It's been a long week for both of us. Long hours at work for him and me at home with dd1 (4) and dd2 (10 months).
DH rang earlier to say he's taking us out to dinner to our favourite Chinese restaurant which is in a huge shopping mall. I had an exchange to do for dd2's clothes and thought I'd get it sorted while we were there.
DH arrives home and we are all ready, we get to the restaurant in good spirits and DH comments on how we're going to have a nice fun evening after a long hard week. We eat and enjoy the meal. Then we walk into the shopping mall and i tell DH I'd like to do the exchange now to which he agrees.
We go to the shop and I start to look for some clothes I can exchange with and DH starts to look antsy but he's ok. I continue looking, and ask his opinion on a couple of outfits to which he gives helpful answers. I choose some clothes then say, I'm just going to take one last look on that side and then I'm done, and he gets really annoyed. He said, 'this is what you always do. This is what you did on holiday'. Then he sat there with a face on while I looked (for the whole of 2 minutes), and waited outside with dd1 while I did the exchange.
When I came out I was annoyed and he was in a big huff and we argued 
I'm really upset at how impatient he was being. I'd only been in the shop for a maximum of 20 minutes. I'm the one who usually does all the shopping and clothes buying and so what if he had to 'waste' 20 minutes of his precious time while I BOUGHT CLOTHES FOR OUR CHILD.
He said I always try to dominate every situation and that I ruined the plans, and we were supposed to be having family fun time. I asked him what plans and he said 'what's the fucking point in asking now'.
We drove home in silence (with dd1 chattering away to herself in the back) and have both come to bed without talking.
AIBU?
To be mad at DH for spoiling the evening?
TeaJunky · 28/09/2013 00:05
Hope you got a good nights sleep op
Just tell dh if he doesn't like shopping to get dinner somewhere other than a shopping centre 
Shopping is bollocks, so he is not BU about that bit but apart from that, there are clearly other things going on.
If he takes no responsibility for some domestic things (like buying clothes) and you are not happy with that, it needs sorting. If he would rather play games and passive-aggressively huff his way childishly around the place, that needs sorting. Etc.
It really isn't possible to tell from this one incident whether he is being a sulky manipulative dickhole who used the prospect of there being a non-existent 'something else' after dinner as stick with which to beat you, or whether this is indicating something else entirely.
Either way you don't seem to be communicating terribly well, and his "you don't understand, you'll never understand" could potentially be a 'cry for help' or something else. Time for a wee sit-down?
to reply to your reply to me yes, it is a big deal. I would have throttled my husband by now if every time we did everything as a family, he hijacked it and said oh, while we're here, I'll just... pick up the dry cleaning/exchange these shoes/do some window shopping/change my mobile phone tarif/pick up a new tie/pay some bills...
Not every trip has to be productive. It's ok to just go for a meal/see a film/go to the park/whatever.
Do you feel like doing something social is a waste of time and something has to be tacked onto it to give it a purpose? Genuine Q. Some people are like that.
20 minutes is nearly half an hour. It is a long time to get tacked on to something and I can well imagine it makes you want to scream if the person does it every bloody time. Particularly if they just unilaterally decide that you WILL be doing it and present it to you. We are going to nip and do X.
I'd be - hang on, you nip and do X in your own time, buster, I never agreed to that!
Poor op.
Did you get carried away because normally you have 2dcs to watch over, making browsing completely impossible difficult, then last night you actually had a few minutes in a shop in your own head because your dh was there to help?
It's ok. You can tell us 
Hope you've made up now. 
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What a bizarre thread! Interesting.
Both BU but it's life and shit happens
Hope you have a beautiful family day UNplanned for this lovely weather Saturday, that doesn't involve food and shops! Those days are always the bestest. In a field with a picnic may help for you 2!
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