to think DH should be able to control the volume of his incessant earth-shattering sneezes?

[ByTheSea]

They don't ALL have to be THAT loud, do they? He says they are involuntary spasms and he can't help it but I am able to sneeze less loudly for the sake of others' eardrums and hearts. AIBU?

My dm was an attention seeking sneezer " shouting a whoosh u!" At the same time. The day I left home was a happy day indeed:)

This thread is brilliant and some of the descriptions have really made me laugh and cheered me up. I am married to a shouter of sneezes. His are multiple and I swear they make me want to hit him about the head repeatedly with a frying pan. "AHAURGH! AHAURGHA! AHAURGAAAAH' he goes while I glare at him balefully, sitting on my hand stop it creeping towards the LeCreuset. Me, I just go 'ts' like a tiny, sickly kitten. 'Ts' that's all you need! Mind you I will probably explode one day from all the built up pressure inside.

You are all awful

I'm hearing a lot of criticism but no actual constructive advice as to how a loud sneezer would actually modify the volume of a sneeze.

I don't think it's actually possible.

My sister has accused me of doing attention seeking sneezes (but she interprets pretty much everything as attention seeking) - but I really don't think it's possible to 'lower the volume'.

it is the cross some of us have to bear :)

Thank you for this thread, I'm glad to know I'm alone and not unreasonable...I have one of those monsters sneezer..He has a cold 365 days per year...he also have clear snot coming out of his nose in the morning it drips like tap water and I have sent him this thread as proof that I have got every right to tell him of when he does one of his horrible sneeze.

My sneezes are only of average volume, but I once sneezed so violently I actually fractured a rib - hurt for about a year!

Ouch! Wtf? I've only managed to ever pull muscles in my back or neck..

I was turning over in bed and did a MAHOOOOSIVE sneeze at the same time. I was literally left unable to move, snot everywhere, plus I wet myself

The snot snorters are great until you realise the snot has shot off so far you cant find it finds it crusted up wall a week later

Im proper classy me

Jeesus Christ. I'm laughing and DS is looking strangely.

I once had a massive elastic snot come out when I sneezed and didn't have a tissue. The older guy I had a crush on offered me one when he saw me trying to wipe it with my sleeve. Not the best moment of my life.

i cannot believe the randomness, but totally spot on-ness of this thread.

Here is an imitation of DH sneezing ...

WwWWWWWWwWWWW-aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-CHEWwwwwwwwwwWWwWWWW

^ This is what his face looks like after.

And now DS copies him, bloody hell!

^ My face after that performance.

Surely it is just a habit, and it can be controlled ie all the vocal stuff that goes with it?

I only say that because I am a reasonably quiet sneezer but I deliberately made it a very loud sneeze the other day, so it is easy to make yourself do it, or not do it, isnt it?

Bekind I nearly wet myself reading your post, thats so funny. Maybe plastic sheets next time?

OK own up, who has sneezed and farted at the same time?

Oh yes, Daisy. Of course. Every once in a while.

YA totally NBU! My DH is the same. He says he can't do anything about it. I say laziness!

But then the tiny "mew" or "tss" sneezers annoy me too. Just sneeze. In a normal, moderate, grown up non prissy/ear-drum-shattering way!

PMSL my partners exactly the same, and usually as someone else wrote at the top of the thread, when the baby has jus dropped off. He has a huge nose though so I put it down to that

Thank you ToysRLuv, kindred spirits, I did it at work once OMG glad I dont work there any more,

I also have a sniffer, he can't blow his nose as he gets nose bleeds total weasel so I have to suffer the constant sniff sniff ARGHHHHHH!!!

My Dh doesn't really sniff, but blows his nose a lot of times on some days (no allergies). The bed and his trouser pockets are littered with tissues. And he always blows his nose straight after.. ahem.. pleasuring me orally. It's a bit of a passion killer. I feel like shouting: "just wipe it on the back of your hand or something you wuss"!

Dh sneezes really really loudly for about 5 minutes at a time. It is very annoying, but what's worse is the occasional high-pitched screamer that physically hurts your ears. They often come out of nowhere and terrify strangers.

He claims he can't stop them as then he gets massive nose bleeds. The poor people in his office, I feel for them I really do.

I will never complain about DH's sneezes again. Not after being sat two seats down from a guy on the tube earlier who started sneezing "haaaaaa-pffffft!" as we left one station and carried on until we reached the next one. The urge to punch a stranger has never been so strong.

I have mastered the nearly-silent sneeze in order to not disturb DS while bf. If I can do that, surely people can lower the volume slightly?

I too can silent sneeze, when I suggested he tried it he got scared he'd explode his head. Entirely possible.

YANBU. My DH, too. I HATE it and I get a bit stabby every time. I have tried to convince him he'll permanently damage his sinuses but he is adamant he can't help it and can't understand how my sneezes are so quiet and controlled!

Of course it's possible not to make that fucking horrendous noise. Just don't yell "ah ah HOOOOO" at the same time.

Joins queue of people ready to slap other people round the face with chairs.