WIBU to move out and take everything

[FarOverTheRainbow]

Bit of background. My OH decided to end out relationship a few days ago. We have 1 DC under 1. I don't want the relationship to end at all, we have our problems and decieded we would give it one last try for each other but a couple of weeks in after telling me he had no intention of ending things he no has. I'm heart broken. We rent a house of his parents and they have said if I stay they will increase the rent to so can't afford to stay so I'm moving out with DD. The tenancy is all in my name. XP has said he is moving in wen I love out so the only things I'm allowed to take is DDs things because he needs the rest. I'm a SAHM mum and he has a good paying job, I think should have most the bigger stuf like fridge, dryer, sofa but he says I have nothing. When we brought anything we both put money into everything and had 1 pit so it was all just "ours" I'm angry I'm being forced out my home with DD and now he says I'm not allowed anything. So WIVU to take it anyway?

Please don't flame me if I am, my heads a mess, I've lost my whole life and now I'm expected to start again from
Nothing while he has everything

I am delighted that he texted it all! Yay! That is solid evidence - he's handed it all to you on a plate. Yay!

You don't even need to reply - there it all is in black and white. I appreciate it's hard to not reply (I hope you'll get there soon...) but he's pushed this into a different realm now, ie legal , and it's out of your hands. I always used to hope my ex had enough rope to hang himself, yours has done it with no prompting.

do tell the police all you have said here. They will move so fast, and conclusively, he won't know what has hit him.

That comment about breastfeeding making her ill just says it all OP. Keep that. It proves he is a moron and more importantly does not have her best interests at heart. He wants you to stop because he knows it's something only you can provide and he has no control. For all you know, it's what she's been given to eat and drink when she's with him that has made her sick.

If I were you I would start to move fast on all this now you have blocked access. Were the locks on your house changed? If he does ANYTHING that makes you anxious, call the local centre immediately, and the police if necessary.

He is a nasty piece of work with a nasty family egging him on.

You are doing the right thing, seeing the refuge people. I, too, think you need to get out of there, into a safe place. Please do involve the police. You are not in a safe place, and he is escalating his abuse. This will get worse and it's really not worth digging in to keep the house. The Council will have to rehouse you, but I would say go into a refuge first as you can do that immediately. Things are just things; your life and health are irreplaceable.

Good luck, Far. Please get yourself out of there.

The locks on my house couldn't be changed because the barrel is attached to the door or something I've spoken to my neighbor and explained a little so if he shows up they will no something's not right.

Immgoing to crack on with the packing I think, still got alot to do and just get as much as I can moved out. I don't think e'llcpme to the house because he knows it will go against him in court but there's just that small possibility that he could

I've had to phone the police because he's been getting his sister to send me more nasty intimidating messages again and threatening me that he's going to see his solicitor today and the next time I withhold his child he'll give the go ahead to go to court and that I'm a lier he's concerned about DD because I'm obsessed and I'm empty and pathetic and he's more then capable of giving her formula and no health professional would say she needs breast milk so I've lost my ace card

Please get a new phone, and leave that one off so you get the messages to use against him, but no more.

Why does he keep doing this to me why can't he just leave me alone. I don't understand. Does he like scaring me and making me worry

Main point is, LET him go to court - what will he achieve?

Press the police for criminal action for harassment - tell them about the abuse, and make sure that you get all this noted - you will need every single thing to help protect your DD from them.

they have to have contact centre supervised only.

There's no way I can let her go to him and I'm scared of what there going to say

They will say I'm harassing him. They will make me look crazy

You are dealing with a top arsehole, and the last thing you will seem is crazy. You come across as a very sane but frightened woman who is doing her utmost to protect her child.

You have all the evidence anyone would need to prove that this man and his family are the ones doing the harassing.

You're doing so well.

What Dinky said. This man and his like have no chance. Let him carry on, he's hanging himself legally.

Please try not to worry, get WA help and get all the help you can from the police.

So all of these insults are by text? Very useful for you.

They are just empty threads so please try not to worry. What did the police say, are the going to come round and see you?

Most things by text yeh.

I feel sick waiting for them to come its horrible

I know. My Ex threatened me with all kinds of things and to anyone else the threats were ridiculous, but I could not see it, he had me so conditioned!

The Police IME are excellent at dealing with things like this, I am sure you will feel much better once you have spoken to them.

Don't feel sick - feel very satisfied. He's fucking himself and he has no idea. Every one of those texts is doing you a favour.

I only read the thread yesterday but the feeling of support for you here is lovely. You're not on your own!

I think he does like scaring you, yes. But remember, you've been advised to cut contact by your HV and WA. You're not doing this on a whim. Stay strong. His threats are meaningless but useful as evidence. Stay strong.

I really hope this last message gets him in some kind of trouble but I doubt it will.

They haven't turned up yet

He seems to know my every move. I went out for a couple of hours Friday night and he knows, I went to get shopping one day last week and he knows. I can't work out how

Have you got an iPhone? Is it possible he's using the phone to track you?

De-lurking to ask, have you got a smart phone, could he be tracking you on that? Or is it just nosey locals seeing you and telling him?

Keep strong, he's just trying to intimidate you.

Yeh I have an iPhone but I don't know about tracking ?

They just phoned to say there not coming tonight, the call centre didn't put it through right so there comig tomorrow tomorrow is not going to be a good day for me I've got loads to do

There's an app called 'Find my iPhone' - meant to be to help you find a lost phone but can be used to 'spy' on someone's whereabouts. It is possible to turn it off though!

Is it possible that a neighbour is telling him what you're doing?

And did he tell you all this by text? If so, that sounds very much like stalking, something which is illegal.

I had this too, before I had an iphone, so I have no idea but my Ex used to know really odd stuff about my comings and goings! I honestly thought he had the house 'bugged'!

Please try not to worry. Whatever you have planned for tomorrow must take back seat, you need to discuss this with the Police.

If he does turn up, please think to record him. I have a sleep app on my iphone which only turns on when there is a sound to record, which is very useful. Although, if he does turn up I would not allow him in.

Actually if you turn your phone off you might get him to send even more messages, which will be in your favour.

Please take care though, when abusers feel they are losing control they up the ante!

His sister works in a legal firm
So will be more then happy to represent him but his dad has some
Money so will e more then happy to pay the bill and let him owe them to beat me.

I doubt ill hear any more tbh he would have been advised not to have any more contact until Wednesday.

Tomorrow I have to phone te council lady, my HV again and then see the police. I haven't packed much stuff up either thinking I was going to be here for the long hall so it's about time I start that and I normally go to a breast feeding group which I did want to go along to and have a chat to the women there. They have notes from when this all started and I couldn't eat and lost weight and my milk supply dropped and they helped with that and I want some reassurance off them and it logged that its madness that my milk is making her ill

Does anyone have any idea roughly how long these things take to go through the courts?