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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think DH should be able to control the volume of his incessant earth-shattering sneezes?

169 replies

ByTheSea · 30/09/2013 21:38

They don't ALL have to be THAT loud, do they? He says they are involuntary spasms and he can't help it but I am able to sneeze less loudly for the sake of others' eardrums and hearts. AIBU?

OP posts:
NoelHeadbandz · 30/09/2013 21:59

I have DEMONSTRATED how to sneeze quietly to him, I have felt a sneeze building and flapped my hands at him going Look Look, and then sneezed SILENTLY. The sneeze of a ninja.

He still maintains he can't help it, I still maintain he's a fuckwit.

God I'm actually getting quite angry now

Grin
GiraffesAndButterflies · 30/09/2013 22:00

YABU. Some people can't help loud sneezes. I'm one of them!

TotemPole · 30/09/2013 22:00

It hurts when I sneeze with a closed mouth.

GigiDarcy · 30/09/2013 22:01

Oops! Blush My sneezes are incredibly loud but I don't make them that way on purpose! Hurts my throat too. Sorry to all!

AcidNails · 30/09/2013 22:01

I can't do a silent sneeze. If I sneeze with my mouth shut its painful and the force feels powerful enough to detach my nose from my face.

But I do at least get embarrassed when I sneeze.

MakeHayIsAWhaleNow · 30/09/2013 22:01

Hate this. I can (and do) sneeze silently - it's not hard and just as satisfying. Get funny looks though....

AmandaPandtheNightmareMonsters · 30/09/2013 22:02

It doesn't have to be silent, but it's just habit if it comes with a shout attached (yes, father, that would be you)

Repeatedlydoingthetwist · 30/09/2013 22:03

Speaking as a loud sneezer I find that if I try to sneeze quietly not only do they normally end up being louder, but they also seem to end up with snot and spit flying everywhere. My DP is a lucky lucky man.

MakeHayIsAWhaleNow · 30/09/2013 22:04

You paint a beautiful picture, BigOrange! Wink

runes · 30/09/2013 22:04

I can't really complain though, I had pregnancy rhinitis and violently sneezed about 20 times a day. My work colleagues thought it was hilarious. Several theories for the cause of the sneezing were expounded before I googled and found pregnancy rhinitis.

shewhowines · 30/09/2013 22:05

I've tried often to do a quiet sneeze as I am embarrassed by the noise I make. It's impossible though. How anybody does one of those neat little quiet ones, is a complete mystery to me.

squoosh · 30/09/2013 22:05

A pox on all hooty nose blowers too. Feck right off with your unnecessarily dramatic bodily expulsions.

ShatnersBassoon · 30/09/2013 22:05

Years ago I have him a sneezing masterclass. I made myself sneeze by rubbing the inside of my nostril with a rolled up tissue, again and again until my eyes were streaming. He still didn't understand how stupid his massive explosions are and carried on. I don't know why I bother.

squoosh · 30/09/2013 22:06

'the sneeze of a ninja'

Grin
rowrowrowtheboat · 30/09/2013 22:10

At least none of them are sneezing and farting at the same time, or you're not letting on about that bit...

neverputasockinatoaster · 30/09/2013 22:10

YABU. If you think the noisy sneezes are annoying from your side you should try living on the sneezer's side of them!

Every time I sneeze I sneeze 3 times in succession. DH always look at me in that way and asks 'Was that totally necessary?'

My answer is always a two fingered wave - unless the DC's are about...

I have tried and tried to tame my sneezes so now they sound like someone has trodden on a small dog! Sneezing makes my ears hurt and these days I also have to ensure my legs are crossed! Blush. Sometimes I sneeze so violently I hurt my arms and my back!

Varya · 30/09/2013 22:11

My husband does the same and if we are together in the car I catch his germs propelled at speed in the confined space. Burial under the patio might help!

Original poster
ByTheSea · 30/09/2013 22:13

Love the responses. :) I'm not asking for silent or even quiet sneezes, just something short of the dynamite-fuelled explosions every sneeze seems to bring.

OP posts:
squoosh · 30/09/2013 22:13

A sneeze fart or a snart is a truly satisfying feeling.

Flibbertyjibbet · 30/09/2013 22:13

I do huge loud sneezes. Always have. People who do big sneezes cant help it. If I could do silent ones I would but trying to keep it down or my mouth shut makes it hurt and has sometimes had , er, a negative effect on my piles. I had preganacy rhinitis. 5 or 6 massive sneezes in a row each time. My work colleagues used to joke about me sneezing the baby out....
If you can do quiet noises then don't be so judgemental about us noisy ones.

rowrowrowtheboat · 30/09/2013 22:17

Snart

rowrowrowtheboat · 30/09/2013 22:17

So it is Wink

YourMaNoBraBackOfMyCar · 30/09/2013 22:17

Dh does a scream. How or why I haven't chinned the loud bastard I'll never know. It sets my teeth on edge, the kids get upset and the cat attacks him. What about my mum though? Her smoking induced coughing fits by my bedroom door at 6 in the morning with a raspy snotty sound have made me paranoid about loud coughing. I'd hate to be as murderously hated. :o

bearleftmonkeyright · 30/09/2013 22:18

I really try hard to do cute little lady like "choos" but my sneezes have got louder and louder as I get older. Why? It's really embarrassing. I sound like an exploding hyena.

WahIzzit · 30/09/2013 22:20

Yanbu

I agree about the attention seeking, unnecessarily loud, almost theatrical sneezes dh does that scare the dc and I half to death. I am quite certain if he was to catch it in a tissue that would a. Contain his germs rather than spreading them to anyone within 10 metre radius Hmm and b. Muffle the roar of the sneeze so it wouldn't be so loud.

The worst is when he is in the car and needs to sneeze. He opens the window and sneezes out, but the wind just blows it back in Hmm