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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think DH should be able to control the volume of his incessant earth-shattering sneezes?

169 replies

ByTheSea · 30/09/2013 21:38

They don't ALL have to be THAT loud, do they? He says they are involuntary spasms and he can't help it but I am able to sneeze less loudly for the sake of others' eardrums and hearts. AIBU?

OP posts:
CoolItKittens · 30/09/2013 22:21

YANBU. Mine was so over-dramatic in his sneezing once that he somehow managed to throw himself from sitting to standing halfway across the room. I laughed so hard I was getting genuinely panicked that I couldn't breathe properly!

WahIzzit · 30/09/2013 22:23

These posts are making me giggle and dh wants to know whats so funny Grin

ImTooHecsyForYourParty · 30/09/2013 22:24

back when I was young and pretentious, I used to actually SAY "a-TISS-u" when I sneezed.

You may now call me a twat.

Grin
FortyDoorsToNowhere · 30/09/2013 22:25

I am a loud sneezer, I hate it.

The most embarrassing one was at my nan funeral, every one turned and looked at me.

If you can tell me how to do a quiet sneeze then I will try and control them.

YourMaNoBraBackOfMyCar · 30/09/2013 22:26

Tbf I always bite (physically) my tongue accidentally when sneezing. I don't know how. It fucking kills. I have also pulled muscles. On a separate-ish subject dh nearly swung for me after I once woke our newborn dd2 up with a massive sleep fart (normally I'm discreet but hey I was sleeping. What can you do?) He said it was like a million pieces of paper being torn at once in a cathedral. Nice to know I've had revenge. Shame i was unconscious. :(

ShatnersBassoon · 30/09/2013 22:26

Hecsy, you twat. I'm going to put my sneezing masterclass on Youtube for young fools such as you were.

VBisme · 30/09/2013 22:27

I too am a loud sneezer, I've found it's the least painful way, but do tend to dash out of rooms to do it.

archieplacid · 30/09/2013 22:28

I have force fed mine antihistamines...then to cap it all, he sniffs. He sits and fucking sniffs all fucking night. sniff...sniff....sniff...sniff
I am so glad someone has mentioned this because his sneezing and sniffing drive me to distraction. Big big sneezes with a follow through squeal at the end....
I have cried on a couple of bad episodes.
"Will you shut the fuck up, stop sniffing, stop fucking sneezing, stop loking at me like that...just fucking stop it all. NOW".
Seriously though, it winds me up

Boosterseat · 30/09/2013 22:28

I like my loud sneezes but I find them really satisfying Grin

Little facial orgasms.

Xollob · 30/09/2013 22:29

Oh God yes. Aren't sneezes meant to be related to orgasms in some way. I think all our DH's have been sniffing the pepper pot!

FryOneFatManic · 30/09/2013 22:30

I can't control my sneezes. They catch me unawares most of the time and I have a single loud explosion. It's even been violent enough to propel me in my wheeled computer chair for a little distance, and I'm heavy enough for this to be significant Grin

I'd prefer not to do this, but it ain't gonna change at my age. It actually hurts to try to muffle them, so I don't any more.

We're all different, you know.

bearleftmonkeyright · 30/09/2013 22:30

I sometimes have a tourettes episode after sneezing,really hard and fast ...arrrrchooo fuck!

Original poster
ByTheSea · 30/09/2013 22:30

On a bizarre note, I had a boyfriend eons ago who said sneezing was the next best thing to orgasm. I wonder if DH secretly feels that way and thus sneezes with such gusto.

OP posts:
bearleftmonkeyright · 30/09/2013 22:30

I sometimes have a tourettes episode after sneezing,really hard and fast ...arrrrchooo fuck!

NoelHeadbandz · 30/09/2013 22:31

And here we get to the CRUX of the matter- and it is as I suspected- the loud sneezer ENJOYS the loud sneeze!

I feel vindicated.

archieplacid · 30/09/2013 22:33

Ever had an eargasm?!
You know when you really enjoy having a good old scratch on or around the ear.
Go on.
Do it now.

NoelHeadbandz · 30/09/2013 22:33

I do the aachoo- ow fuck fuck shit that hurt -ones sometimes too- usually when I'm on my period Confused

StanleyLambchop · 30/09/2013 22:34

I wonder if anyone has ever used annoying sneezes as grounds for divorce

I think it is probably more like grounds for murder. The jury would acquit without even leaving the room.....

IneedAsockamnesty · 30/09/2013 22:34

How do loud sneezers do so without wetting themselves?

archieplacid · 30/09/2013 22:35

I sneeze and have a little piddle at the same time. old age sucks

WahIzzit · 30/09/2013 22:35

I think its most enjoyable when the sneeze has been tickling your inner nose for a while, but refuses to come out. and then you look around desperately for some bright light through watery eyes, knowing that the light should release the bastard sneeze. And it works and you feel all satisfied :)

BabylonReturns · 30/09/2013 22:38

Oh god I'm weeping with laughter at this!!! Grin

SecretWitch · 30/09/2013 22:38

My husband sneezed so loudly at hotel once the people in the room next to us shouted " shut the fuck up!"

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 30/09/2013 22:40

I really believe we are in fact all married to the same man.

Arf at mini facial orgasms :)

MoDiddly · 30/09/2013 22:41

If I close my mouth when I sneeze, I wee Blush

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