To point out that you do not need to be a twat when replying to people's posts.

[Tweasels]

I'm more than sure I've done this myself and I think especially when you're new it may feel the best way to throw yourself into AIBU but it's getting ridiculous.

Some pointers:

1. read the thread. If it's too long, read the OP's posts at the very least. There is a way to customise so you can highlight the OP's posts to make this easier (on the desktop site, not sure about the app).

2. if you think the person is being unreasonable, tell them so in a PLEASANT manner and give reasons why.

3. Give your own opinion not that of the 15 twats posters before you.

4. Just because you can lift your 6 children out of the car without opening the doors doesn't mean the OP is unreasonable because she finds getting one baby out of a cramped space hard.

5. forgetting to put something in a post and adding it soon after is not drip feeding, it's helpful.

6. if someone is being an utter twat, do by all means highlight what they've said to make them sound like a twat. Just make sure you've RTFT first!

Any other pointers welcome

Fair do's Cococola - but here's the thing you could have typed just that rather than your rather snippy sounding first response.

Can I get a bit peeved at those that don't seem to have read more than the title? Just a little bit?

I can be arsey sometimes but I can be arsey in real life too. I try not to get personal though - not my style - even when a poster is a goady bridge dweller with an agenda.

I would add

You don't need to make this about your own vaguely similar but actually totally different personal car crash that you had ten years ago.

Nor is it compulsory to tell people to react as angrily as possible to the situation and take the most extreme action possible.

It is good not to think something is definitely malicious when there is a good chance it is just a cockup.

Cant quite work out if YABU or not. I do know that assuming that someone hasnt read a thread and/or if theyd read the thread they would have automatically changed their opinion/had the same opinion of majority posters IS unreasonable.

Like all else, twatish is a matter of opinion, isnt it...

I agree with 2)

Apart from that...good luck with Stepford Censorship

YaNBU..this is the most reasonable post I have ever seen on here tbh

Hercy - use Customise just under Mumsnet Talk at the top of the page. You can opt to highlight the OP's posts (and your own, if you like).

I've probably missed three people already answering this question now.

Also..if someone is posting because they are upset. .don't call them pathetic and tell them to get a fucking grip.

Well you can but it makes you an arsehole.

It'snot a question of censorship it's more about not being mean for the sake of it. Fine to disagree and give a different view without being nasty

Today I replied in a 'can't be arsed' kind of way because I really just couldn't be arsed to highlight the bleedin obvious to someone who clearly couldn't see what was under their nose.

I just couldn't muster the energy to point out the painfully obvious.

Sometimes that is just the way it is. If the OP wants an explanation/elaboration, let the OP ask for one.

I have highlighted OP posts so always read those.

And what is simple and straightforward and obvious to me might not be so or someoneelse

Now I'm wondering if what I did constitutes bullying...

Will have a think on that one.

I don't like bullying on MN at all so wouldn't want to have done it myself.

pianodoodle oh yes, don't they just!

Someone, I think it was the fabulous Grace, once started a thread called "Sitting under a bridge, combing my toenails..." in which she deliberately gave advice based on just the title of each thread whilst ignoring the whole content.

YANBU.

Good post, Tweasels (and lots of others, especially beastofburden)

Obviously I was trying to keep the tone relatively light hearted because as many kind people have pointed out I am not the law.

However, I am serious. If you feel you are being told off then maybe you are one of the twats.

I don't think I'm being a twat by mentioning it. I'm just wondering whether some people maybe feel they HAVE to be a twat to fit in or something. I'm just pointing out that you don't

I find it seriously hard to believe that the OP of the thread I responded to could have missed the 'bleedin obvious' as it had been highlighted in other ways by other posters before I commented.

I think the OP was just being obstinate about the whole thing.

I have to point out because I'm a twat that some people specifically ask for a variety of opinions on their AIBU post and then accuse anyone who's views they don't like or whose views differ from their own as being a twat.
Who gets to decide what is twatty and what is an acceptable difference of opinion with personal experiences added to illustrate the point to the hoardes of posters who think it isn't possible to get 6 kids out of the car without opening the doors?
I am a ninja with special powers and now need to borrow six children and a car so I can drive to a busy carpark for the essential experiment

Its good advice - plenty of posters make themselves look not terribly bright, especially in AIBU. Imvho.

I've just customised it, very helpful, thank you.

Very often I read a thread and think "well, loads of other people have said exactly what I was going to say, so there is no need for me to add the two hundredth message saying YABU".

It isn't compulsory to comment. You can lurk you know.

Apart from that...good luck with Stepford Censorship

This is absolutely not what I'm getting at. If you post something on here and it is your genuine, genuine opinion and you have read all the necessary info then great, post away. Even if it's a pile of steaming shit.

I'm talking about the nastiness, the unnecessary and often irrelevant nasty comments.

You are welcome Hercy.

Gosh, what a polite thread this is!

How refreshing.

anyone?

I am a twat but you're BU

Or maybe after a few years of MN I am morphing into an 'oldie'

After all, I did recently acquire knowledge on how to

YY Minty exactly that. I lurk loads, I'm not even on the thread that has motivated me to write this because I had nothing to add.

And yes as many have mentioned, everyone has different ideas about what is twattishness behaviour and we're all good at pulling it up.

Again, I'm just pointing out that it's not written into AIBU law that you have to be nasty when responding to something.

Is it time for the 'dictate how people' post threads again? I thought we had them scheduled closer to the 15th of the month.