WIBU to move out and take everything

[FarOverTheRainbow]

Bit of background. My OH decided to end out relationship a few days ago. We have 1 DC under 1. I don't want the relationship to end at all, we have our problems and decieded we would give it one last try for each other but a couple of weeks in after telling me he had no intention of ending things he no has. I'm heart broken. We rent a house of his parents and they have said if I stay they will increase the rent to so can't afford to stay so I'm moving out with DD. The tenancy is all in my name. XP has said he is moving in wen I love out so the only things I'm allowed to take is DDs things because he needs the rest. I'm a SAHM mum and he has a good paying job, I think should have most the bigger stuf like fridge, dryer, sofa but he says I have nothing. When we brought anything we both put money into everything and had 1 pit so it was all just "ours" I'm angry I'm being forced out my home with DD and now he says I'm not allowed anything. So WIVU to take it anyway?

Please don't flame me if I am, my heads a mess, I've lost my whole life and now I'm expected to start again from
Nothing while he has everything

Thanks sock, do I mention that its ILs and they want me out because we split up or...?

If your ex and the pil start making trouble - phone calls, threatening texts, mail etc, please don't hesitate to let the police know on 101.

I'm concerned from what you've said that they don't have any care for your child, and could turn abusive.

Look after you two first and foremost.

I'm just do shocked at their total unconcern for your daughter. Who would do this?
All I can say is what a great life you will have eventually free from these total bastards!
Jeeze!

This is so fucking shit Far. I have nothing to offer, others have said it much better then me. But I am so angry that you are being treated like this and can totally understand how much you must long for him to make it all better again.

The thing is he is a gargantuan twat to treat you like this and, although it might not feel like it now, this really is making things better by excising such a horrible, thoughtless, selfish dick from yours and your daughter's life.

Yes mention it but only do so after the call asser has put you through to the solisiter.

Once you get past the initial person who answers the phone tell them everything. The person you will end up talking to will be an actual solisiter under legal aid its free to you the first person will go through your finances make sure you only give them your details and that you exclude your ex's if they question why no benefits just tell the truth but word it like "just broke up need to apply but have no access to any of ex's income" don't say your looking for separation advice as its all funded under legal aid and that is not covered unless you can prove DV (incidently I'm pretty sure the situation your in is abuse but I'm not sure the adding up robot who decides will agree).

Just make it really clear its housing legal advice you need.

Oh my god

Are you ok OP? What's happened? Are you in danger?

Has something happened or have you just had a shock because I referred to the situation as abusive?

I just phoned them and they were so so helpful!thank you for the link socks.

They've basically said what everyone else is saying. If I leave then I'm making myself homeless and the council have no legal responsibility to help me. They said landlord needs to go down th e legal route which I don't want because then they might include my DD. They said they either need to prove I've been a bad tenant by not paying rent/noise or damaged the property which I haven't or they need to go through the court to increase the rent then they have to give me 2m notice then 28 days before I can go to the council and say i can't afford this I'm going to be homeless and they might help me then or say come back in 28 days.

There's no way I can get around this. I either have to stay and out up with all the shit and get somewhere from the council eventually or I can leave and maybe wait a year before I get somewhere

Why can't all this be straight forward? Am I not in a horrible enough situation that I can't just have abit of luck

Sorry I pressed. To soon

What do you mean by not wanting to make them force you out legally "incase they include your dd"?

If its that your fretting about them harming you and dd then you have a reasonable case to present to the LA for unsafe accommodation due to DV and harassment so may not have to wait,just make sure you tell them that your LL is your ex's parents.

If your concerned about your ex causing you harm or duress then you can apply for an occupation order this costs £75 to put in the application you can do it as an emergency and it prohibits him from entering the home.

Now is the time to explain to EX OH that if he wants you to go and get loads of benefits, that it doesn't work if you just leave, because you become intentionally homeless. So your IL have to respect the lease and give notice legally, or his daughter will have to live in a slum.

I think he probably believes you can just walk into something nice, he needs the facts.

Why do your IL have to go to court to increase rent? They are private LL they can increase it however they like. They can also just not renew your tenancy at the end of the lease because they want the property back for family. That bit of the advice sounds odd to me.

I mean about DD. I don't want anything to go legal in case they push my XP to take me to court over DD. There is a lot of backstory to that.

