to think DH should be able to control the volume of his incessant earth-shattering sneezes?

[ByTheSea]

They don't ALL have to be THAT loud, do they? He says they are involuntary spasms and he can't help it but I am able to sneeze less loudly for the sake of others' eardrums and hearts. AIBU?

Argh, my DH does this too, it really annoys me
I know he can help it as when he sneezes without warning, it's a nice normal one, he only does a shouty one if there is notice and then complains he can't help it

DGF is the worst for this. Makes me nearly crap myself every time. His sneezes might actually be the loudest human made noices ever. Luckily DH has normal sneezes. Like me. Sort of medium loudness.

On the flip side, I find people with quiet or squeaky sneezes really weird. Makes a grown woman look a bit ridiculous when they do a really dainty, high pitched "atchiu"..

"noices"? Noises or voices, I guess..

I am a petite woman. And a bit posh. My sneeze could wake the dead. It's really embarrassing. My dad is the same.

Those people who do the silent sneezes? Yeah, .

Not read thread, but yeah, MrZing could do with a sneeze volume control.

it's like he's having a competition of who can sneeze louder - him or him?

Lol at ninja sneezer :)

it's like he's having a competition of who can sneeze louder - him or him?

my ds does this-he claims a-he cant help it and b-its his aspergers, he doesn't understand the social niceties.. total fuckwitterery-he is just an idle sod and us telling him not to break the windows is a clue even he can get. (he's 24 btw)

Silent sneezers are weird. I used to live with a girl who's sneeze was a little head nod, coupled with an almost inaudible 'pfft'. She'd do loads in a row. Surprisingly annoying.

This thread has made me roar with laughter!

DP sneezes incredibly loudly, his work colleagues have pulled him up on it and said it's attention seeking. I've screamed several times when I'm hit with an unexpected booming DP sneeze.

He's also adamant that he's very 'stoical' when he's ill...is he fuck, it's all he ever talks about, so much so, I have to laugh each time he mentions his reserve when it comes to him talking about his health. Honestly, what a queen

Mine always does 2. Never more, never less. Once he's done the first I am on edge till he does the second.

And always when the DCs have just gone to bed.

:( I'm a loud sneezer. Not always, if I can feel them coming on I can keep them quieter. It's the sneezes I didn't know were coming that get me. I sound like an elephant, they even make me jump.

pictish

I know!

and he always wins!

I am a social pariah, I didn't realise loud sneezing caused so much inner rage. It is not just men, many people are affected. Wheres the love mumsnetters?

Oh yes Boo - silent sneezers are even more annoying. I never trust a silent sneezer!

My colleague used to do mega loud sneezes, she said you should never try and stifle a sneeze as it could cause an aneurysm.

I told her she should risk it.

squoosh

I have a weird sneezing thing occasionally. When I go to a restaurant in the evening, sometimes I get a sneezing fit. No idea why. Never happens at lunch. Maybe it's pepper, but I've never noticed someone using loads of pepper before I start sneezing.

At least I don't do mahoosive loud operatic sneezes. But it's still irritating.

WOW - I sometimes do outrageously loud violent sneezes.

I didn't know it was possible to control them or turn the volume down - will someone please tell me how to do this?

You mean vipers, you.

I sneeze very loudly (I have made someone at the far end of an open plan office full of people jump and go 'Jesus FUCK!' when I once sneezed unexpectedly at work). Funnily enough, they assumed it was a man sneezing...

I would love to sneeze quietly. It drives DH mad as well, but there is nothing I can do about it, I've tried. When I get some warning of a sneeze coming, I can generally control it enough to keep it below 10 decibels, but 9 times out of 10 it comes out of nowhere and is about four of them in rapid succession - and it is bloody loud.

I couldn't. My eardrums would burst. I quite often think what I would do if I were hiding from an ax murderer and felt a sneeze coming on..

Excellent thread, I'm cackling away to myself here! I am also married to an attention-seeking sneezer who insists he can't control his ear piercing sneezes. He also creaks loudly when he sits down for some bizarre reason
My mum does horrid sneezes too. She puts an "H" im front of her "atchu" and it sounds like "hate-you!" Always irritated the fook out of me as a teenager!

My OH sneezes so loudly. Sometimes its hilarious, sometimes I want to slap him round the face with a chair.

He also clears his nose every morning making a sound like an actual elephant.