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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To point out that you do not need to be a twat when replying to people's posts.

250 replies

Tweasels · 01/10/2013 14:02

I'm more than sure I've done this myself and I think especially when you're new it may feel the best way to throw yourself into AIBU but it's getting ridiculous.

Some pointers:

  1. read the thread. If it's too long, read the OP's posts at the very least. There is a way to customise so you can highlight the OP's posts to make this easier (on the desktop site, not sure about the app).

  2. if you think the person is being unreasonable, tell them so in a PLEASANT manner and give reasons why.

  3. Give your own opinion not that of the 15 twats posters before you.

  4. Just because you can lift your 6 children out of the car without opening the doors doesn't mean the OP is unreasonable because she finds getting one baby out of a cramped space hard.

  5. forgetting to put something in a post and adding it soon after is not drip feeding, it's helpful.

  6. if someone is being an utter twat, do by all means highlight what they've said to make them sound like a twat. Just make sure you've RTFT first!

Any other pointers welcome Grin

OP posts:
Tweasels · 01/10/2013 17:10

I'm neither sanctimonious nor bossy, I may be a twonk though, I'm unsure.

OP posts:
PeppiNephrine · 01/10/2013 17:22

Maybe you are, maybe you aren't, my point really is that its impossible to judge either the character or motivations of posters, so stop trying, and stop telling them how to behave.
One person sees honesty, another rudeness etc etc.

fleacircus · 01/10/2013 17:27

Usually I'm not being a twat, I just am a twat. Like Tim Dowling, back in the day.

BlatantRedhead · 01/10/2013 17:41

they just happen to drool on the right sequence of keys to form a reply got a genuine lol from me...

MsSampson · 01/10/2013 17:47

If a post already has 248 replies and you can't think of even a tiny original point to make is it then acceptable or twattish to make a tangential point and derail? Grin

Pancakeflipper · 01/10/2013 17:48

Some people just like the sound of their own keyboard typing skills.

This place would become dull if no twat posts. It's irritating but there's twats outside in the real world too.

The lovely people on here make up for twat keyboard users.

daisychain01 · 01/10/2013 17:50

Totally agree with this, Tweasels.

Another thing about AIBU, which has escalated beyond reason, this last week...

Also why cant people accept differing opinions on AIBU, when the post is worded in an honest and genuine way, clearly not out to offend and just seeking other people's point of view...without being torched, flamed, figuratively spat at and vilified (sworn at)

I was genuinely shocked at being subjected to this - it has never happened to me in RL thank goodness. I actually thought of de-registering, but decided I wouldnt judge everyone by just a few nasty, angry people, and the shock has passed. But why should one fear for one's virtual life because people collectively wade in and rip a person to shreds. It is awful. And it seems like a blood sport for some people.

BlatantRedhead · 01/10/2013 17:51

Useful tip about customisation, that. Now all Tweasels posts are in a luuurrvly shade of green Smile

BlatantRedhead · 01/10/2013 17:52

........and mine are in pink... Urrgh.

daisychain01 · 01/10/2013 18:02

I'm a green girl too, I did pink for a while but it clashes with my iPad cover

BlatantRedhead · 01/10/2013 18:16

Pink is gone. Couldn't bear it. What are "thread stickies"?

TheBigJessie · 01/10/2013 19:44

A thread sticky is a thread that stays at the top of the forum, due to HQ's intervention. I don't know if Mumsnet has them, but other forums do.

They might be FAQs, or forum rules, for example.

MrsWolowitz · 01/10/2013 19:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Balaboosta · 01/10/2013 19:59

Wait, MN without twats? You mean like a low-twat version? Or should it be a percentage - like 95% twat-free?

KneesoftheBee · 01/10/2013 20:00

OP is purple - my favourite colour.

I have invented a very inoffensive posting stylee:-

  1. read thread
  2. draft response
  3. preview response
  4. delete response

I have not managed to upset anyone when I do this.

BlatantRedhead · 01/10/2013 20:00

Thanks Jessie.

Maryz · 01/10/2013 20:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Maryz · 01/10/2013 20:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tweasels · 01/10/2013 20:08

Thanks MrsW. I was starting to wonder whether being a twat was more reasonable than being pleasant. Like some kind of shitty alternate Universe.

Grin balaboosta

KneesoftheBee that sounds a very good approach! one I wish I'd taken when starting this thread.

OP posts:
KneesoftheBee · 01/10/2013 20:08

Maryz Grin

On second thoughts, if everybody did as I suggested, the only posts would be the OP and MNHQ going

I might need to rethink my strategy.

Hullygully · 01/10/2013 20:09

But what if someone IS a twat?

They couldn't help answering like one.

This is TWATISM

KneesoftheBee · 01/10/2013 20:11

Hully - maybe we need some kind pre-posting twat survey.

Maryz · 01/10/2013 20:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KneesoftheBee · 01/10/2013 20:12

*kind of

obviously didn't preview that one Blush

Hullygully · 01/10/2013 20:12

yy knees

damn good plan

who wants to draft one?

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