To point out that you do not need to be a twat when replying to people's posts.

[Tweasels]

I'm more than sure I've done this myself and I think especially when you're new it may feel the best way to throw yourself into AIBU but it's getting ridiculous.

Some pointers:

1. read the thread. If it's too long, read the OP's posts at the very least. There is a way to customise so you can highlight the OP's posts to make this easier (on the desktop site, not sure about the app).

2. if you think the person is being unreasonable, tell them so in a PLEASANT manner and give reasons why.

3. Give your own opinion not that of the 15 twats posters before you.

4. Just because you can lift your 6 children out of the car without opening the doors doesn't mean the OP is unreasonable because she finds getting one baby out of a cramped space hard.

5. forgetting to put something in a post and adding it soon after is not drip feeding, it's helpful.

6. if someone is being an utter twat, do by all means highlight what they've said to make them sound like a twat. Just make sure you've RTFT first!

Any other pointers welcome

Poppingin - i think people posting do have som responsibility too

OP - am i being unreasonable
1000 replies - yes
PP - you're really unhelpful and wrong and i'm being bullied wah

Good point. I do think if you post in AIBU and every single reply you get says YABU then you really need to have a think instead of banging on every other page saying you aren't.

I mean - why ask in the first place?

No, no Tee - I definitely have it down for the first of the month.

I agree with gobby

Did it get changed, Fenton? No one tells me these things!

Tut

Sometimes I feel compelled to ignore the entire thread, if it has descended into an argument that is nothing to do with the op's original question. I instead just post an actual answer to the question. I think that's probably more helpful to the op, rather than joining in the hijacked bunfight.

I sometimes think the op must be reading and thinking 'could someone please help me rather than fight amongst yourselves?'

I think this is all good advice, but I think that some people are missing the point completely. I find that on threads like this people pile in with the whole 'you can't tell us what to do' ethos when that's not what was happening at all.

Well, why don't you explain it to us thickos, BOP if you know what the OP actually meant.

I don't need to. The OP has explained it perfectly well.

I've always loved your name ilovemydog!

The title of AIBU misled me into thinking- here was a forum that valued reason and courtesy above all else. Why would you even ask, "am I being unreasonable?" if you didn't think being moderate, measured, proportionate- reasonable, in fact- was the most important thing?

it is so not like that.

We should rename it: "Validate me NOW".

I think the OP means that they won't call someone on being a twat when OP believes they're being a twat. But will start a pass-agg thread.

As I said, it's all relative. Some may think I'm being a twat. Some may think the OP is. Some see offence where others wouldn't. I'm always happy to clarify just how much of a twat I'm intending to be, but mostly I'm just blunt rather than fawning.

Oh bless you Mintyy!

YANBU. I am usually a bit 'meh' about these types of threads but I agree with you Tweasels, and as BigOrange says you have explained it perfectly well.

Thanks BigOrangePumpkin, some people have misunderstood what I meant but that's OK, I obviously haven't been very clear.

I'll try again

I am not, will not and wouldn't want to tell people how to post. It was meant to be a relatively light hearted bit of banter about some of the less helpful posts here.

And if the thread that inspired you to write this is the one I'm thinking about you are definitely NBU!

Tweasels I mentioned the Stepford Censorship as it did come across that way to me, although Im not being that serious about it

The 'twat' thing... I 'get' it where you can see posters are just being deliberately offensive to others. But I do feel some just people just cant take a difference of opinion where its not the majority opinion & then they get angsty..which is twatish, to me. Where I dont agree with an opinion I'll counteract decently, no need for oh youre not informed, you dont know anything, you havent read this or that, oh what if it was you or yours..blah blah.. When all said & done its a matter of varied opinion & debate. Agree with No.2 tho, as said

YANBU. Some people are needlessly start on AIBU and it's a shame.

Banter? Eek, I'm outta here

Sorry xpost.

In the spirit of things I am more than happy to be told that I'm being unreasonable but not that I'm "dictating how people post". That bit was a bit of lighthearted musing. Probably should have made that clear for those who easily misunderstand the tone.

It's the over aggressive, character assassinations and pile ins that I find pretty nasty. Some posters just come on here to be a dick, not actually to post anything constructive I find. If calling people out on that kind of shit is dictating how people post then so be it. YANBU!

I'm sorry but some posters' AIBU really get my goat. And I most definitely would speak to people in RL with the same tone if they came out with the same trout.

I am not quite sure, why after 37 years, I still cannot grasp that you cannot reason with the unreasonable and why I persistently keep trying to.

MistressDeeCee. I agree with what you're saying. It goes all ways doesn't it. Some people just are wrong and need to be told as such and if you ask for an opinion you need to be able to hear all the responses not just the ones you want to hear.

The responses I'm on about go like this:

OP - AIBU to want MIL to put a hat on DD when she goes out in the snow?

P1 - you are so entitled, your MIL looks after you child for one hour a week and you think you can dictate how she dresses your DD, here, have a grip.

P2 - first world problem.

P3 - is that all you've got to worry about.

Etc etc.

I just find it hard to understand.

Didnt come across to me that you're dictating how people post..you're entitled to your opinion just the same as everybody else after all. Dont agree with all you've said but some of it yep, makes sense to me