on holiday. There are many, many unhinged people on this thread.

fucking hell!!!

whats pair of cunts

that said when I read :
Single mum of two just in school age. Not working, living on benefits. homeless

Its will end in tears mark my words. what he is going to be step dad to her kids, support her financially? when he is as selfish as he is. his cock will get bored

watch and wait OP

and do not give the cunt (sorry) any opportunity to ever call you (a) a jealous bitter woman or (b) share the fact she is lovely

CUT him dead. get fucking divroce lawyer and cut him out, and start a diary and track everything

so sorry, I am actually really angry on your behalf!

revenge is a dish best served cold, remember that

Neelie of course it is provoking he should pick, of all the destinations in the world, a former favourite holiday haunt. It is provoking that, apparently, the only place she can park her car is outside the home you moved back to. He does it because it winds you up. I wouldn't have given him the satisfaction of knowing it does.

Don't fall into the trap of fuming at his gf, this is his doing. Wouldn't you rather refrain from attacking her if she's going to spend time around your DD? H has always painted you as the baddie, don't go and do something you'll regret. DD is too young to make a moral stand.

Seize the moment, love bomb your DD. She has been manipulated by him for so long and now he's temporarily out of the picture you can make the most of it. If H is so busy romancing his new partner chances are he will have neglected DD lately. Most teenagers love time being spent with them, doing normal and also extravagant things. Okay you can't buy love but after school take her out for a meal, go shopping, she'll appreciate any wardrobe or cosmetic updates.

I am glad you are doing the Freedom Programme. He is used to having things his own way while you play catch up and has done a number on DD. But save your energy, direct it at healing yourself.

It doesn't matter what the ex told the new gf. She is blameless either way.

What could she be held to blame for?

This man hold sounds vile. I feel sorry for his new partner, do you really think he will love and care for her and provide for her children?

It would be very unfair for you to loose your home and everything you have worked for, sit tight, keep him at arms length so far as it is possible, while she is amusing him it will be easier to make a clean break.

Get a good solicitor and enjoy spending time with your daughter. Be nice to his new partner and explain that the car will be in the way on your drive its the truth and that's all you need to say.

Keep your dignity and your daughter and hopefully you will be rid of him soon.

vtechjazz - the NW is only dating the girls father, what on earth has she done that makes her a "wicked stepmother" at this point? What a ridiculous and nasty assumption to make.

Jesus, I'm talking about what ifs......so yeah, this ow could in future become step mum to this girl, and as far as op cares, she IS wicked!
I'm posting a cynics 'what if' view. I couldn't care less about the maniacal need of mn's to be balanced, non-judgemental etc etc blah blah. Let the op slag of this ow!

She isn't an OW.

OP, I'm sorry for jumping to conclusions about how you'd react.

That was needlessly hurtful speculation on my part. I apologise.

Until they are divorced she is an 'OW'.

Legally yes she is, but it is in no way comparable to someone having an affair behind their spouse's back while the unsuspecting spouse thinks the marriage is alive and well.

The NW is a complete red herring here and doing the exact same thing to this thread as I've been warning Neelie to avoid.

Neither we nor the OP know the NW, how much she knows about the marriage breakdown, or what her motives are. None of it is particularly relevant to the OP's situation either. The point is that her HUSBAND chose to embark on a new relationship and the use of the driveway to his GF. It is his behaviour that should be held up to scrutiny, not hers.

Yes, the dh and "OW" got together via an on-line dating site after the OP had moved out. She was not, as far as we understand, around whilst the OP and dh were (un)happily married and living together.

She may well be a gold-digging harlot, but even if she were Mother Theresa (although perhaps a bit old and a bit dead and a bit nunnish for the dh!) the OP would resent her presence on the scene.

This sounds like the culmination of six years of hell for your daughter. Grow up and split up with a bit of dignity. It sounds a poisonous environment for your DD.

Omg vtechjazz are you seriously suggesting the daughter attends legal meetings so she can see/hear the cold hard truth?? Why would anyone do that to their kids???