To point out that you do not need to be a twat when replying to people's posts.

[Tweasels]

I'm more than sure I've done this myself and I think especially when you're new it may feel the best way to throw yourself into AIBU but it's getting ridiculous.

Some pointers:

1. read the thread. If it's too long, read the OP's posts at the very least. There is a way to customise so you can highlight the OP's posts to make this easier (on the desktop site, not sure about the app).

2. if you think the person is being unreasonable, tell them so in a PLEASANT manner and give reasons why.

3. Give your own opinion not that of the 15 twats posters before you.

4. Just because you can lift your 6 children out of the car without opening the doors doesn't mean the OP is unreasonable because she finds getting one baby out of a cramped space hard.

5. forgetting to put something in a post and adding it soon after is not drip feeding, it's helpful.

6. if someone is being an utter twat, do by all means highlight what they've said to make them sound like a twat. Just make sure you've RTFT first!

Any other pointers welcome

YANBU. I think "don't be a twat" is a pretty good guide to life in general, but unfortunately a lot of people don't abide by it.

musicismylife. I agree with that. I've had my eyes opened being on here over the last few years. Some people will not listen whichever way the responses are given, even if they're really nice. It does get to a point when you just want to say "oh just fuck off then".

I need to add a new rule to my lighthearted banter dictatorship that it is ok to be twat when the OP deserves it

Yes Absy it is good general advice. It will get you far.

I thought I was doing well at not being a twat until I started this thread ha ha.

Tweasels in the examples you've given that may well be the 'correct' response. Either you trust MIL or you don't. Especially in situations when GPs are free childcare.

tweazles

How is that ever the correct response?

Even if the OP was being unreasonable, what's wrong with something along the lines of "I think You are being a bit U because there could be a number of reasons why she didn't put the hat on"

Totally different if the OP has had loads of sensible responses like the one above and won't accept it.

But sometimes you have to be a twat to counteract twatism.

Y'know, like fighting fire with fire.

Example: IABU letting my axe-murdering new boyfriend of 2 hours look after my 10 hour old baby.

Background History: I love him.

musicismylife: Fuck off to the far-side of fuck

The only rule in Sparkling's MN Rule Book-

DON'T BE AN ARSE

Stick to that and there will be no problems.....

What if the OP is a twat though?

Are you allowed to post twatty replies than?

No. If they are being one of those you don't need to be one too usual.

yes you have a point but personally I can't read a long long post that had no paragraphs, that gives me the rage.

it can he annoying when someone posts AIBU and then proceeds to get the hump when told yes you are,

if 15 posters have already said the same as me then it just means there's a consensus of opinions, so what!

I always lift all my children through the sunroof so what's your point re the door?

fucking HATE drip feeds, i.e ' my mil ignored everything I say and is rude and on page fucking 6 we are told that 'mil is profoundly deaf!!'

highlighting sentences is aggressive but fun.

It may well be the correct response if someone is picking holes in a GP who has the audacity to offer free childcare.

usual I want to say yes and as I know I have been a twat to twatty OP's My moral high ground is sinking.

I think the best thing is to ask yourself "what would sparklingbrook do?" And follow that path.

I think my helpful pointers only apply when the OP is clearly not a twat.

Oh blimey Tweasels not sure about that. But, I have been trialling a new posting approach of thinking things but not posting it.

thebody all valid points and I'll concede on the 15 posters same opinion thing. That may well be the case as long as they don't all offer the OP a grip

at the drip feeding example. An OP who said that would be a twat.

gobbynorthernbird I like the sound of you because I am loud and northern too but I think you may be misunderstanding me. It's a given that some people are unreasonable but based on the tiny example I gave you couldn't deduce that so nastiness would be unwarranted. I'm happy to agree to disagree though.

You do not need to be a twat when replying to posts but I find it helps.

I need to find my inner tt then Monsters.

When you do find it Sparkling, make sure you only use plain water to clean it. Lukewarm, if you're a bit sensitive.

[helpful]

If I do i will name change and run amok over all the topics Monsters.

Can we sticky this? Please, MNHQ?

YANBU, Tweasels. All these pointers make sense.

Also: if you can't change your settings, but you are on a pc, ctrl+F brings up the Find box. Just put an OP's name in, and you can find their posts easily.

We need a yawn emoticon in here.

Don't be a twonk, OP. Being sanctomonious and bossy at the same time isn't helpful, its patronising.

Having been told that my age is 'elderly' and the elderly are whingers and curmudgeonly...........I do NOT have to be pleasant to anyone on here ever again