WIBU to move out and take everything

[FarOverTheRainbow]

Bit of background. My OH decided to end out relationship a few days ago. We have 1 DC under 1. I don't want the relationship to end at all, we have our problems and decieded we would give it one last try for each other but a couple of weeks in after telling me he had no intention of ending things he no has. I'm heart broken. We rent a house of his parents and they have said if I stay they will increase the rent to so can't afford to stay so I'm moving out with DD. The tenancy is all in my name. XP has said he is moving in wen I love out so the only things I'm allowed to take is DDs things because he needs the rest. I'm a SAHM mum and he has a good paying job, I think should have most the bigger stuf like fridge, dryer, sofa but he says I have nothing. When we brought anything we both put money into everything and had 1 pit so it was all just "ours" I'm angry I'm being forced out my home with DD and now he says I'm not allowed anything. So WIVU to take it anyway?

Please don't flame me if I am, my heads a mess, I've lost my whole life and now I'm expected to start again from
Nothing while he has everything

Say thank you, you will show these to your legal advisor and get back to him.

use this to underline the fact that you are getting professional advice.

Whatever you do, dont believe anything about "if you don't sign this now my parents will withdraw the offer/go bankrupt".

Tell him that the document won't stand up in court anyway without "informed consent" (as opposed to you signing something you don't understand under duress) so there is no point him pushing you on this.

What an utter shitbag!

You need to forget any kind of civility until he stops treating you and your daughter like an inconvenience for a start.
My SIL was in rented when her and her OH split, they told her she could stay but that the rent would go sky high so she went into a hostel (nowhere near as bad as it sounds actually, lots of people there in the same boat for support etc) and is now in a lovely house - she had to ride it out for 8 weeks before she was offered her place. I am not sure where you are but here demand is HIGH.

Do not give the prick anything you might need - they have stopped offering care grants now so nobody will GIVE you anything decent. If you need to fight I am sure I speak for everyone here when I say that we will be here to offer you support and advice EVERY. STEP. OF. THE. WAY.

Get your documents together, make sure you are ready to use the law if need be, make sure that your local authority are aware of your housing situation - they will want to help as much as they can.

What an arse!!!!... take as much as you possibly can, what is your dd suppose to do. His parents are arses as well imo.

Definitely do not sign a thing. I know difficult this must be but you have to ride out this tough time for your DD's future. Remember every little thug he does - in fact write it down. It will be useful for court if it comes to that and useful to remind yourself how shoddily he's treating you.

I'm not going to sign anything. I've told him I will get someone to look over it first.

op, when you're feeling scared, weak, upset, feel like giving up, etc, remember this: he wants to kick you and your (and his!) dd out on the street with NOTHING but the clothes on your backs. he really doesnt give a shit what happens to either of you. its disgusting! you want to stop loving him? remind yourself of this every damn day. you are so much stronger than you realise and you have support and the law on your side.

i cant offer any advice, you've had amazing advice already... but i agree with pretty much everyone above. do NOT move out. do NOT sign anything. do NOT agree to anything.

it sounds like your inlaws are up to something dodgy too! why the flip are they so determind to get their grand daughter living on the streets? you are better off without any of them tbh

The only thing I've agreed to do is sign the papers to transfer the holiday we have booked over to his mates and his girlfriends name. Then ill get some of the money back towards it

Can I suggest you ask to see the money (cash not cheque) before you sign and exchange cash for signed papers at same time. Sounds like you will not be able to trust him to do the descent thing and pass over your half once he has your signature.

Have you changed the locks yet - I would do so as soon as possible and put a chain on the door as well

Just had a thought - have your inlaws told you themselves that they want you out or they're putting up the rent ? Could your OH be spinning you a line to get you out and it have nothing to do with his parents ? Just wondering if it would be worth contacting them (in writing ) to check the lie of the land ?

I guess the grandparents also believe the OP can just walk into a council house with hot and cold running benefits. If they understand the reality, they may well change what they ask of her.

Are you sure his parents are declaring the rent?

I'm 100% sure his parent no what he is telling me about upping the rent and stuff. His mother is an evil women who hates me and his dad goes along with what she tells him too.

I'm nt sure if their declaring it, I pay through a bank into theirs and that's it.

Ill get the money off him outside the hoilday place and it will be out away in my bag before I go in and say anything.

Seeing him today has hurt so much

Check your tennancy agreement, some mortgages and insurance forbid renting to tennants on benefits.

I've read through my agreement and I can't see nothing that mentions benefits. It does say I can't change the locks without giving the landlord a key though

All tenancy agreements say that about the keys.

But ignore it.

You are protecting yourself, thet for sure will not respect your privacy/boundaries. Your ex has threatened to strip you of your rights to your possessions.

Trust me, i've researched this myself, and used it against the total poisonous bitch from he'll ex-landlady.

If they want a copy of the keys, the worst they can do is take you to court. That'll take months.

If they want you out, make them take you to court. Or you'll ne intentionally homeless and won't ! Be helped by council.

Anything they want you to do. Don't. Make them make you.

Don't budge, don't allow access, don't engage.

get yourself some legal eagles, and please trust me on the keys! Your exbf will not think twice about entering your home.

They won't even know you've changed the locks until they try to gain access anyway, as soon as they've done this, you have the proof you need to justify having changed the locks anyway! Keep the locks and keys and either change back on the day you have to leave, or give them the old locks/keys. Important, as these belong to the LL.

The mortgage contract won't have anything to do with the tenancy agreement.

A mortgage may forbid rental, but that's as part of the loan, not to do with the rental.

If a LL is forbidden to rent out a property, but does anyway, it won't invalidate or affect any one of the tenants rights.

Bottom line: a tenant has a right to quiet enjoyment of their home. NOTHING trumps that right.

The tenant has all the rights in their home, who enters it, and who doesn't. Nothing, barring an extreme emergency, permits anyone legally entering your home, unless you expressly give permission.

Once you have a tenancy agreement, no-one will know that you're claiming benefits.

I'm nervous to see him again this morning

So don't see him.text him saying put papers through door then Double lock the door don't answer it.

It's not just the papers today. He said if I sign the holiday over ill get some of the money and he will help with half the rent so I have to go even though I don't wanna sign the holiday over

If you don't want to sign the holiday over then don't. Sounds like he's making all the demands at the moment and what about you and dd? unless you really want the money from selling the holiday, and make sure you get half, then don't sign it over. Would you go on the holiday with a friend and dd instead?

Bloody hell. He is vile isn't he?
Wants to end things but still have it all his own way!
Don't do anything you don't want to do.
Go on the holiday yourself with your dc, tell him to take his share out of your maintainence.

We had a holiday booked so I took my sister.
Any decent bloke would be happy to let you have the holiday after what he's done.

I wanted to go on the holiday and that why I refuse to sign it but then I wouldn't be able to stay in the house for the 2m unless he helped and the money I get will come in useful so supose I hve too