To be mad at DH for spoiling the evening?

[TeaJunky]

It's been a long week for both of us. Long hours at work for him and me at home with dd1 (4) and dd2 (10 months).

DH rang earlier to say he's taking us out to dinner to our favourite Chinese restaurant which is in a huge shopping mall. I had an exchange to do for dd2's clothes and thought I'd get it sorted while we were there.

DH arrives home and we are all ready, we get to the restaurant in good spirits and DH comments on how we're going to have a nice fun evening after a long hard week. We eat and enjoy the meal. Then we walk into the shopping mall and i tell DH I'd like to do the exchange now to which he agrees.

We go to the shop and I start to look for some clothes I can exchange with and DH starts to look antsy but he's ok. I continue looking, and ask his opinion on a couple of outfits to which he gives helpful answers. I choose some clothes then say, I'm just going to take one last look on that side and then I'm done, and he gets really annoyed. He said, 'this is what you always do. This is what you did on holiday'. Then he sat there with a face on while I looked (for the whole of 2 minutes), and waited outside with dd1 while I did the exchange.

When I came out I was annoyed and he was in a big huff and we argued

I'm really upset at how impatient he was being. I'd only been in the shop for a maximum of 20 minutes. I'm the one who usually does all the shopping and clothes buying and so what if he had to 'waste' 20 minutes of his precious time while I BOUGHT CLOTHES FOR OUR CHILD.

He said I always try to dominate every situation and that I ruined the plans, and we were supposed to be having family fun time. I asked him what plans and he said 'what's the fucking point in asking now'.

We drove home in silence (with dd1 chattering away to herself in the back) and have both come to bed without talking.

My Mum does this. Every outing turned into a pilgrimage to find the perfect shoe/handbag/Stilton/BOGOF of anything! Then she wonders why my children have meltdowns after the 900th shop with not a single interesting thing for a child in it. So we go home like its a big sacrifice to leave so early, with requisite po face and one word answers all the way home.

It's not a gender thing for me just a boring as f*ck thing.

I think you're trying to be nice to the OP by fending off new posters who haven't RTFT commenting (and it actually pleases me to interpret it that way), but there must have been a way to do it so you didn't kick it all off again yourself

I read the thread. I just wanted to share my tedious shopping gripe. It's a subject very close to my heart .

'no problem there, sparkly'

Bet that's a relief to you Sparkly, you can stay

So was the 'night night' aimed at the posters you'd dismissed FutThe, and not you saying you were off to bed?

Just read a fair bit of the thread....Imagine thatyouI had suggested to DH that you go out for dinner then he suggests that we go to Restaurant X because secretly he wants to go to the nearby b and q to exchange the drill bits that he bought to put a shelf up in the family home. If he then proceeds to spend a disproportionate amount of time 'exchanging' said item....or rather looking about at other stuff would you get a bit pissed off? I have to say I would and have been in almost that very situation.....I was fuming. I think you were certainly both very tired and a bit fraught and indeed the molehill became a mountain. I am really glad you sorted out the impasse, your family day out #2 sounds just delightful

I'm very sorry kotinka, I was getting gin thread confusion and posted their name instead of yours.

Agentzigzag @ futhe and gin confusion.

Well. The other thing was going to get dessert in a naice place which had closed by the time I had gagged around the shop. Thus the Ice cream buying from the counter thingy. DH actually laughed when I told him about the ice cream thing and swore he didn't do it deliberately as he didn't think I'd want one from there, and why didn't I just ask for it (or buy it if I was going to continue to be stubborn? He said he would have bought his own if he'd decided he was going to be sulking, thanks for the plan of action DH ).

On holiday. Ahem welllll.

You can't take a child to a sweet shop and then say oh no we're not BUYING things, we're here to look at the intricate designs on the sweet jars my dear. Because if I was that kid I'd tell you to fuck right off!

Faffed faffed! Not gagged

( the clothes were all dire though maybe that's why it took me ages and I wouldn't be wrong if I was gagging )

I'm in SUCH a happy mood today. Got LOADS of sleep last night

'What were the other plans that were no longer worth bothering with did you ever find out?'

Any normal person would have just said what the plans were instead of being all passive/aggressive once he'd ended up doing something he didn't want to do. I'll bet there were no plans, it was just part of the huff (the whole fuckload of it )

And I wouldn't have been bothered if my OH had wanted to do a similar thing IF WE WERE THERE ALREADY rather then him have to do a separate trip. But only if the kids were ok which they obviously were.

My dh hates shopping. He would get annoyed at waiting around for 20 minutes. He would come find me, tell me he was taking the kids somewhere else and to call when I had finished. I don't see an issue with suggesting somewhere that can kill 2 birds with one stone. He's an adult, if he's getting annoyed waiting when you said you would just pop in then say so don't throw a bloody great sulk about it.

I wish people would read the whole thread! (or at least cheat the way I do on long threads and read the last few just to get the latest updates on the situation and not make a nob of myself )

I did read the thread. I was replying to your op, the fact that you've sorted it doesn't mean he didn't have a sulk.

I wasn't referring to you dear.

I'm glad you got it sorted Tea and had a lovely day with your family at the beach and a decent sleep. Reminds me of my dad saying, "All this fresh air, you'll sleep tonight!".

Not sure how this thread got so bonkers. You were both BU and NBU at the same time but you've made up now, had fish and chips and candy flossy. Arguments happen! C'est la vie.

I fucking hate shopping but there's always some way to assume oneself in a shopping mall, usually with food!

There's nothing worse (or better if you're an interferer) than someone thinking they've got the right to an opinion on an argument you've had candy.

But to actively invite people to stick their nebs in, on AIBU, well...Tea's only got herself to blame

I think you've been the perfect OP Tea, stubborn, outspoken, unreasonable but grudgingly deferentially bent to the Vipers will in the end.

Agentzigzag

You went to the beach and had fish and chips.

Bet they had a fresh doughnut an' all