Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not understand why you'd boast about a natural childbirth?

265 replies

HolaGuapo · 27/09/2013 12:34

A colleague of mine had a baby girl this morning.
Long backstory with the colleague but to cut it short - she's very strange, everything is always about her (constantly) and how much money etc she has and a couple of people at work have said things along the lines of she's a bit of a narcissist. Her life seems to be one constant, long drama (she's bragged about the fact that she tricked her ex into getting her pregnant and then at 30 weeks was engaged to a guy she'd known 2 weeks and he is apparently taking the baby on as his own) and she lies about a lot of things.

So I went on Facebook, saw she'd posted 'DD born this morning, weighs x' etc. at the end of the status she put 'no pain relief used except a tiny bit of gas and air. So proud of myself'. I commented congratulations, and she replied saying 'thanks, I'm so amazed, I can't believe i did it with only a small amount of gas and air, so proud of myself for not needing anything else'. Scrolling up I saw everyone who had congratulated had also had this kind of reply.
I'm 22 weeks pregnant with my first and I have a low pain threshold so know I will need some sort of pain relief. However, even if I didn't, I wouldn't be boasting about how much (or how little) pain relief I'd used!
AIBU to just not understand why you'd boast about this?

OP posts:
Ledkr · 27/09/2013 19:47

Thanks kingfu I get you yes.

SunshineMMum · 27/09/2013 19:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

catinboots · 27/09/2013 19:56

SHarri - you let a total stranger on the internet make you feel like shit?

Seriously. Are you so unhappy with your body that you take everything so personally?

catinboots · 27/09/2013 19:57

Maybe you should seek some professional help

DioneTheDiabolist · 27/09/2013 20:00

I am Shock, Sad and Angry at some of the comments here. The bitchiness and misogyny on this thread is breathtaking. Slagging off any woman at such a vulnerable time is cowardly and disgusting.Angry

LadyMedea · 27/09/2013 20:01

Why are you Facebook friends with her?

SourSweets · 27/09/2013 20:20

Totally agree with Dione.

SoupDragon · 27/09/2013 20:21

I do wonder why people have Facebook "friends" and then bitch about them on an Internet forum. Especially when that forum is a parenting one and the "friend" has just had a baby.

LaGuardia · 27/09/2013 20:23

I spend my working hours on a ward where women who pushed their pelvic floors into fresh air, get painfully repaired. Us EMCS mums have much to crow about.

MistressDeeCee · 27/09/2013 20:24

Bragging is bragging no need to try to dress it up differently just because its due to having a baby...it is what it is...Bragging. Although I suppose the type of woman who is into bragging publicly at all costs and throws a fit if some dont like it, isnt likely to 'get' that boastfulness isnt attractive, hiding behind what youre boasting about makes no difference. Childbirth is not new. Drug free makes you no more special than any other woman who has given birth.. & if you brag publicly as if you are, then expect to get flak. The alternative if you are sensitive to not being cooed over, is just to brag to family members. Thats supposing thats enough of an audience Smile

Sindarella · 27/09/2013 20:29

I am proud!

I had an epidural with ds1, which they let wear off before the second stage Shock then had an arm shoved up my fanjo into my womb after giving birth to remover blood clots, i was bleeding badly an it was an emergency.

Ds2 was completely natural as i kept being told i was only 1cm so couldn't have any pain relief, you have to be 4cm to get to delivery & pain relief where i am, ended up giving birth on the labour ward.

I am proud of myself for giving birth twice. An i don't care what anyone else thinks.

HooverFairy · 27/09/2013 20:34

LoreleisSecret think about what you are actually saying! On the one hand, you say that your body allowed you to have the choice, on the other you're saying that your mindset was agreed by your body - as if that had anything to do with it?

I also went in with the same mindset as you, but it didn't work out like that. I'm sure you don't intend to sound smug, but you do. It suggests that other people didn't do it 'right' which is the point of many of the posts on this thread. It exacerbates the 'competition' element.

I agree that there shouldn't be the bitchy comments, but the seemingly non-bitchy comments seem much worse. Childbirth is what it is, it's not something we can control, women shouldn't be congratulated for not having pain relief, every labour is different - pain relief is relative, not a cop out.

SHarri13 · 27/09/2013 20:34

Do you know why catinboots I came back to apologise for my reply. I'm premenstrual and hormonal. I'm sorry for the way I replied. I'm taken back by yours though. I really don't need help at all. I'm just upset that there's another fucking thing to feel guilty about now. I like life and people to be simple and my friends to be happy for me when I'm proud of something and me to be happy for them when they are proud. I just find it disheartening that they might secretly feel like some posters on here.

MistressDeeCee · 27/09/2013 20:40

Personally for me the public bragging gets to me as its not about being happy with a baby, its about me me me Im so special...oh...umm...you had drug intervention? Youre not as special as me then, I obviously did better than you. Cant see the sense of satisfaction in that, unless one likes gloating

I doubt your friend wouldnt be happy for you SHarri13. Theyre your friends. & presumably youre not sitting there saying or acting as if 'my birth was better than yours, I did it naturally, unlike some'. Completely different scenario

IneedAsockamnesty · 27/09/2013 20:43

Tbh if Facebook existed back then I would have boastfully posted that I puked on my mother during labor

It was not easy it took 2/3 attempts she's a fast little fucker

mimitwo · 27/09/2013 20:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ohmymimi · 27/09/2013 20:48

Didn't you know, that's what Facebook is for - boasting, either outright blatantly or by stealth. Why to something if you can't 'share' it? It is the only way some people can validate themselves.

pianodoodle · 27/09/2013 20:53

There are few things more momentous than giving birth.

You'd think of all the things worth sharing that would be one of them!

I wouldn't expect people to get so venomous about it :(

mimitwo · 27/09/2013 20:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

catinboots · 27/09/2013 20:56

I'm sorry too SHarri

I'd give you a hug but I'm a bit too prickly at the moment.

OryxCrake · 27/09/2013 20:57

She gave birth this morning! She's likely to be in a post-labour-and-delivery parallel universe at the moment. She's on a high - she's just had a baby. Cut her some slack.

Personally, I had one delivery with loads of pain relief and one without. Yelled my head off throughout both and was desperate to talk about the birth afterwards both times. It's a huge experience, however it pans out for you. There's no right or wrong. It just is.

Fakebook · 27/09/2013 21:04

Meh. Wouldn't have bothered me and I wouldn't have taken it so seriously. I had an epidural with my first and only gas and air with my second. All births are different. Everyone has a different perception of good child labour. Mine is getting through it alive and well regardless of path taken to get there.

MistressDeeCee · 27/09/2013 21:13

Fakebook

Mine is getting through it alive and well regardless of path taken to get there

Exactly.

zoobaby · 27/09/2013 21:16

Well it shows how HAAARD someone is, innit! Grin

Don't give it a second thought in relation to your own labour. Just be prepared to be quizzed by her about how much relief you had. Think of some suitable response like hypnobirthing or aromatherapy or something off the wall getting you through it without even any gas and air then sit back and watch the cat's bum face.

DioneTheDiabolist · 27/09/2013 21:28

All women should feel proud following childbirth and shouldn't be afraid to say so.