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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To point out that you do not need to be a twat when replying to people's posts.

250 replies

Tweasels · 01/10/2013 14:02

I'm more than sure I've done this myself and I think especially when you're new it may feel the best way to throw yourself into AIBU but it's getting ridiculous.

Some pointers:

  1. read the thread. If it's too long, read the OP's posts at the very least. There is a way to customise so you can highlight the OP's posts to make this easier (on the desktop site, not sure about the app).

  2. if you think the person is being unreasonable, tell them so in a PLEASANT manner and give reasons why.

  3. Give your own opinion not that of the 15 twats posters before you.

  4. Just because you can lift your 6 children out of the car without opening the doors doesn't mean the OP is unreasonable because she finds getting one baby out of a cramped space hard.

  5. forgetting to put something in a post and adding it soon after is not drip feeding, it's helpful.

  6. if someone is being an utter twat, do by all means highlight what they've said to make them sound like a twat. Just make sure you've RTFT first!

Any other pointers welcome Grin

OP posts:
ZingWantsCake · 01/10/2013 20:52

[rebel]

Maryz · 01/10/2013 20:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheBigJessie · 01/10/2013 20:53

Well, there's one thing- there has been little hypocrisy. Posters who do not RTFT have indeed spoken against your suggestion that they should!

ZingWantsCake · 01/10/2013 20:54

I wonder what Pidge would say.

Cake
ZingWantsCake · 01/10/2013 20:54

I haven't read this thread.

Original poster
Tweasels · 01/10/2013 20:56

Do you know Maryz, I did read it. I just didn't join in because I think one little unknown voice gets a bit lost on big threads like that so I'd just be clogging it up.

That's a whole other issue though isn't it. I'm sure once HQ have sorted single issue serious topic, twat talk will be next on their list of priorities.

OP posts:
ConfusedandDazed24 · 01/10/2013 20:56

Tweasels this thread has been way more civilised than I thought it would be. I'm disappointed in you.

Original poster
Tweasels · 01/10/2013 20:57

Ha thanks Maryz. Thankfully I'm quite thick skinned so I should be Ok.

OP posts:
TheBigJessie · 01/10/2013 20:59

If I start saying YADLRC (you are demonstrating limited reading comprehension), is that sanctimonious or in keeping with the Mumsnet spirit of plain speaking?

And also, if we're not allowed to infer characteristics from people's behaviour, then Maryz's wish is granted, and we can not have most of AIBU! We'll be reduced to saying "there, there". No more of: she/he's toxic, LTB, etc!

Original poster
Tweasels · 01/10/2013 21:02

It's because I am being nice and not saying everything that is in my head in an attempt to not become one of the twats of which I speak.

OP posts:
TheBigJessie · 01/10/2013 21:08

Hmm- I think I say everything in my head. I may be a twat. But one with superior biochemistry

I am offended that no-one told me I was.

Original poster
Tweasels · 01/10/2013 21:14

A twat with superior biochemistry Grin

You should change your hoverer thing when you click on your name to that, it's inspired.

OP posts:
DoNotTellMeWhatToDo · 01/10/2013 21:14

See above.

ConfusedandDazed24 · 01/10/2013 21:14

I will if you want?! Wink except I won't really because I'm a goody two shoes and don't want to get deleted

Original poster
Tweasels · 01/10/2013 21:19

DoNotTellMeWhatToDo

I'm only telling twats what to do. Oh.

OP posts:
Sparklyboots · 01/10/2013 21:19

I do agree with the overall sentiment but would like to keep a bit of twat in reserve. I like to think that if you are mostly reasonable then come out all guns set to 'twat' on a particular issue, people will think, o, wow, Sparkly's usually such a reasonable poster, perhaps I will think very carefully about the depth of annoyance this issue can provoke. This does rather depend on others (a) noticing you and (b) appreciating your calm and reasonable tone

TheBigJessie · 01/10/2013 21:19

What's the Mumsnet name character limit?

Would that fit? Actually I feel a bit embarrassed. Above post is the first time I have ever used the t-word. I'm not sure if I'm up for a name-change!

Original poster
Tweasels · 01/10/2013 21:24

"Keep a bit of twat in reserve"

Brilliant, I think that's excellent advice SparklyBoots

OP posts:
TheBigJessie · 01/10/2013 22:05

Look!?

Viviennemary · 01/10/2013 22:46

Just realised what RTFT means. That's probably why I never do.

Original poster
Tweasels · 01/10/2013 23:04

TheBigJessie - brilliant!

OP posts:
justmyview · 01/10/2013 23:17

These are the posts that irritate me - "nothing to add but just marking my place, so I can come back later". Why not just watch the thread, instead of adding zillions of pointless messages that I have to read

Grennie · 01/10/2013 23:22

Yeah I would be too afraid to comment on lots of threads. It is seriously scary here

ZingWantsCake · 01/10/2013 23:23

just

because on phone app you can't add Watching if already full!
you can't hide threads on it either.

but if I mark place, usually with Cake, it goes in Threads I'm on.

sorry it pisses you off. It's not meant to annoy you or anyone else. It's just a useful thing to do.

ZingWantsCake · 01/10/2013 23:24

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