To have spoken sharply to this child?

[pictish]

Sitting on a bench in the playground at school this morning, chatting to a friend, with my daughter sitting on my knee.

A 5 yr old boy playing close by (like three feet away) suddenly boots his football, and it comes right for us, just skiffing the top of my daughters hair.

I exclaimed "Be careful! You almost hit her in the head!"

Next thing I know, the mother is looming over me telling me "Don't speak to my son like that! If you've got a problem then come and speak to me!"

I just looked at her aghast and then said "There was no need - it was a fairly minor incident."

She said "Well he's upset now, so next time speak to me!" and then turned heel and stalked off shaking her head.

I see this woman every single day, so I need to know....should I have spoken to her first? I really just reacted without thinking, and my manner was firm, although I certainly didn't shout.
I would have done the same no matter WHO had kicked that ball. Is that wrong?

Oops, sorry, name change.

You could have still made your point by speaking kindly to him

You just reacted! you have nothing to justify......you would have hoped she would have told him to be a little more careful....as you would have if your child had done that.....

He needed to know not to aim the ball at somebody's face. No need for a middle man there. I'd have done the same.

Why must we always talk kindly to these little princes and princesses? There is nothing wrong with a well placed 'Oi!' In fact what the OP was more than reasonable - 'Be careful' which he should have been, and 'You almost hit her in the head!' which he did. What was unkind about that anyway?

Exactly you the cat, op reacted to narrowly being missed by a flying ball. A bit of strictness does not hurt

Pixie - it's true, I could have said it kindly, but given that he had just narrowly missed my daughter's face, I wasn't inclined to do so. My tone was as incredulous as I felt.

Would you have said it kindly?

Pictish, did you bother speaking to the mother at pick up?

I usually put 'darling' at the end of I've been more sharp than I intended with someone else' s kid. However on this occasion I think he needs to stuck up a very minor telling off - that's what happens if you kick a ball at someone's head!

No...she saw me approaching the school gate and scurried over to her mates, so I just ignored her.

I haven't given up, I might well try to sort it out tomorrow or the next day, or whatever, but nah...I wasn't going to go out of my way and have an audience, so I didn't bother today.

No in that case just leave it, don't drag it up. It's probe Bly going to be forgotten very soon

Hope so. I certainly cba with ongoing tension at all.

No I am sure all will be forgotten by tomorrow you did nothing wrong!

one day your dd will accidentally bump into a little one and knock them over.You will be ok with their parent yelling at her will you?

Who yelled?

And btw, dd is my third child...so I know how it goes thanks. If any of my three kicked a ball at another child's face while they were sitting on their mother's knee, I'd have no issue with said mother telling my child off.

Would you?

"The boy should not be playing near others" or others shouldn't be sitting near where kids are playing...

Presumably the kid didn't deliberately try to hit you/your DD, maybe he was a little careless but he is only five and tbh if someone made my five year old cry over an accident I'd feel a little put out.

YANBU but you never are Pictish you seem to be a lone wolf where you live all these precious parents protecting their precious children from the nasty grown ups

He was trying to punt the ball over us, I think. It wasn't just a stray ball that broke loose. He stood directly in front of us, gave that ball a purposeful almighty boot, and misjudged it. It was deliberate, but not malicious iyswim? It was a stupid thing for him to do. So he got told off.

Having had time to process the incident throughout the day, I am no longer giving of a fuck. Maybe next time he'll think twice. Good.

It was deliberate, but not malicious iyswim?

I know what you mean, five year olds don't always think. I don't see anything wrong with telling him it's wrong though, how else will he learn.

Op glad to hear it and bloody good for you!

Either way he's five

Making him cry was OTT

And I say that as someone who usually nods along with your good sense

Ofgs Pictish didn't shout or yell or bawl the kid out, she just said be careful!!

If this was my five year old, I would gave told him he needed to be careful and I would have apologized and made sure he moved away and played somewhere else.

These things happen and a quick 'watch out/be careful' is entirely appropriate.

There's a bench, so people are meant to sit down on it.

It's a playground, so children are meant to play there (possibly not with footballs if there's a policy, as there is at DS's school )

And it's a school, so parents will be waiting, some with younger children, for the doors to open so the ones at school can go in.

This is a non-issue caused by the mother of the boy. He kicked a football that narrowly missed the OP and her child. She spoke sharply out of shock more than anything else, she didn't mean to sound sharp, she spoke in the shock of the moment.

It's a shame the child cried because of it but the right thing for the other mother to do would be to calm him down and tell him to be more careful next time.

There doesn't need to be this finger pointing at the OP wondering why she had a younger child there in the first place or what she thought she was doing sitting down on a bench.

And I'm sorry if that sounds sharper than I mean it to, but I've just had my mother on the phone and she's given me a cracking headache.