They said that they have to go down section 21 and the letter I need to take to the council will have to be a legal one or something, the women is sending it out to me in writing. I don't have an end date on my lease.

I haven't spoken to XP about this yet. I need to try Nd get it right in my own head first.

I don't have any advice I can give you about the legal matters or the like because I don't know how it works in the UK, but I think she should start gathering some info. Save every text, email and other communication you get from your XP and his parents from here on in and anything you have before that, and when you talk to them slip your phone into your pocket on record so you have as much ammo as possible. You never know when it could come in handy. It's likely that there'll be a lot of 'he said, she said,' regarding your DD and your properties if it does go to court and it'll help to have rock-solid evidence that he's putting his own interests over those of his child.

My love, it's ok. Please try to stay calm. NOThING bad can happen overnight.

Totally understandable, but completely erroneously you are mixing everything up and are scared witless.

Let's split it all up and see what's what and you will get through this in one piece.

Housing: they simply CAN'T treat a tenant the way they are threatening to. There a a shit load of laws set up to protect you.

I also bet that they've put it in your name to hide something. This is probably why they are being so vicious about getting rid of you so fast and at any cost.

What this is will come to light, and you will be able to use it as further protection.

If they put the rent up illegally, the CAB/shelter can help you tell them so, which will buy time.

If they serve you illegal notice (a minimum of 2 months) again Shelter/CAB will help you here.

Let me explain something really clearly to you. Regardless of whether they ask you to vacate in a legally binding manner or not, you MUST NOT LEAVE. They will have to make you leave by court order, and even then by Bailiff in order for the council to help you (iirc, shelter will advise)

If you leave voluntarily, the council won't help you.

Another thing. No-one, but no-one has the right to enter YOUR home without your permission. If you feel that they will gain access and steal possessions from you home, you ARE within your rights to refuse all access, changing the locks (regardless of anything in any contract) you can/will reinstate the locks when you leave, or leave the old ones, with all keys for them.

Trust me, I had to do this and got legal advice from all over the shop, cab, internet, here, and shelter and had case law to back it up.

Your DD: the GP have no right to any access, and tbh after this stunt, neither should they.

No-one can/will take your DD away.

Given the threats you're getting, i'd get a restraining order and poss an occupation order to ban your ex from contact.

You asked how do you stop loving him? Simple, he'll show you how, just open your eyes and see what he's doing to your DD. He's disgusting.

To reiterate, you will have to let this situation go all the way to court AND beyond. This is a long game. Dig in.

We'll be here for you every second of that journey!

It'll be OK, I promise!

If you have to rent privately, you can claim housing benefit, it's not a council house or nothing. Maybe you should speak to the CAB about that.

Also he will need to pay maintenance for DD, you would get tax credits, possibly money towards your council tax, income support and obviously child benefit still.

Look at all your options before doing anything and please don't panic yet, everything will come together in due course.

Do not talk to your ex about any of the advice you have been given he will feed it back to them making it easier for them to do what they want.

Sometime in the future he will go to court for contact if he can afford to because once you have removed the ability to bully you its the only way he can continue to have some control,so he will they all do.

Just expect it allow for it and protect yourself by taking it in your stride,don't be phased then chances are he will give up.

Thank you for all your help. I never wanted it to go as far as to court. I wanted to have an agreement between us and get it drawn up and signed but that's it.

He wants to come over in the morning and talk about who's having what and I don't really know what to say to him. I've said ill move out by the end of the week so if my plans change then I need to let him know soon

I agree with all the advise that has been given above.

I am hoping the CAB can help you tomorrow morning, OP.

Why is the tenancy currently just in your name?

Please don't agree to anything until you have had time to process all the info you have been given.

Do they own other buy to let properties? Am wondering if they have a buy to let mortgage on it which is highly likely to state it cannot be rented to a family member (buy to let's are unregulated), hence it was put in your name. If this is the case, if he moves into the house his parents will be breaching their mortgage conditions, this May interest the lender. (Lenders are getting far stricter on this as a buy to let is a way to get around lenders income multiples and is fraud).

Tbh I don't know why it's just in my name. When we moved in the papers were just drawn up in my name and I never thought much about it just that it was abit of security for me having it in my name and if things ever did go bad between I wouldn't end up with nothing which is bullshit because its exactly whats happening

Yeh they buy to let but not sure what mortgage it is but it's an interesting point.

Is it worth me still going to CAB after the place I spoke to earlier?