To point out that you do not need to be a twat when replying to people's posts.

[Tweasels]

I'm more than sure I've done this myself and I think especially when you're new it may feel the best way to throw yourself into AIBU but it's getting ridiculous.

Some pointers:

1. read the thread. If it's too long, read the OP's posts at the very least. There is a way to customise so you can highlight the OP's posts to make this easier (on the desktop site, not sure about the app).

2. if you think the person is being unreasonable, tell them so in a PLEASANT manner and give reasons why.

3. Give your own opinion not that of the 15 twats posters before you.

4. Just because you can lift your 6 children out of the car without opening the doors doesn't mean the OP is unreasonable because she finds getting one baby out of a cramped space hard.

5. forgetting to put something in a post and adding it soon after is not drip feeding, it's helpful.

6. if someone is being an utter twat, do by all means highlight what they've said to make them sound like a twat. Just make sure you've RTFT first!

Any other pointers welcome

I'm in, to celebrate the enormous chasm between 'suggesting people try not to be twats' and 'heavy handed censorship'.

MN can be great for a bit of straight talking, but I really don't see how Tweasels suggesting people be mindful or thoughtful of others is a massive imposition. I'm sure I've fallen on the wrong side once or twice, but I don't wade into each thread with the intent of being abrasive or offensive. I also don't accept that you can't convey tone on writing. Nuance can be tricky and it's open to interpretation, which sometimes means being a bit more thoughtful. A lot of people manage it here.

I wrote social media guidance for my work a few years back. 17 pages that could basically be boiled down to 'don't be a dick'.

yes Sparkles, I think that's a great idea.

thanks just*

I will, with your kind permission!

see folks? no need to be a twat.
question asked, question answered and we are both happy.

(because I didn't take just's question personally, but answered it factually)

is that what you were after OP?

I can't usual. Nor c**t.

It's a beautiful thing Zing. Exactly what I wanted. To be fair, you're not exactly my audience as you are a non twat but we should all lead by example.

Twat free Wednesday it is.

Sparkling would you like some help to do this ?
You could start with twa

T

And then move to tw A. T

tweasels

mwah.

I can be a twat though - if provoked!

Go on Zing, be a twat!

big orange don't go there

and your baby's ugly!

There are a substantial number of people*, who have heard the words "free speech" and think it:
a) applies to all English-speaking countries
b) means you can say whatever you like to anyone, without them being able to say anything back, i.e. that the audience don't have freedom of speech.

In actuality, freedom of speech, whatever your jurisdiction, has never meant that people can't reply to you or criticise you for being rude, factually wrong, offensive or abusive. It has only meant you can't go to prison for being rude, if you didn't break any of the other laws that regulate one's freedom to natter, which may include, although not be limited to, laws against encouraging or inciting criminal behaviour, threatening people, infringing the Official Secrets Act, or distributing instructions on bomb-making.

The people in Britain who have the most unrestricted rights of free speech are MPs, and that might be why the House of Commons needs a speaker, to maintain order!

And as it is, parliamentary debates make me feel sickened, because we seem to have a bunch of rowdy 14-year-olds in charge of decision-making.

*is it, "there are a number" or "there is a number"?

Zing you're so MEAN!

gin how about tw*t?

Here here Jessie, quite right.

Zing it is definitely ok to be a twat when provoked by a twat. I like to call it retwatilation.

But not on Twt-Free Wednesdays Tweasels*.

Ok! Well, we need a thoroughly pleasant response in case any twattery should arise today.

I say we kill them with kindness and ((((((((((((((((hugsandsqueezes)))))))))))))))))))))))))

Is, "Are you feeling okay, there? " pleasant or patronising?

Hmm. "I can see your point, but you've missed the update because you couldn't be bothered to read past the OP. Dammit, I went all PA again.

bigOrange

I hope you learnt your lesson!

now go and give that beautiful baby a kiss from her Aunt Zing! ?

(or was it a boy?)

I have I'm sorry, I won't ever do it again!

having given it due consideration Sparkling, I think that's fine - you carry on doing whatever it is that suits you.

Some people are (twats), some aren't. It's all part of life isn't it?

YY to it's all part of life. Freedom of speech does mean the right to say whatever you want to say. No ifs no buts. The moderating forces that balance that are civility, empathy and rationality and education - not restriction, jurisdiction or limitation. You trust and allow the best of humanity to outweigh and out-speak the worst. But it requires tolerance and forebearance. I really really like freedom of speech. It's messy but it works. And I am gradually learning not to be a twat. Work in progress!

LOL @ "And I am gradually learning not to be a twat. Work in progress!"

Actually, there are lots of "ifs and buts", balaboosta. it's true to say that abiding by the rules of civility, empathy, rationality and education will mean that you will never encounter the laws, but they still exist. They exist, because, well, people don't always go around being civil and empathetic. If they did, we wouldn't need a police force!

The first one that always comes to mind is the phrase "aiding and abetting" as in crime. The full terms of that act are "Whosoever shall aid, abet, counsel, or procure the commission of any indictable offence, whether the same be an offence at common law or by virtue of any Act passed or to be passed, shall be liable to be tried, indicted, and punished as a principal offender.^

Giving someone advice on how to commit a crime is one way of counselling, and freedom of speech will not protect you.

It will also not protect you if you incite racial hatred, or make threatening phone calls.

Another restriction is our defamation laws. Slander someone or libel them, and they can sue you. "Freedom of speech" means nowt there.